Break up during school

[Nicoleashley]

My boyfriend and I have been together three years and we we have been living together for over a year. He left me out of no where while I was dealing with my own parents divorce. Now I'm dealing with losing my apartment with we got together and losing him. I am extremely heartbroken and I'm falling apart, and I start classes in two weeks. He claims he doesn't want this anymore when not long ago he wanted me in his life forever. Has anyone ever experienced this and does anyone have any tips on getting through this during school... He was my main support system and my best friend. He's been there for me since I started school and we were even planning on getting married. He threw everything away so easily and it's really hard to except. I know a lot of people go through this, but right now it seems impossible to handle this much pain and take these hard classes at the same time.

[Macken]

I once knew the feeling. It's so hard to accept the fact that I've lost him. Now you could do something you like and be busy. Don't look back, just go ahead.

[SquatsNScrubs, BSN, RN]

A little over a year ago, I was in a position similar to yours.

I was in my last semester of nursing school with 2 months to go until graduation. I was in a bad car accident that left me physically and emotionally battered a few months before, and decided to end my relationship of nearly 7 years for several reasons.

There were many days I had to force myself to get out of bed. I tested poorly on several exams and wasn't sure if I was going to graduate. I even had to excuse myself in the middle of clinicals to cry in the bathroom because I was so emotionally overwhelmed.

Fast forward one year, and I am now working full time as an RN and am in a wonderful relationship with the man of my dreams.

Things WILL get better with time. Focus on yourself and achieving your goals. You CAN do this!

Hugs and best wishes.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Heed these words. Perhaps nursing school is just the activity to bide you over as the pain subsides.

And it will subside. Give it time. Here's wishing you every success with the necessary adjustments. Please get counseling if you are feeling seriously, severely impacted.

While it is likely too soon to contemplate having a new love in your life, you will be meeting new people, making new friends.

[Ben_Dover]

Just don't break up with nursing school... once you're done and have your RN license... you will thank yourself!

Challenges will always there even from the moment we were born! You are in control! As the saying goes... this too shall pass!

[tinybbynurse]

I've been there to some degree or another, girl. I feel you. I went through a break up while in nursing school and went through one a year ago after I'd been working for a few years. I understand firsthand how it impacts you at school or work.

In regards to you going to school - that's almost harder than going to a nursing job itself because when you come home you have to study whereas when you're just working, when you're off, you can relax or cry or deal with your emotions.

I'm not going to lie, my break up during school actually screwed me up. I was already doing pretty horrible in one of my classes and after the break up it only went more south in that course.

I ended up having to repeat that course, but in my defense, not long after I failed that course the nursing program switched their curriculum to not allowing students to take two particularly difficult courses together at the same time anymore that I was taking. Too many students were failing.

But the break up certainly didn't help.

Looking back it was so stupid and that guy was dumb, but you couldn't convince me otherwise at the time. I was a wreck.

I'd say try YOUR BEST to focus on school. BUT, don't beat yourself up. Life is many things, and life is not just school and work. If you have to seriously take a break, it's okay. In the long run, finishing nursing school a few months or a year later doesn't make a whole lot of a difference in the grand scheme of things.

Strive to do your best, but recognize that you're human and that's okay. Reach out to friends and family to help you financially wise and roommate wise if those are major concerns of yours.

Nursing school poses a lot of difficulties and juggling personal life is one of them. Everything will end up working out though.

[mrnurse543210]

I agree that this is a very difficult situation and I would imagine you probably want to just drop everything and hide in a hole right now. This is what a girl in my class did when she was in 3rd semester. She restarted nursing school in a different state because she followed her boyfriend there and afterwards they broke up. All that work down the drain. Now during class she hardly pays attention because she knows everything already. To me the thought of making double the payments like that is awful. If you can you should avoid this. Put your head down, be a soldier and just get through it. I sincerely hope you make it.

[elephantlover, BSN, RN]

Hi, Nicoleashley. I am sorry you are going through this. Grieving loss is not easy--this is clearly a significant loss.

I think that classes will be a healthy distraction. I would focus on taking care of yourself. Making sure you are eating decent meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep.

The breakup coupled with coping with your parents' divorce is a lot of at once. Most schools have counseling resources. I would encourage you to seek our these resources. I experienced something similar during school and I am glad I sought help when things weren't turning the corner for me.

Good luck. Take care. Be kind to yourself and do not be ashamed if to ask for help.

[AnnieNP, MSN, NP]

You have received a lot of great advice here. I'm sorry you are going through this and wish you the best. Stick around here and keep us posted on your progress with school.

[ikuchiha]

This happened to me during pre-nursing, the first semester of my sophomore year. I was devastated and my grades took a turn for the worse because of how depressed I was. I then went on to get rejected THREE times from my school's nursing program and had to transfer to another school. I am finally starting actual nursing school this year and I have been married for three months to an amazing man. Self care is key. My biggest regret is trying to get him back because it consumed me and only prolonged my pain.

[withme]

He would tell me he is supportive of me and blah blah, but he does something opposite in his actions. I'm getting through this nightmare,too. I scored in 70s out of 100 on my midterm exam. I couldn't focus, but I've been trying to do things to keep me floating. I don't know what to do except sticking in the nursing program. My husband isn't making life easier for me.

I'll do my best and try to focus in my nursing classes. I'm glad he has been showing his true colors in my early life in the program. I'm adjusting while living on the edge. I don't want to give up nursing even though it breaks my heart to think I will lose him.

[elijahvegas, ASN, RN, EMT-P]

if he said to you to pick between him and nursing school which would you choose?

I imagine you'd pick nursing school. which means at this point, nursing school is the only thing that deserves your time, effort, and undivided attention.

[luvinmylife197]

So sorry you are going through this. I think many have experienced something similar. My ex and I made it through nursing school, however, not through the night shifts I inevitably had to work beginning as a new nurse. Sadly, this has been a similar experience many of my colleagues and peers share on night shift.

At the end of the day, nursing is a tough gig, not only for us but also for our loved ones who miss us while we are in the service of others. Here I am, years later, single and on night shift while I finish grad school. My education, career and skill set will remain with me while others chose not to. For me, I have learned there isn't enough left of me to go around after work, school, and night shift. But I am worth the sacrifice. It is an investment in myself. I will not always choose to remain single perhaps, but I do know that I can count on me where others may have failed me.

Hang in there, it gets better.