Break up during school

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My boyfriend and I have been together three years and we we have been living together for over a year. He left me out of no where while I was dealing with my own parents divorce. Now I'm dealing with losing my apartment with we got together and losing him. I am extremely heartbroken and I'm falling apart, and I start classes in two weeks. He claims he doesn't want this anymore when not long ago he wanted me in his life forever. Has anyone ever experienced this and does anyone have any tips on getting through this during school... He was my main support system and my best friend. He's been there for me since I started school and we were even planning on getting married. He threw everything away so easily and it's really hard to except. I know a lot of people go through this, but right now it seems impossible to handle this much pain and take these hard classes at the same time.

I did not deal with that kind of breakup. My husband passed away and my youngest son was going thru many medical problems because of being on dialysis. I literally lost my mind by not dealing with the depressions and stress trying to get thru school. I did graduate, passed my boards, then my life fell apart. Please take time to care for yourself first. School will always be there when you are stronger.

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Don't let a man affect your future & what you worked so hard for and are capable of.

In the words of Muhammad Ali "I'm gonna show you how great I am"

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I don't see the crime in a person recognizing that a relationship isn't "the one." Granted, how one goes about breaking up with someone is important, but it seems all too common to demonize the person who decides that the relationship isn't working for both partners.

Consider the fact that he really did you a favor...you are now free to go about finding what your true destiny is...your career, your eventual best partner, etc. Try not to be bitter or see this as a tragedy. It may end up being the best thing that could have ever happened for both of you.

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I am sorry that you are going through this.Try hard to achieve your goal.I am sure he will come back once you are in a great position.Work hard and reach your goal.All the best.

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Maybe some of this is part of the problem. You have guys out here who are treating women like princesses who are basically old dogs with a lot of tricks due to having alot of sexual intercourse and being in many relationships so they know how to manipulate their boyfriend or husband. Ive seen and heard of girls/women literally straight lie to a guys face about how many guys she has been with. Or if they have had abortions or anything. Ive seen women hide the fact that they have children from guys, which is disgusting.

Im not sure if I can fault the OP's husband, or boyrfriend. He knows what the deal is, and she can deny it but lets be real. Dude sounds like a real piece of you know what. If she goes to school, and starts her career he won't be able to have that same kind of control anymore. Some guys get off on that for some reason, which is disgusting. And say if he does try to still be controlling after OP gets hr nursing degree, and starts working and possibly becomes a nurse practitioner. She can just leave him, and take the kids as well. By her posts, I can see that she would be likely to do that anyway, and it might be an idea in the back of her head. She may not wan t to seem like a gold digger though, because that is basically what a women like that is. I see these sucker ass guys who support their girlfriends through college, and very rarely do those relationships last. Very rarely.

The OPS boyfriend is under no obligation to help her. She's not his wife, and the have no children.

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Specializes in Trauma RN.

OP, the good thing is that nursing school will provide you with stability and a lot of like-minded peers and new friends! I love the idea that you're moving back in with one of your parents until you're done with school! Hopefully, that will help relieve a lot of your burdens and worries and let you focus your time and energy! Good luck!!

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Specializes in Dialysis.

Hugs to you! I was in a similar situation while in school and it was very challenging, but I was able to push through and graduate on time. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me suddenly, I had to move out. Shortly after the breakup my grandmother died and then I was in a head on collision. Despite all of that I made it! You worked hard to get where you are. You can do this!

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I almost had the same experience!

My second to last semester was almost over when my ex came home from a business trip and said he didnt want to be together anymore. I stayed and tried to work it out and then I discovered there was another person .... I instantly packed up my stuff and left. Luckily I was able to stay with a coworker.

Anyway I was incredibly devastated and depressed, but I told myself I needed to get through and support myself.

I would say reach out to other people. I became close with people at my job at the time and to my nursing classmates.

You will be amazed what new strength you find in yourself. I worked my ass off. And honestly diving into school was the best thing I did. I was able to take on a night preceptorship and got so much experience.

I won't lie I was crying and barely holding it together in the beginning, but you work on yourself! Use all that energy at school.

Now I'm working as a med surg nurse in the bay area and supporting myself. I know none of it would have happened if the break up had not lit a fire under my butt.

I believe in you!!

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Insecurity. In the back of his mind, he wants a wife who makes a good living, kiss his anal whether he mistreats her or not, and he does whatever he pleases. I don't know many women who would put up with the kind of a man. Even my own in-laws told me to push back. This was the beginning of his fear I became influenced. He did his best to isolate me. He was so good at making me looked like a crazy girl.

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Insecurity. In the back of his mind, he wants a wife who makes a good living, kiss his anal whether he mistreats her or not and does whatever he pleases without a consequence. This kind of man doesn't need a wife with a functional head, but many holes all over her body. He might as well get a robotic wife who just take his command. Leave the women alone to the real men.

I don't know many women who would put up with the kind of a man. Even my own in-laws told me to push back.

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Specializes in Adult and Pediatric Vascular Access, Paramedic.

There are men who are so insecure that they need a women who financially needs them, I know because I dated one!!!

He said that I would be a stay at home mom (umm, ok, I guess he didn't plan on discussing this with me. When I told him no I wouldn't be and that I would work at least part time even if we had kids he repeated the statement), he wouldn't let me even shower alone when we were on vacation stating "i paid for the hotel" (yea, he did, but I told him I didn't have the money at the time because I was paying my mortgage and going to school. HE wanted to go on vacation.) He wanted me to sell the condo I owned and move in with him 2 months into the relationship (yea, no), and he put me down pretty often.

This is an example of a guy who has low self esteem and needs to feel like he is required by a women to feel secure in a relationship, and when he doesn't get that he puts you down so that you feel less adequate.

I broke up with this guy because I am not going to be controlled and told that I cannot have a career (I see to many women that have a husband who pays all the bills and then when he walks out they have no way of making a living), or that I am stupid, and have no alone time. Don't ever date a guy like this, he won't change and your life will not be yours!!!

Annie

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he wouldn't let me even shower alone when we were on vacation stating "i paid for the hotel"

Annie

Wow, that is some twisted logic, isn't it? Glad you got out. From the outside, it always seems like such a no brainer that these guys are total losers, but education tells me it's of course not so easy for every woman to recognize.

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