Being Bullied

[sarahhg]

I graduated in May of 2014 and started working in June 2014. I work at "nursing home". I had 4 days of training before they threw me onto the floor. I was forced to learn the facilities polices and procedures on the fly and trial be error. I have 32 patient load and bust my hump. Sometimes staying 2-3 hours after my shift in to get it all done. Since the first day I started most of the staff were extremely helpful and taught me how things were done. All except one the nurse practitioner. She constantly and actively looks for mistakes from me. She talks down to me and in a belittling tone. She has made it quite clear that I'm to drop everything I'm doing to accommodate her requests. She also pulled me in a meeting with my supervisor chased me for calling her when there was a change of condition in her patient. She was more concerned that I bothered her and busy trying to get me in trouble that in the end the patient needed a blood transfusion. Now the harassment is getting worse. She is the only NP or staff member that has a problem with me and when other nurses make a mistake she doesn't go out of her way to report them to the DON. I have no clue how to handle this. Yesterday I had an emotional break down in a meeting with her, the DON, and the administration. They basically said that this is part of becoming a nurse and that it was worse when they were working the floor. I make mistakes I am human and I learn from them, but I don't feel that being Bullied and harassed is acceptable. What do I do. If this is how it is I really don't want to be a nurse.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

I have already started looking for other employment. It's not young and pretty vs old and crabby. I think it has something to do with that she just became an NP. She portrays herself to be superior to everyone. I also think that as we all do she makes mistakes and looks for someone to blame or take out her frustrations on. She doesn't talk to the other nurses this way or is demanding of them but I'm the minority. I'm one of two white nurses maybe that makes me an easy target. I'm going to make it a point to have a witness around when any interactions occur

Protect yourself and rephrase to DON--"Is my priority getting my medications out on time, or to round with the NP?"

Also, ask for clarification "Am I to call the NP with acute changes to one of her patients, or what is the procedure I am to follow?"

To the NP "I am attempting to do the right thing by your patients. Going forward, what is your preference?"

There are a whole lot of people who have a superiority complex. Not your issue. You can, however, ask for direct, achievable procedures so that the patient doesn't get lost in the mix of emotion.

Get malpractice insurance. Every nurse should have it. See what your other options are as far as employment.

Make sure your life outside of the facility is happy and full. Communicate in work as effectively and directly as you can.

Best wishes!

[Swilliams-RN]

I hate when people act like this she probably thinks you are an inexperienced nurse that doesn't know anything and that just because she is an NP she is the know it all. I would speak with my nurse manager about this don't approach the NP on your own because she could easily turn things around. Tell your manager you are feeling bullied, she's talking down to you which is unprofessional. Im sorry I just noticed that you said you met with them already it is tough at first when you become a new nurse but bullying and belittling is unacceptable and maybe she needs to realize that it is your eyes and ears that keep her aware of whats going on with her patients. I have encountered people like this before and I can only hold my tongue so much so my feelings ended up coming out and when they did the person backed off. I wish you luck hopefully this will end soon but always keep your irons in the fire start looking for somewhere else to work or change units if you can. Good luck :)

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

I graduated in May of 2014 and started working in June 2014. I work at "nursing home".

Do the best you can and GET OUT. Do your level best to focus on patient care and ignore people who try to get to you.

Good luck.

[klriggs53]

There is a right and a wrong way to communicate, training or otherwise. I have no patience with a bully. Over time, I have learned there is a fundamental problem with the individual that has a "need to bully" and they tend to feed on the conflict. My father use to say, " the person that is unable to look you in the eye, talk to you as an equal, is not worth the salt that goes into making bread". That amounts to about two cents. Outside the work setting, I refuse to tolerate it. Within the work setting, you will have to seek a balance, the answer to your problem is complicated, with numerous alternatives and you will have the find the none that fits you as an individual. In the last several years, there is a lot of published literature on bullies. In the work setting, I tend to be more tolerant, for all those reasons you are candidly aware of, I am sure. My advice to you, if you have to leave, hold your head high and do not compromise yourself for the sake of a bully!

Nuff said, my heart goes out to you . . .

[RNHospice]

If she is not doing the same to your co workers, and everyone is being helpful to you except this person. Speak with your co workers and see if she has done this to them or others before.

Maybe if you broke down the other day in front of DON and NP and things did not change, or not one of them tried consoling you, you may be too sensitive.

My first year as LPN I thought my name was "Jesus", I had a great Charge Nurse and always went to her for any questions...LOL, she always answered them though. Within 1 1/2 years when I was GN soon to be RN, she was ready for me to be her back up Charge Nurse.

[Jeanamarie]

I had the same problem! It ended up getting so bad that I left and went somewhere new! and have been awesome ever since, See Ive noticed its the Nurses or (NP's in your case) that see you as a potential threat, So they cut you down sooner than later! There is a nurse named Renee Thompson read her blogs she focuses on bullying in the work place! She is fantastic and gives you pointers! If it gets to the point where its interfering with patient care you need to either go above her or start seeking elsewhere. RN's are needed everywhere.

[canigraduate]

Part of the problem seems to be your own fear of her. I have been bullied, and very successfully. When I stopped being afraid and began to be assertive with the bully, my life changed for the better.

Running away will not solve the intrinsic problem, which is that you are currently being the victim.

My advice to you is stop being the victim. Practice in the mirror at home, if you have to, but start training yourself to be assertive.

EVERY SINGLE TIME this NP is inappropriate with you, call her out on it. It's even better in front of witnesses.

"I can't believe you weren't available to round with me." "I felt patient care was a higher priority at this time. If it is critical that I be with you, or you have a question for me, feel free to come get me."

"What were you thinking? I can't believe you called me about this when I was busy." "I feel that it is important to report acute changes before they become an emergency. How would you like me to handle this in the future?"

"This lab isn't that critical. Why in the world did you call me?" (Sometimes this can be legit. Be careful.) "This lab was critical. I felt the patient's safety was a priority. What value would you like me to call you for?"

These are just a few examples. You can come up with your own based on what the NP actually says to you. Also, another thing that helped me was talking it over with someone who knew the bully and could help me come up with strategies to defend myself.

Good luck.

[Graduatenurse14]

There is a nurse named Renee Thompson read her blogs she focuses on bullying in the work place! She is fantastic and gives you pointers!

RTConnections - Renee Thompson - Educating Nurses

Renee Thompson is GREAT!!!! Unlike many nurses on AN who don't acknowledge that workplace bullying-at least in nursing-exists Renee knows that it does and gives tips and support.

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

Unlike many nurses on AN who don't acknowledge that workplace bullying-at least in nursing-exists

I don't think I've ever seen anyone state that workplace bullying in nursing doesn't exist, only that situations are called bullying when no bullying has occurred.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

RTConnections - Renee Thompson - Educating Nurses

Renee Thompson is GREAT!!!! Unlike many nurses on AN who don't acknowledge that workplace bullying-at least in nursing-exists Renee knows that it does and gives tips and support.

Well now I'm seeing where people are getting the misogynistic idea that bullying runs rampant in nursing because women are all jealous of anyone younger and prettier and treat each other badly. And obviously she's made a lot of money selling that idea.

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

Sounds like she's ugly and crabby and you're young and attractive. Or it could be something else. Usually that level of vitriol comes from something that emotionally afflicts that kind of person.

.

I got bullied badly as a student. The bully was female young and absolutely stunning

Just saying

[lovinglife2015]

I can understand your point of view and I thought it was just me being sensation and over thinking things or reading to much into it. I ask several coworkers how they perceived our interactions and they say that she is very rude and aggressive towards me. One coworker was nice enough to speak to the DON on my behalf. I even catch grief when I do everything right. I hope that since everything has been laid out on the table I can go in on Monday with a positive attitude things will be different.

Why continue working there if you feel hostility from the staff? I can understand not wanting to run off in defeat, but personal happiness is much more important. Dust off your resume and find a more compatible opportunity. After spending years of time and money on education, one's work environment should not be the subject of intimidation.