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Discussion

Being Bullied

I graduated in May of 2014 and started working in June 2014. I work at "nursing home". I had 4 days of training before they threw me onto the floor. I was forced to learn the facilities polices and procedures on the fly and trial be error. I have 32 patient load and bust my hump. Sometimes staying 2-3 hours after my shift in to get it all done. Since the first day I started most of the staff were extremely helpful and taught me how things were done. All except one the nurse practitioner. She constantly and actively looks for mistakes from me. She talks down to me and in a belittling tone. She has made it quite clear that I'm to drop everything I'm doing to accommodate her requests. She also pulled me in a meeting with my supervisor chased me for calling her when there was a change of condition in her patient. She was more concerned that I bothered her and busy trying to get me in trouble that in the end the patient needed a blood transfusion. Now the harassment is getting worse. She is the only NP or staff member that has a problem with me and when other nurses make a mistake she doesn't go out of her way to report them to the DON. I have no clue how to handle this. Yesterday I had an emotional break down in a meeting with her, the DON, and the administration. They basically said that this is part of becoming a nurse and that it was worse when they were working the floor. I make mistakes I am human and I learn from them, but I don't feel that being Bullied and harassed is acceptable. What do I do. If this is how it is I really don't want to be a nurse.

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    • Featured Replies

    Sounds like she's ugly and crabby and you're young and attractive. Or it could be something else. Usually that level of vitriol comes from something that emotionally afflicts that kind of person.

    Either way, play some workplace politics just to defend yourself. Get on the good side of people. Meet with the DON in private, give her your side of the story, and tell her that you're learning as you go. She will probably say different things than when she's around the NP. Everyone has been a new grad and new grads always make mistakes. Read about what you're seeing at work to touch up your knowledge; especially if you are doing the same LTC unit and have time to look through your patients' diagnoses at home. Everyone goes through crap their early years in this field. If it remains this bad, look for a new job on the side. A lot of LTC facilities have piss poor management.

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    Sounds like she's ugly and crabby and you're young and attractive. Or it could be something else.

    SMH. Really?

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    • Expert
    Sounds like she's ugly and crabby and you're young and attractive. Or it could be something else. Usually that level of vitriol comes from something that emotionally afflicts that kind of person.

    Either way, play some workplace politics just to defend yourself. Get on the good side of people. Meet with the DON in private, give her your side of the story, and tell her that you're learning as you go. She will probably say different things than when she's around the NP. Everyone has been a new grad and new grads always make mistakes. Read about what you're seeing at work to touch up your knowledge; especially if you are doing the same LTC unit and have time to look through your patients' diagnoses at home. Everyone goes through crap their early years in this field. If it remains this bad, look for a new job on the side. A lot of LTC facilities have piss poor management.

    Yes, it's always the old crone v. the sweet, doe-eyed new nurse. The old stereotypes just won't die.

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    Sounds like she's ugly and crabby and you're young and attractive. Or it could be something else. Usually that level of vitriol comes from something that emotionally afflicts that kind of person.

    Sounds like trying to provoke a verbal brouhaha with this statement. Usually that level of vitriol comes from something that emotionally satisfies that kind of person.

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    Sounds like this thread is going down the toilet fast. That zinger in the first response is meant to provoke. I would ignore it and just learn what bullying is and what it isn't.

    OP, you can do a search. There are literally dozens of threads about bullying. It sounds like she has a problem; I don't envy you.

    Bully OnLine: bullying in the workplace, school, family and community, action you can take, stress, psychiatric injury, PTSD, resources, case histories, news and contact the media

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    Here are some threads that have covered this much-discussed subject. I saved you some legwork.

    https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/bullied-nurse-i-924024.html

    https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/nurse-bullying-539645.html

    https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/bullying-in-the-955664.html

    https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/nurse-bullying-922860.html

    https://allnurses.com/critical-care-nursing/bullying-in-nursing-823490.html

    https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/workplace-bullying-nursing-900361.html

    and that is just a start. MANY more can be found.

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    I haven't looked at the links but wondering if having so many threads on the subject is an indication of the prevalence of bullying in nursing or inaccurate labeling.

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    The meeting with her the DON and the administration is a red flag. They know this is going on but responded with " it was worse when we were on the floor". I don't think you will get the support you need from them. Start looking for a new place of employment if this is not the place for you.

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    Libby,

    I've wondered that myself. I think if a person feels bullied, it is what they say it is. Much like the patient who complains of pain, I can't tell anyone they aren't being bullied if they feel they are. I have seen bullying in the workplace, and I've worked with some people who are very hard to get along with. I've also had coworkers complain about every little thing and call it bullying when the don't get their way.

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    OP, sort out what are real slights and what is emotion. You are new and just learning; that alone is a stressor.

    Take the attitudes and words that were spoken right to the source and determine if what you are seeing and feeling is what is intended from this nurse.

    You can state something like 'I know you are trying to help me but when you present your queries in this way it puts me on guard, it hurts my feelings or whatever you are feeling.

    It definitely sounds like management is not going to be any support and going to them before confronting the NP may be going down a bad road for you.

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    • Author

    I have already started looking for other employment. It's not young and pretty vs old and crabby. I think it has something to do with that she just became an NP. She portrays herself to be superior to everyone. I also think that as we all do she makes mistakes and looks for someone to blame or take out her frustrations on. She doesn't talk to the other nurses this way or is demanding of them but I'm the minority. I'm one of two white nurses maybe that makes me an easy target. I'm going to make it a point to have a witness around when any interactions occur

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    Personally, I think that a majority of those posters are VERY quick to play the bully card. And it's not always true bullying that is happening.

    I haven't looked at the links but wondering if having so many threads on the subject is an indication of the prevalence of bullying in nursing or inaccurate labeling.
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