Bullied nurse. I quit. :(

[Cardiac_kbbq_diet]

Hi! This is my first post. I am new here. seeing all the posts about bullying comforts me a lot.

I also currently left a job because if a charge nurse who bullied me. I have been a nurse for 6 years. I have loved the job and the workplace before. I was even part of the committees. There is this charge nurse who doesn't like me and ignores what I say. I tried being cross trained to a more specialized area a year before I quit. I even organized the the cross training process and worked with. The director of the service line ( group of different departments) was amazed by my organization skills. When I did not perform as well as expected in my cross training( it was only for 3 weeks, and in the process I had a back injury) when I returned to my floor, the bullying began. She wrote me up anonymously, The management said I had weak follow through and punished me by not giving me critical patients without my knowledge. When I asked the nurse manager about this, and I asked what are the points I missed and how I can improve on, all she said was she cannot remember the exact moment I did something wrong because it was so long ago. And to improve, she just said, "just wow us". When I asked the other charge nurse who I thought was a friend what I should do, all she said was I should shadow another nurse and she said "some of us are born with critical thinking skills, but some people like you, well, you have to learn them. I was so upset I had anxiety, insomnia, I was irritable with my family...I am also in school for degree in a good nursing school, so I know I'm super stupid right? Two doctors told me I was their favorite nurse to work with. My manager said everyone likes me. I had an above average level in my team player skills in my last evaluation. It was awful.

I started looking for jobs and I got two offers by two hospitals. I quit last month. Now, I start in my new job. I'm happy I left, but I'm sad at the same time because I will miss some good people. And I am scared I'm going to be bullied all over again. I am now so scared I plan to duck my head and just do my job and go home on my new job rather than try to get more proactive.

Sorry for such a long post. I am so glad there is a place to express our feelings and to be encouraged to try harder again and not give up.

[hope3456, ASN, RN]

Hugz to you. It sounds like you tried so hard to make it work. Sometimes it is best to let it go and move on, although I know it isn't easy. Good luck in your new position.

[nursel56]

So sorry you had no choice but to leave a job you liked. It sounds like you stepped on that charge nurse's toes and she chose a passive-aggressive approach to deal with it. It makes you appreciate good managers all the more! Best wishes to you in the new job.

[caliotter3]

Glad to read that you were able to find a new job to start over, so many people in circumstances similar to your's have no recourse. I wish you all the best in your new job.

[IrishIzCPNP, MSN, RN, APRN, NP]

Hi! This is my first post. I am new here. seeing all the posts about bullying comforts me a lot.

I also currently left a job because if a charge nurse who bullied me. I have been a nurse for 6 years. I have loved the job and the workplace before. I was even part of the committees. There is this charge nurse who doesn't like me and ignores what I say. I tried being cross trained to a more specialized area a year before I quit. I even organized the the cross training process and worked with. The director of the service line ( group of different departments) was amazed by my organization skills. When I did not perform as well as expected in my cross training( it was only for 3 weeks, and in the process I had a back injury) when I returned to my floor, the bullying began. She wrote me up anonymously, The management said I had weak follow through and punished me by not giving me critical patients without my knowledge. When I asked the nurse manager about this, and I asked what are the points I missed and how I can improve on, all she said was she cannot remember the exact moment I did something wrong because it was so long ago. And to improve, she just said, "just wow us". When I asked the other charge nurse who I thought was a friend what I should do, all she said was I should shadow another nurse and she said "some of us are born with critical thinking skills, but some people like you, well, you have to learn them. I was so upset I had anxiety, insomnia, I was irritable with my family...I am also in school for degree in a good nursing school, so I know I'm super stupid right? Two doctors told me I was their favorite nurse to work with. My manager said everyone likes me. I had an above average level in my team player skills in my last evaluation. It was awful.

I started looking for jobs and I got two offers by two hospitals. I quit last month. Now, I start in my new job. I'm happy I left, but I'm sad at the same time because I will miss some good people. And I am scared I'm going to be bullied all over again. I am now so scared I plan to duck my head and just do my job and go home on my new job rather than try to get more proactive.

Sorry for such a long post. I am so glad there is a place to express our feelings and to be encouraged to try harder again and not give up.[/

QUOTE]

What? Your profile says pre-nursing student but you call yourself a nurse. Which is it? I don't hear bullying but constructive criticism. Not everything that isn't praise is bullying.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing - how are you in nursing school, and have been a nurse for 6 years? I'm sorry that you felt bullied.

[Cardiac_kbbq_diet]

I'm so sorry, I haven't figured out how to fix my profile I'm new here. I have been a nurse for 6years. I really thought it was constructive criticism at first and I was trying so hard to redeem myself but when I talked to my manager about what is the plan for how to improve myself she told me she did not know and left me at that.

[Cardiac_kbbq_diet]

I am in grad school now

[MereSanity]

I quit too! Life is too short for that junk!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I'm so tired of hearing about bullying . . . life is too short to be looking for bullies every where you go. Sounds like the OP got some negative feedback so she quit her job. Not all feedback is positive, and I doubt the new job will be all rainbows and butterflies either. But bullying? Sorry, no. Negative feedback (and it sounds like there was just one incident of it) is not bullying. Not even close.

[tuxedopenguino]

http://www.lni.wa.gov/Safety/Research/Files/Bullying.pdf

I disagree.

Workplace bullying refers to repeated, unreasonable actions of individuals (or a group) directed towards

an employee (or a group of employees), which

are intended to intimidate, degrade, humiliate, or

undermine; or which create a risk to the health or

safety of the employee(s).

Repeated negative feedback with the refusal to detail what she is doing wrong and what she needs to improve on is undermining her chances to do a good job. It sounds purposeful too. The "feedback" is so vague. "Just wow us"??? OP states she is even feeling anxious and is afraid of sticking out in her new job? How is this not bullying? I agree there are many people who may mislabel their situations as bullying, but I think this is, although subtle, legitimate.

Sounds like social undermining:

Social undermining - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

To the OP, sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know what to advise since I'm a newbie nurse but I hope the new job works out and from the sound of it, sounds like their loss.

[MoshRN]

It is so easy for us to judge and say things. Only you know what is right for you. You will be great in your new job. Be positive and do your best. We are rooting for you.