How did the pt respond?? You wrote so much but wrote nothing about how the pt responded.
Not saying this lady was not experiencing a true issue, but I've seen some crazy things people do to get attention, drugs or admitted to the ICU.
I have also given pts Ativan for resp issues, it does calm them down enough to help ease their breathing efforts. I have also given morphine for the same reason. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If she needed to be intubated, she was in the right place.
Was the doc right, I have no clue, was he an ass, maybe. The ICU is a tough place to be and you will see lots of suffering if you stay.