I'll make this as short and sweet as possible. I had really bad anxiety in nursing school, was diagnosed with panic attacks etc etc. Over the years I have grown a lot. Started working as a PCA and I went from shy bird to not so shy.
In school I was quiet, yes, but I still had friends and talked to them. I just was not the student who raised their hand up in class or was loud in clinical. I am very reserved and professional in professional settings and always get my work done.
I graduated this March. Failed nclex twice with 265 I honestly believe it was my anxiety combined with not doing enough practice nclex type questions. I finally passed this October my third time.
I began applying for jobs and reached out to a unit I really wanted to work on....I am a float PCA. Immediately got two interviews within days...was told I was going to get hired for my dream job but one more reference was needed from my clinical instructors or instructor.
They told me I had 3 days for my professor to submit the recommendation form so in desperate need to attain my dream job I emailed EVERYONE of my teachers...everyone ignored me or told me they were busy
Low and behold next day I get an email saying they decided to go with another candidate for the job....I apply to about 30 more jobs at my hospital and I was rejected to all automatically....I finally spoke to HR and the lady told me they wont be considering me for a RN position at all for a year until I get experience elsewhere BECAUSE A BAD RECOMMENDATION WAS GIVEN ABOUT ME BY A TEACHER WHO SHE COULDNT SAY WHO IT WAS....
Apparently this person expressed how much they were concerned about me being a "safe and competent" nurse. They also apparently said I would not take the initiative to care for my patients and I wouldnt be a good fit to be a nurse at this time....
SO APPARENTLY 4 YEARS AND 60K+ in debt instructors say this about me?
I also want to know how apparently I have a 3.3 GPA and never once failed out of clinical. Never once got a bad evaluation from a clinical instructor. Yet someone wants to say something bad about me NOW as a new grad and ruin my career and reputation? WHY? I cant express how much I hate nursing now...something I dreamed of doing since I was 7 years old. I cant express how depressed I am. How dumb I feel. How sad I am. How ashamed I feel. How embarrassed I am. I literally am not having the best thoughts right now. I want to just move out of this state and get away FAR AWAY.
I feel like I shouldnt have emailed everyone. I also shouldnt have stated that I got a position in the NICU (mostly NAS and GI problem babies NICU...no vents). I shouldnt have emailed out the forms as well. I feel like this person took advantage of me because the form had to be sent directly to HR so they knew I wouldnt see what they said or who sent it. Im deeply depressed. An entire hospital I was a PCA at for 3 years wont hire me. They said they take comments like that SERIOUS. They spoke with my current manager, looked at my transcripts, looked at me work evaluations and everything was good EXCEPT me failing nclex twice. The HR women said me failing twice with the bad comment was why they came up with that decision.
I am not loving life. Maybe I am not meant to be a nurse. Maybe I am not smart enough. I need somewhere to vent because I literally am about to lose my mind. The NICU was why I went into nursing. I remember going there as a child and I knew thats what I wanted to do...finally my dream was coming true and SOMEONE RUINED IT FOR ME. Help ): Where do I go from here. What do I do.........I worked at one of the best Peds hospitals...I wanted to stay in peds and now I am forced to go work else where..I have no choice...what if no one ever hires me?
I think part of the problem here is that OP wasn't prepared. She said herself she sent out a mass email to all her instructors asking for a reference. You don't do things like. You go into an interview with a list of people that you have asked to be your reference.
That so many people were quick to tell OP to call a lawyer is crazy to me. A lawyer won't do anything but take your money to the bank. The hospital has every right to not hire you if you have a bad reference. And a reference has every right to say that the job candidate isn't a good fit.
Wow OP people on here are really rude, I am so sorry! I do agree that you should just cut your losses and move on to a different hospital, clinic, or where ever you want to work. Maybe start in a slower paced facility until you get over your nursing anxiety? Then move onto more demanding floors. I know at the hospital I work at they will not hire on new grads for intensive floors. And just because you failed the NCLEX twice does not mean you are dumb or a bad nurse. I know a girl who failed her EMT licensing exam 2 times and she is the best damn firefighter/EMT that I have ever met! Just use this as a learning experience. Now you know to lock down references, and in a year, or when you feel ready, go apply again. Don't listen to the negativity on here. People always act tough behind a keyboard!
LOL I love how the above negative people don't know who I am yet are claiming I am an unsafe nurse and lives are being saved. At this point I don't care what you guys think. I don't care if you actually believe I am an unsafe nurse. I know who I am. And I am well known by managers at my hospital. Sadly I was not allowed to use anyone who wasn't my professor as a reference. I came prepared to my interview. None of you were there with me. I obviously made a very good impression if I was chosen for the position over everyone else who applied. At this point I don't care what any of you negative people think of me. Haters gonna hate right? No one will be getting in the way of my dream. Even though this door has closed for me another will be open soon. I know I have good intentions. I love helping people. I would risk my life to help and save someone else's. All the positive feedback on this forum has truly helped me in addition to the support of my close friends I have. I love all the support and advice I was given. And best believe I will use it. You guys give me hope that there are good compassionate people in this world. The rest leaving negative comments.....I hope I don't have to work with people like you. Heart less insensitive people who bring people down during hard times. Instead of taking the time to write me a negative comment save it. I have lurked these boards for years now and I constantly see people attack each other. Stop being so catty. Life is too short. And sadly I enjoyed reading all your negative comments out loud with my friends and we had a great time talking about how pathetic your negative comments are. I asked for advice. I didn't ask for you to tell me that I am an unsafe nurse....why do you think that's ok to tell me when you don't know me? Do you think it will make me feel any lower than I already did? I believe in karma. And honestly I will leave it at that. I'm sure God will take care of things for me. He knows who has good intentions and a good heart. How do you people sleep at night?
Am I mad because you guys told me the truth and I'm offended like some of you stated? No I'm mad that there are unkind insensitive people in this world. Nurses like to eat their young. And I believe a lot of people forget what it's like to be a new grad nurse. To be in school. To take the nclex. I think a lot of you are forgetting the mistakes you have made in life. How you felt when someone put you down etc etc. I asked for advice and I got amazing advice and I will run with it. Thanks again to everyone...I truly am thankful. To all the negative people God Bless and I will no longer be reading comments nor commenting back on here so don't waste your negativity on me. I don't care if you find this comment to be rude at this point. I don't care what you think of me. I just gave you what you dished me. I'm tired of bitter people coming at people's neck in life. I'm tired of getting walked all over and never speaking up for myself because I actually have a heart and I realize people have feelings. I will soon be making a difference in people's lives every day and be more successful than any of the negative people out there including the person who prevented me from getting a job at a hospital. And as I love to always say BYE FELICIA! Ã*½Ã²…Ã*¼Ã¿¼Ã*½Ã±¸Ã*¼Ã¿½
I spent a lot of time making thoughtful and helpful replies and so did other posters. You cannot just blame NETY and say the other person is being mean when you have a disagreement with someone. Welcome to the workforce, this post shows you are not
Ready to handle the inevitable peer disagreements in a professional manner.
I spent a lot of time making thoughtful and helpful replies and so did other posters. You cannot just blame NETY and say the other person is being mean when you have a disagreement with someone. Welcome to the workforce, this post shows you are not
Ready to handle the inevitable peer disagreements in a professional manner.
I don't think saying that is any more accurate than the often nasty but seemingly well liked commenters on this site saying things like....... this is a public forum-we can blow off steam here-these are not coworkers or patients here I don't have to be polite or compassionate-etc
Just because a person says one thing here doesn't make them incapable of behaving in a professional situation. Although I often have to take a deep breath and ask myself if I really want to go back to working with people that have all this potential stuffed inside of them.
OP, you are not understanding what we are telling you. When going for a job interview, you should already have your references nailed down. By your own words, you rushed into applying for jobs without being prepared. By your own words, you were not prepared to take NCLEX. That does not bode well for you trying to get into a NICU critical care job.
Taking in transcripts and additional letters of recommendation makes you look desperate and it's unprofessional. Learn a lesson from this and move on. If you don't, you could find yourself blackballed from every hospital. If you continue to stalk HR and argue with them over their decision, it won't just be a year, it will be forever that they don't hire you.
I'm also wondering how you can work as a pct when you are now a RN? I didn't think you could do that.
Can you please stop rubbing salt in the wound? It is what it is.
I agree with what you're saying by the way, but all she is hearing from you is this: "you are unprofessional, desperate, and since you failed the NCLEX twice you don't deserve to work in NICU."
I do agree that she should have been more prepared and her instructor probably shouldn't have known how many times she took NCLEX anyways.
ETA: I just realized you are not yet a nurse. I understand not blowing rainbows up people's butts but honestly you don't have to kick someone when they're down. You can be honest and kind while refraining from sugarcoating.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I began applying for jobs and reached out to a unit I really wanted to work on....I am a float PCA. Immediately got two interviews within days...was told I was going to get hired for my dream job but one more reference was needed from my clinical instructors or instructor.
They told me I had 3 days for my professor to submit the recommendation form so in desperate need to attain my dream job I emailed EVERYONE of my teachers...everyone ignored me or told me they were busy
I suspect you don't want to hear this, but YOU blew it. You should have been ready with references from one of your professors, homework done in advance. By "homework", I mean know which professors liked you and which had a problem with you. Ask those who liked you if you could use them as a reference. Be prepared to remind them what's great about you. Ask for a letter or recommendation in advance so you have some idea what they're going to say.
Blasting everyone with emails was unprofessional and demonstrated how unprepared you were for the job hunting process.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I really want to thank everyone for the sweet comments. I'm broken down into pieces right now and it really does help me mentally. I really appreciate it.
For or those who left me negative comments...do you forget what it was like to be a student or take the nclex? Do you have children of your own?
I won't say my exact age but I am under 25 years old. The past couple years I have learned a lot and grown a lot. I would never ever in a million years put a patients life or someone in danger for that matter. I know what I can handle and what I can't. I would never take a job I didn't feel comfortable doing as a new grad.
I feel used. As if my school took all my money and now is setting me up for failure.
If this person thought I was not made to be a nurse they should have said something and not passed me. Either way this person is not an honest person. Because either they are trying to ruin me and lying OR they lied on ALL my weeks worth of clinical evaluations. I find this isn't ethical either way.
To the person who said maybe they aren't trying to ruin me and are looking out for me....why do they care? It's my license. Not theirs. At the end of the day I will lose my license if I am not competent.
I didn't send a mass email out. I made each one personal for each professor. When I say all teachers I mean excluding certain classes as I was not allowed to use mental health, community etc. this left me with a limited amount of people to email. Most of my professors taught multiple classes. I tried emailing the people I trusted but there was an issue. My job wanted the email to come from a professional email...work or school. No phone calls. And I had a few teachers tell me they couldn't send personal emails out from their job email and they no longer worked for the school. I had one offer to write me a letter as she was busy with personal issues and couldn't get to it in time. Another offered her number. Yes...the rest did ignore my emails. And I actually did get one good recommendation like i stated above. I also had another professor who faxed the paper instead of email it (this was my pediatrics professor who no longer works for the school but works at the same hospital as me). The entire situation was a MESS. It was my first time applying for a job in 3 years. I am new to this. The PCA job was my first job. I'm sorry I didn't know. I wish I could go back in time. My heart was just set on the NICU and I was given 3 days and I was desperate for a recommendation to get in in time. I didn't wanna lose the job......
This person ruined my life. I never will be going back to this hospital because now I have a reputation.
Im sorry if being quiet tells some people I won't be a good nurse. Sorry I don't speak up. But best believe as a PCA I do report and speak up about my patients and form relationships with them. It's different when I'm in class....
and those who said me failing twice proves what the teacher said is true. Yes I failed twice but I failed both times with 265. What does that tell you? I was really close. And maybe my anxiety got in the way? I don't know. But I beat myself over failing twice but managed to take nclex 3 times in less than 9 months and I passed my third time.
I just feel really low right now. I honestly can't get over this. I'm really depressed because this just killed my confidence....really bad.
I just never thought my own school would do this to me as a new grad. How can I prove myself if they ruined all my chances of someone giving me a shot at my dream? I am really thinking twice about persuing this career.....why do I have to work else where to prove myself to someone? Nursing is not about a paper and pencil and a test....being a good nurse comes from the heart and the rest comes after it. Again....I would never put any one in danger...for someone to say I would never initiate patient care or I am not competent is a big deal...
When you put something out on the internet, you're not always going to get the feedback that you wanted. Sometimes, you will get negative feedback. The fact that you don't LIKE the feedback does not invalidate it. People who gave you answers you didn't like weren't trying to ruin your life and are unlikely to have forgotten what it was like to be a student, a new grad, to have taken the NCLEX or to be looking for a first nursing position. Angrily snapping back at them does not make you look calm, thoughtful or professional. This is something you need to work on.
The part about losing your license if you're incompetent -- that struck me. Is losing your license all you're worried about? Because I can tell you that a lot of incompetent nurses never lose their licenses. They do, however, cause harm to patients either by missing subtle changes and failing to rescue or by causing some dramatic negative event. Perhaps you should be worried about the possibility of causing harm to your patients.
I'm sorry you feel that you were blindsided by negative feedback. But if what you're doing on this thread is an example of how you handle negative feedback, I can see why your instructors were reluctant to take you aside and give you any. It doesn't seem as though it would penetrate anyway.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Only reason I would get a lawyer involved is to find out whom gave the bad reference and then I would confront that person face to face and do some background investigation on them to see what I could find about them.
Other than that move on find a job somewhere in your industry, maybe LTC for a while and use that as your reference.
Toward what end? If the OP was willing to "hear" negative feedback in the first place, this might not be an issue. Confronting someone about a bad reference and then investigating them? Toward what end? To try to get revenge?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I honestly don't understand why people are being so rude and blaming me? I already acknowledged I didn't go about this good no need to keep repeating it. The last thing I was worried about was references.....I'm sorry but this entire time I was working on bettering myself for NCLEX. And I got super excited I passed and had my cover letter and resume ready and started applying right away. If you read my posts I did have certain teachers I knew I could use as references but the timing was bad and rushed. The hospital wanted it in a short amount of time and actually HR suggested me to email more professors and email others AGAIN to make sure I got my recommendation in on time. Again like I said I was accepted to a NICU position and the other was an ambulatory position.
This person could have stated I was not prepared to work in an ICU setting and I would be a better fit for _______ floor. Instead they told me I am unsafe. Have I ever been unsafe? No. There's no way to be unsafe in clinical when the teacher tells you what to do ahead of time. And yes I blame it on being quiet because I actually have had a teacher tell me I won't be a good nurse because of my quiet demeanor. They observe me in clinical off the floor during "conference time" and I am not talking with my peers. I have nothing to talk about. Sorry but I don't care to get involved with gossip or how hard a class is. I have actually been told I won't be a good nurse and people will walk all over me....which is not true. School and work are different. I am a totally different person at my job. I ask questions, report, and give the best care to my patients. I come out of my shell when I know it's time to.
Obviously it was my fault I failed NCLEX because I didn't prepare well enough in the right way. I took a review course my school offered who said it was content why students failed...so I studied my butt off in content not knowing what I was getting myself into I failed with 265 the first time. The second time I decided to take a course who taught tricks and tips on getting questions right....so failed with 265. And the third time not only did I study less but I did pure NCLEX questions about 200 per day. Again I have really bad anxiety and when I sit for a test I panic and can't help but think bad thoughts the entire time. I lose focus and can't concentrate. I practiced my butt off and best believe during my NCLEX I took many breaks for recollecting myself and deep breathing to the point the test proctors seemed to be getting annoyed but I didn't care. I knew what to do differently this time. It was a learning experience.
Please stop saying I don't want to hear the truth. I never did anything for this person to say such about me. And yes I may have passed per school standards but the evaluation is per opinion and personalized for each person.....
Anyways....thank you to those who actually gave me advice and not only that but have been really sweet and sensitive. I will be up bright and early and get ahold of all my evaluations and transcripts Monday morning. I also have already reached out to a professor who I know I can count on. And my two managers at work as a reference are also a given to help me. I have learned from this and next time I will email ahead of time before just attaching my recommendation when asking. I honestly didn't know. Sadly I live at home with my parents still and have a lot to learn in the real world. I learn something new everyday now that I am older and have to step into the "real world". I really appreciate the time you guys have taken to write me and I have learned from each one of your posts.
Someone stated above to take my evaluations to HR and that's what I will be doing. I know I won't be hired at this point but I would like it to be kept on file for me just in case for future purposes.
It's evident that you don't get it. You're still blaming everyone but yourself; still unwilling to hear negative feedback and still defending the indefensible. No one was rude to you, and the fact that multiple posters are telling you the same thing ought to be a message to you that "Hey, this is something I need to pay attention to." Instead, you're still being defensive and blaming others. You are unwilling to hear the truth. Get over it.
You should be just as grateful for the people who took the time to answer your posts who had NEGATIVE feedback. It's difficult to give negative feedback, and it sometimes feels like it's a waste of time since the poster isn't welcoming of it. Learning to accept negative feedback and incorporate it into your practice is a very valuable skill.
springchick1, ADN, RN
1 Article; 1,769 Posts
I think part of the problem here is that OP wasn't prepared. She said herself she sent out a mass email to all her instructors asking for a reference. You don't do things like. You go into an interview with a list of people that you have asked to be your reference.
That so many people were quick to tell OP to call a lawyer is crazy to me. A lawyer won't do anything but take your money to the bank. The hospital has every right to not hire you if you have a bad reference. And a reference has every right to say that the job candidate isn't a good fit.