I'll make this as short and sweet as possible. I had really bad anxiety in nursing school, was diagnosed with panic attacks etc etc. Over the years I have grown a lot. Started working as a PCA and I went from shy bird to not so shy.
In school I was quiet, yes, but I still had friends and talked to them. I just was not the student who raised their hand up in class or was loud in clinical. I am very reserved and professional in professional settings and always get my work done.
I graduated this March. Failed nclex twice with 265 I honestly believe it was my anxiety combined with not doing enough practice nclex type questions. I finally passed this October my third time.
I began applying for jobs and reached out to a unit I really wanted to work on....I am a float PCA. Immediately got two interviews within days...was told I was going to get hired for my dream job but one more reference was needed from my clinical instructors or instructor.
They told me I had 3 days for my professor to submit the recommendation form so in desperate need to attain my dream job I emailed EVERYONE of my teachers...everyone ignored me or told me they were busy
Low and behold next day I get an email saying they decided to go with another candidate for the job....I apply to about 30 more jobs at my hospital and I was rejected to all automatically....I finally spoke to HR and the lady told me they wont be considering me for a RN position at all for a year until I get experience elsewhere BECAUSE A BAD RECOMMENDATION WAS GIVEN ABOUT ME BY A TEACHER WHO SHE COULDNT SAY WHO IT WAS....
Apparently this person expressed how much they were concerned about me being a "safe and competent" nurse. They also apparently said I would not take the initiative to care for my patients and I wouldnt be a good fit to be a nurse at this time....
SO APPARENTLY 4 YEARS AND 60K+ in debt instructors say this about me?
I also want to know how apparently I have a 3.3 GPA and never once failed out of clinical. Never once got a bad evaluation from a clinical instructor. Yet someone wants to say something bad about me NOW as a new grad and ruin my career and reputation? WHY? I cant express how much I hate nursing now...something I dreamed of doing since I was 7 years old. I cant express how depressed I am. How dumb I feel. How sad I am. How ashamed I feel. How embarrassed I am. I literally am not having the best thoughts right now. I want to just move out of this state and get away FAR AWAY.
I feel like I shouldnt have emailed everyone. I also shouldnt have stated that I got a position in the NICU (mostly NAS and GI problem babies NICU...no vents). I shouldnt have emailed out the forms as well. I feel like this person took advantage of me because the form had to be sent directly to HR so they knew I wouldnt see what they said or who sent it. Im deeply depressed. An entire hospital I was a PCA at for 3 years wont hire me. They said they take comments like that SERIOUS. They spoke with my current manager, looked at my transcripts, looked at me work evaluations and everything was good EXCEPT me failing nclex twice. The HR women said me failing twice with the bad comment was why they came up with that decision.
I am not loving life. Maybe I am not meant to be a nurse. Maybe I am not smart enough. I need somewhere to vent because I literally am about to lose my mind. The NICU was why I went into nursing. I remember going there as a child and I knew thats what I wanted to do...finally my dream was coming true and SOMEONE RUINED IT FOR ME. Help ): Where do I go from here. What do I do.........I worked at one of the best Peds hospitals...I wanted to stay in peds and now I am forced to go work else where..I have no choice...what if no one ever hires me?
I honestly don't understand why people are being so rude and blaming me? I already acknowledged I didn't go about this good no need to keep repeating it. The last thing I was worried about was references.....I'm sorry but this entire time I was working on bettering myself for NCLEX. And I got super excited I passed and had my cover letter and resume ready and started applying right away. If you read my posts I did have certain teachers I knew I could use as references but the timing was bad and rushed. The hospital wanted it in a short amount of time and actually HR suggested me to email more professors and email others AGAIN to make sure I got my recommendation in on time. Again like I said I was accepted to a NICU position and the other was an ambulatory position.
This person could have stated I was not prepared to work in an ICU setting and I would be a better fit for _______ floor. Instead they told me I am unsafe. Have I ever been unsafe? No. There's no way to be unsafe in clinical when the teacher tells you what to do ahead of time. And yes I blame it on being quiet because I actually have had a teacher tell me I won't be a good nurse because of my quiet demeanor. They observe me in clinical off the floor during "conference time" and I am not talking with my peers. I have nothing to talk about. Sorry but I don't care to get involved with gossip or how hard a class is. I have actually been told I won't be a good nurse and people will walk all over me....which is not true. School and work are different. I am a totally different person at my job. I ask questions, report, and give the best care to my patients. I come out of my shell when I know it's time to.
Obviously it was my fault I failed NCLEX because I didn't prepare well enough in the right way. I took a review course my school offered who said it was content why students failed...so I studied my butt off in content not knowing what I was getting myself into I failed with 265 the first time. The second time I decided to take a course who taught tricks and tips on getting questions right....so failed with 265. And the third time not only did I study less but I did pure NCLEX questions about 200 per day. Again I have really bad anxiety and when I sit for a test I panic and can't help but think bad thoughts the entire time. I lose focus and can't concentrate. I practiced my butt off and best believe during my NCLEX I took many breaks for recollecting myself and deep breathing to the point the test proctors seemed to be getting annoyed but I didn't care. I knew what to do differently this time. It was a learning experience.
Please stop saying I don't want to hear the truth. I never did anything for this person to say such about me. And yes I may have passed per school standards but the evaluation is per opinion and personalized for each person.....
Anyways....thank you to those who actually gave me advice and not only that but have been really sweet and sensitive. I will be up bright and early and get ahold of all my evaluations and transcripts Monday morning. I also have already reached out to a professor who I know I can count on. And my two managers at work as a reference are also a given to help me. I have learned from this and next time I will email ahead of time before just attaching my recommendation when asking. I honestly didn't know. Sadly I live at home with my parents still and have a lot to learn in the real world. I learn something new everyday now that I am older and have to step into the "real world". I really appreciate the time you guys have taken to write me and I have learned from each one of your posts.
Someone stated above to take my evaluations to HR and that's what I will be doing. I know I won't be hired at this point but I would like it to be kept on file for me just in case for future purposes.
Oh yeah, when I applied for my PCA job I had these same reference forms filled out....and I didn't think they would have asked for it to be done again at the same job. I thought they were going to talk to my manager as my reference since I now worked for the hospital. Not making excuses. Just saying WHY I didn't have reference letters in hand prior to applying. I knew mentally who I could count on and have their phone numbers and emails. I didn't know the references had to be done a certain way in a certain amount of days. Everything was bad timing and bad doing on my part.....I know. I never expected for someone to say such bad things about me. I'm really hurt. And confused. I know I will find a job in my city....I'm just sad. I feel really dumb. And unworthy. Ashamed. Embarrassed. And most of all heartbroken I had my dream job and someone got in the way of it. It feels like my life is over but doesn't everyone when something bad happens to them? :/
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Here's some personal disclosure from me...
I didn't have any references from my instructors from my LVN program 10 years ago, but I have the self-awareness to know why. Honestly, I don't have the most endearing personality in the world, and my clinical practicum performance was somewhat sloppy although it was passable.
My lack of references didn't ruin my life or career. In fact, I've risen higher professionally than the vast majority of my former classmates and now have my dream job. In addition, the opinions of my former instructors no longer matter since I now have my pick of superb references from colleagues.
The truth is that nobody in the world owes us a positive reference, even if we passed our clinical rotations and earned good grades. Now is the time to forge one's niche in the professional world and make a positive impact to assure coworkers and managers that you won't disappoint if they put in a good word for you.
I didn't have any references from my instructors from my LVN program 10 years ago, but I have the self-awareness to know why. Honestly, I don't have the most endearing personality in the world, and my clinical practicum performance was somewhat sloppy although it was passable.
My lack of references didn't ruin my life or career. In fact, I've risen higher professionally than the vast majority of my former classmates and now have my dream job. In addition, the opinions of my former instructors no longer matter since I now have my pick of superb references from colleagues.
The truth is that nobody in the world owes us a positive reference, even if we passed our clinical rotations and earned good grades. Now is the time to forge one's niche in the professional world and make a positive impact to assure coworkers and managers that you won't disappoint if they put in a good word for you.
Again, good luck to you!
I could disclose a lot of dumb things I did as a collegiate and new nurse....but I'd rather just let them rest :) I'm glad I didn't have the internet back then. If I'd known all I do now I'd probably have given up. I was blissfully naive.
OP being quiet doesn't make or break a nurse. Whoever said that is ridiculous. Forgetaboutem. I also think you've gotten really good advice. You should probably quit reading this thread because most people just read your original post and then comment so it's just gonna make you feel bad being reminded
No one (I don't think anyhow) said you shouldn't be disappointed. You need to grieve and then find a way to let it go and take the steps you need to move on. Better to get on getting on....speaking as someone that has to really make an effort to do that when duty calls. :)
You'll feel better once you start working on getting to your goal than thinking about someone that did something not very nice. Who knows why they did it...some people are terrible. All you need to do is focus on being the best nurse you can. :)
OP, you are not understanding what we are telling you. When going for a job interview, you should already have your references nailed down. By your own words, you rushed into applying for jobs without being prepared. By your own words, you were not prepared to take NCLEX. That does not bode well for you trying to get into a NICU critical care job.
Taking in transcripts and additional letters of recommendation makes you look desperate and it's unprofessional. Learn a lesson from this and move on. If you don't, you could find yourself blackballed from every hospital. If you continue to stalk HR and argue with them over their decision, it won't just be a year, it will be forever that they don't hire you.
I'm also wondering how you can work as a pct when you are now a RN? I didn't think you could do that.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
I'm also wondering how you can work as a pct when you are now a RN? I didn't think you could do that.
Some state boards of nursing allow CNAs/PCTs/PCAs to work in that role long after they've passed the NCLEX-RN. Some RNs in California have been working as CNAs for a year or longer while hunting for licensed nursing jobs.
I'd rather relocate to an area where nursing jobs are more abundant than accept PCT work, but I realize that not everyone has the willingness or means to move.
Some state boards of nursing allow CNAs/PCTs/PCAs to work in that role long after they've passed the NCLEX-RN. Some RNs in California have been working as CNAs for a year or longer while hunting for licensed nursing jobs.
I'd rather relocate to an area where nursing jobs are more abundant than accept PCT work, but I realize that not everyone has the willingness or means to move.
Thanks, I didn't know that. I've been looking at pct jobs for nursing students that will lead into RN positions once I graduate. I think I have one lined up as I interviewed last Wednesday!! I'm super excited. I was able to meet the RNs on the unit and we seemed to click. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this works out.
This person could have stated I was not prepared to work in an ICU setting and I would be a better fit for _______ floor. Instead they told me I am unsafe. Have I ever been unsafe? No. There's no way to be unsafe in clinical when the teacher tells you what to do ahead of time.
Sure there is. When I have a student it's up to me to make sure the patient isn't harmed, but if the student isn't thinking critically about why were doing what we're doing, isn't thinking ahead, not using safe technique... Basically if I'm continually having to tell you what to do because you're not figuring it out, my patient will be safe because that's what I'm there for, but you're still acting unsafe. The longer this goes on the more likely I am to consider you unsafe, period.
Please stop saying I don't want to hear the truth. I never did anything for this person to say such about me. And yes I may have passed per school standards but the evaluation is per opinion and personalized for each person.....
I don't want to be a jerk, but none of my students that are unsafe think they're unsafe, because they're unaware of the unsafe things they keep trying to do before I stop them. Which is why transcripts and evals probably aren't going to help. They want to know how you are in the real world, with experienced nurses observing you.
Sure there is. When I have a student it's up to me to make sure the patient isn't harmed, but if the student isn't thinking critically about why were doing what we're doing, isn't thinking ahead, not using safe technique... Basically if I'm continually having to tell you what to do because you're not figuring it out, my patient will be safe because that's what I'm there for, but you're still acting unsafe. The longer this goes on the more likely I am to consider you unsafe, period.
I don't want to be a jerk, but none of my students that are unsafe think they're unsafe, because they're unaware of the unsafe things they keep trying to do before I stop them. Which is why transcripts and evals probably aren't going to help. They want to know how you are in the real world, with experienced nurses observing you.
This. Exactly. The more OP argues that the referee was out to "ruin" her, the more I think she has no insight into exactly how unsafe she was in clinical, which the referee picked up on.
As others have said, eventually you will find employment. In future, contact your references in advance of providing their names and ensure that someone is willing to provide a positive report. Emailing a handful of instructors is not the way to ensure you will receive a good reference.
Know who your references are and what they plan to say in advance.
100% untrue. This is an urban legend. Please don't spread any further.
Exactly. As long as they are specific and factual, they can say whatever reference wise. Most places just choose not to take a risk of something being misconstrued
Dreamscometru
19 Posts
I honestly don't understand why people are being so rude and blaming me? I already acknowledged I didn't go about this good no need to keep repeating it. The last thing I was worried about was references.....I'm sorry but this entire time I was working on bettering myself for NCLEX. And I got super excited I passed and had my cover letter and resume ready and started applying right away. If you read my posts I did have certain teachers I knew I could use as references but the timing was bad and rushed. The hospital wanted it in a short amount of time and actually HR suggested me to email more professors and email others AGAIN to make sure I got my recommendation in on time. Again like I said I was accepted to a NICU position and the other was an ambulatory position.
This person could have stated I was not prepared to work in an ICU setting and I would be a better fit for _______ floor. Instead they told me I am unsafe. Have I ever been unsafe? No. There's no way to be unsafe in clinical when the teacher tells you what to do ahead of time. And yes I blame it on being quiet because I actually have had a teacher tell me I won't be a good nurse because of my quiet demeanor. They observe me in clinical off the floor during "conference time" and I am not talking with my peers. I have nothing to talk about. Sorry but I don't care to get involved with gossip or how hard a class is. I have actually been told I won't be a good nurse and people will walk all over me....which is not true. School and work are different. I am a totally different person at my job. I ask questions, report, and give the best care to my patients. I come out of my shell when I know it's time to.
Obviously it was my fault I failed NCLEX because I didn't prepare well enough in the right way. I took a review course my school offered who said it was content why students failed...so I studied my butt off in content not knowing what I was getting myself into I failed with 265 the first time. The second time I decided to take a course who taught tricks and tips on getting questions right....so failed with 265. And the third time not only did I study less but I did pure NCLEX questions about 200 per day. Again I have really bad anxiety and when I sit for a test I panic and can't help but think bad thoughts the entire time. I lose focus and can't concentrate. I practiced my butt off and best believe during my NCLEX I took many breaks for recollecting myself and deep breathing to the point the test proctors seemed to be getting annoyed but I didn't care. I knew what to do differently this time. It was a learning experience.
Please stop saying I don't want to hear the truth. I never did anything for this person to say such about me. And yes I may have passed per school standards but the evaluation is per opinion and personalized for each person.....
Anyways....thank you to those who actually gave me advice and not only that but have been really sweet and sensitive. I will be up bright and early and get ahold of all my evaluations and transcripts Monday morning. I also have already reached out to a professor who I know I can count on. And my two managers at work as a reference are also a given to help me. I have learned from this and next time I will email ahead of time before just attaching my recommendation when asking. I honestly didn't know. Sadly I live at home with my parents still and have a lot to learn in the real world. I learn something new everyday now that I am older and have to step into the "real world". I really appreciate the time you guys have taken to write me and I have learned from each one of your posts.
Someone stated above to take my evaluations to HR and that's what I will be doing. I know I won't be hired at this point but I would like it to be kept on file for me just in case for future purposes.