Am I a bully?

Nurses Relations

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I was written up and was fired for this. I was charge doing three different tasks at the same time at 1200. A RN comes up to me and says I' m so busy.I looked up from the discharge paper I was working on and said "that's too bad you are so busy , staff should be returning from lunch soon". So I'm being told saying "that's too bad "was a bulling remark.I thought it was just feedback.Also that I refused to help her now sure how her saying "I'm so busy "was a request for help.I also was busy doing discharge paperwork and watching telemetry and answering the phone.Was I a bully?

Specializes in CNA 8 yrs LPN 6 geri, chemical dependency.

I wouldn't tell a nurse manager some idea of hers was stupid and expect not to get written up. The"that's too bad" was stupid, in my opinion

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Specializes in Med-surg, telemetry, oncology, rehab, LTC, ALF.
As a charge myself, any staff coming to me and saying "I'm so busy" is clear *nurse-speak* asking for help.

I agree.

I wonder, was the other nurse new? Was she refusing to help her? Did something happen after this nurse complained of how busy she was that could have been mitigated by her stepping away from the paperwork to help?

There's not enough information. Something is being left out, here.

Schedule

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Where did the OP go? A lot of folks are confused at this point due to the lack of info provided. OP, please see: https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/am-i-a-1059326-post9110289.html

We are here to help and fully understand the situation. But we can't "get there" with the info provided.

Sent from my LGLS992 using Tapatalk

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Was the nurse you were speaking to a millennial? Because they are special you know, you have to be very careful with their delicate feelings. They don't like to be crush like a little flower so tread carefully around them. You have to super sweet and nice to them, but make sure you wear a hard hat so that when they step on you to get up to the next level you don't get a concussion. Also beware the tire marks when they throw you under the bus. Can you tell I am over these millennials? I have never had any trouble at work until the millennials entered the work force and started to complain about how everyone else talks to them.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Was the nurse you were speaking to a millennial? Because they are special you know, you have to be very careful with their delicate feelings. They don't like to be crush like a little flower so tread carefully around them. You have to super sweet and nice to them, but make sure you wear a hard hat so that when they step on you to get up to the next level you don't get a concussion. Also beware the tire marks when they throw you under the bus. Can you tell I am over these millennials? I have never had any trouble at work until the millennials entered the work force and started to complain about how everyone else talks to them.

As a millennial, you are speaking about the "delicate ones"; if you ever worked with me, you would think I was a COB and probably think I would eat you.

There are "entitled" members of every generation that act like special "you-know-what's"; if anything, there are people in this business appear to be sensitive in a new environment, especially an overwhelming one because they want to be perfect, prove their worth, and don't want to rock the boat in order to assimilate until they get the hang of what their doing and be confident in their own practice, and that's a cross generations, so let's keep the "millennial are sensitive" when that is a BIG board brush and I assure you, only specific to a small percentage that have lived a "charmed" life free of being hungry, having to work two jobs, or never been taught the life skills of survival-OK?

Thanks in advance. :yes:

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.
As a millennial, you are speaking about the "delicate ones"; if you ever worked with me, you would think I was a COB and probably think I would eat you.

Don't take it to heart — I am an Gen X-er and supposed to be a slacker. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, right. Ooops, I am slacking right now... ack!

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
As a millennial, you are speaking about the "delicate ones"; if you ever worked with me, you would think I was a COB and probably think I would eat you.

There are "entitled" members of every generation that act like special "you-know-what's"; if anything, there are people in this business appear to be sensitive in a new environment, especially an overwhelming one because they want to be perfect, prove their worth, and don't want to rock the boat in order to assimilate until they get the hang of what their doing and be confident in their own practice, and that's a cross generations, so let's keep the "millennial are sensitive" when that is a BIG board brush and I assure you, only specific to a small percentage that have lived a "charmed" life free of being hungry, having to work two jobs, or never been taught the life skills of survival-OK?

Thanks in advance. :yes:

Thank you for this. I am also a millenial that is the complete opposite of what that post described. It's ridiculous to judge an entire generation based on your bad encounters.

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Specializes in Registered Nurse.
In 20 years this was my first write up about the discharges.I said it was stupid to think the charge nurse could do all the discharges. No verbal warnings . No private conversations.no follow up for the write up in Feb. I was told not to file a grievance in Feb by HR. The grievance process is a joke.I send my grievance to the same person who wrote me up. No there is nothing in policy regarding coming into the hospital . I am a RN.

Sometimes we regret saying things, and I am sure you knew soon after you said that it was not the good thing to say. I feel for you because sometimes the honest thing does come out of our mouths before we can stop it. As someone else said, the NM is not liking you and probably has been looking for some more info to fire you. Cut your loses and learn from it....but I do understand your frustration!

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I know this is only one side of the story but it's a very short side and makes me think that there's a lot missing! Never heard of anyone being fired for something that seems as minor as this, do you have a long string of other complaints against you and this was the final straw?

I was thinking something similar. :yes:

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ITA with your post. When I working in a very "clickey/sp",cuthroat Cardiac-Surgery Floor on a stepdown unit, there was a 20yr SICU nurse who was very bright & Oriented new staff besides taking care of fresh post-op open heart pts. One very sad day/btw-I worked nights. The seasoned RN had a new grad, one fresh open heart pt w/complications & a 2 day post-op pt. The orientee gave the pt incorrect Heparin SQ. Seasoned RN immediately caught error, spoke to PA/situation handled, pt suffered NO s/s from this. SHE appropriately wrote up incident report, told her NM. Next day, SHE came into unit, told to go to DON by NM & was promptly fired because of the MED ERROR?!! Orientee was not reprimanded,wrote up & nor fired. Hospital is a NON UNION. Nurses, MD's etc WERE ALL VOCAL ABOUT HER TERMINATION. The "unofficial" but true reason was SHE COST TOO MUCH $$ FOR HOSPITAL & CAN GET 2 NEW RN's for HER SALARY!! They didn't care what an ASSET SHE WAS FOR ALL, especially the PATIENTS!!

Also have witnessed "older" NEW nurses not get jobs, written up for small/ridiculous things, My "FAV" thing that they were told before being dismissed is YOU TAKE TO LONG VS SUZY Q who IS 1/2 THEIR AGE..

This is not unique just to nursing, Sadly this is becoming a common issue across every profession.

Sadly, Idk what the solution is, I wish I knew & wish that age discrimination like all types doesn't exist, but it does...

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Specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.
Don't take it to heart — I am an Gen X-er and supposed to be a slacker. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, right. Ooops, I am slacking right now... ack!

Me too! (on both counts)

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WELL SAID! :yes:

I disagree and think that there is a lot more to the situation than what is being described for the situation to result in termination. I also think that your reference of "snowflake" for the nurse who was asking for help is a reflection of the consistent issues plaguing professional practice.

Anyone can win an award and time in service in any one job does not necessarily make you a subject matter expert. There is quit a bit of litigation against nurses who had a wealth of experience but made poor decisions. So while I respect any nurse achieving a high status, getting a higher level degree, or receiving awards, I don't see the merit in mentioning that in this discussion.

A foundation of leadership is communication style, even when under pressure. When I served in the military during OIF I can recall a time when a JDAM fell off of one of our jets, this is live ordinance, and landed on the hand of one of the guys in my command. This became a live ordinance issue on-board a flight deck that could have killed 5,000 of us on the ship and there was someone with their hand stuck under it. The Chief who was up there was trying to coordinate getting the hand of his man out from under a bomb, a possibly deadly situation for everyone standing there. One of the new guys in the command came up to him during this event and asked a totally erroneous question about a jet on the other side of the flight deck and that Chief answered him and gave him guidance, then got back to the situation at hand (No pun intended). The new E2 mentioned this when we did a safety stand down and talked about the fact that the Chief who was dealing with such a dangerous situation was able to give him direction and not bite his head off for not realizing the severity of what he was dealing with. This was part of what earned that Chief a NAM which is a level of recognition in the Navy and Marine Corps.

The reason I bring up that story is because I think that more transformational leadership is needed in nursing. I think that how leaders communicate to their people, how they read their people, and how they help their people is a reflection of their leadership abilities. I think that as the leader, the charge nurse is responsible for asking inquisitive questions like, "Are you ok?", "Do you need help?", etc. I think that if this charge had asked those questions and noted what was most likely a look of depravity on the nurse, rather than just writing her off the situation might have gone differently. Isn't that what we do a nurses all day? We walk into a room, we see a patient and can tell something isn't right, we ask questions, we take note of subjective findings, then we take action. I find it incredibly hard to believe that a nurse would be fired for simply the situation as is described.

"Wisdom is assumed to be intrinsically associated with age and experience [but] age is not necessarily a factor in being a wise nurse. Wisdom is assumed to be intrinsically associated with age and experience. Although older people have more experiences, age is not the only characteristic associated with wisdom. Pasupathi (2001) has posited that those who are "open to new experiences, are creative, who think about the how and why of an event rather than simply whether it is good or bad, who demonstrate more social intelligence, or who are oriented towards personal growth display higher levels of wisdom-related knowledge and judgment" (p. 403). This is important for nursing because it means that age is not necessarily a factor in being a wise nurse."

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