Am I a bully?

[haron54]

I was written up and was fired for this. I was charge doing three different tasks at the same time at 1200. A RN comes up to me and says I' m so busy.I looked up from the discharge paper I was working on and said "that's too bad you are so busy , staff should be returning from lunch soon". So I'm being told saying "that's too bad "was a bulling remark.I thought it was just feedback.Also that I refused to help her now sure how her saying "I'm so busy "was a request for help.I also was busy doing discharge paperwork and watching telemetry and answering the phone.Was I a bully?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

OP,

Depending on tone, body language, intent and context what you described might have been rude or dismissive on your part or it may have been you just telling it like it is. i can't tell. But I can tell that it definitely wasn't bullying.

Not all unpleasant interactions are bullying.

Not all unpleasant interactions are bullying, but we cannot say whether the poster was or was not bullying without more details. I don't know what the poster's pattern of behavior is like. It seems suspicious that this one incident would have resulted in a termination without some prior warning that the manager was unhappy with the nature of the poster's interactions with her colleagues. So whether or not this one incident constituted bullying - and like you, I'm thinking it did not in and of itself, it sounds to me as if there has been a prior pattern of bullying. Either that or it's pure ageism run amok.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Several points to make based on your reply.

1) This "footnote" is actually from a scholarly reference and is a piece of a concept analysis on "Wisdom" in nursing.

Toward an Understanding of Wisdom in Nursing.

Authors:

Matney, Susan A.; Avant, Kay; Staggers, Nancy

Affiliation:

University of Utah College Of Nursing, Salt Lake City, UT

Roger L. and Laura D. Zeller Distinguished Professor of Nursing, University of Texas Health Science Center, San Antonio, Texas

Source:

Online Journal of Issues in Nursing (ONLINE J ISSUES NURS), Jan2016; 21(1): 7-7. (1p)

Publication Type:

Article

Language:

English

Major Subjects:

Nursing Knowledge

Models, Theoretical

Nursing Theory

Minor Subjects:

Literature; Concept Analysis; Paradigms; Psychology; Conceptual Framework; Work Experiences; Life Experiences

Journal Subset:

Core Nursing; Double Blind Peer Reviewed; Editorial Board Reviewed; Expert Peer Reviewed; Nursing; Peer Reviewed; USA

ISSN:

1091-3734

MEDLINE Info:

NLM UID: 9806525

Entry Date:

20160120

Revision Date:

20160127

DOI:

Error: DOI Not Found

Accession Number:

112345105

Database:

CINAHL Plus with Full Text

2) As someone with an undergraduate degree in management, 5 years of military service, 8 years in business, management, HRM, and project management, and 5 years of nursing I feel I am pretty well qualified to discuss management roles and leadership qualities. My graduate education has also helped me to view the wider scope of nursing practice and my background has helped me to develop ideas, thoughts, and views on the profession.

I do realize that for a person with 34 years of experience in anything, it might be hard to comprehend newer philosophies and theories in organization, management, and leadership with solid research backing up such principles. I also realize it could be difficult to have enough emotional intelligence to not be prideful or boastful of oneself and to state in a public forum that one has never made a wrong call. I also realize that it might be difficult for someone to recognize "footnotes" from peer reviewed articles might have some validity and could contribute to the direction and the evolution of the profession of nursing. I totally get it.

3) I also totally understand that you would think your ranking of 33 years of nursing practice might allow you to come on this public forum and talk down to or berate nurses with less experience in nursing, even when some of those nurses are proven professionals in other fields. It is ok, I get it. I don't take it personally. But one thing you should recognize, aside from your superiority complex as both an experienced nurse and someone who has never made a wrong call, is that it is ok for other professionals to have differing opinions and different thought processes. It is ok for people to come into this profession with different backgrounds and challenge the status quo. Change is a good thing. Nursing in it's current state is unsustainable and in need of drastic change, the ways of the past will not work for the future.

Excuse me? You think that just because someone has 34 years of experience -- in other words, is in their mid 50s -- means that it might be hard for them to comprehend newer philosophies and theories? How's the air up there on your high horse? I am not agreeing with the person who said that in 20 years of charging, they've never made an error in judgement. That's a pretty silly assertion. But it's also silly -- and insulting -- to state that is old folks can't learn new theories.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I don't disagree that the request was stupid; it was.

However, telling one's superiors that their decision is "stupid" is a sure path onto the black list.

Whether or not your manager's request is stupid, it is stupid to tell her that it is.

[cayenne06, MSN, CNM]

Was the nurse you were speaking to a millennial? Because they are special you know, you have to be very careful with their delicate feelings. They don't like to be crush like a little flower so tread carefully around them. You have to super sweet and nice to them, but make sure you wear a hard hat so that when they step on you to get up to the next level you don't get a concussion. Also beware the tire marks when they throw you under the bus. Can you tell I am over these millennials? I have never had any trouble at work until the millennials entered the work force and started to complain about how everyone else talks to them.

Kids these days, amirite? Back in my day we had to walk up hill in the snow both ways just to refill our patient's water pitchers. *eyeroll.* This is the same thing every generation says about the next.

[kmsussman]

Amen to your post!! Ita w/every word!! Listing their "CV" & reasons for extraordinary accomplishments was condescending enough, but to insult ACTUAL NURSES who HAVE ACTUAL YEARS of experience IS THE ONE I WANT TAKING CARE OF ME/MY LOVED ONES & I ALWAYS SOUGHT OUT SINCE DAY 1 IN 1987 to be MY: coworker/friend/mentor/advisor & it always SERVED ME & MY PATIENTS WELL!! I could go on about HOW much I benefitted, & respected them!! Give me an "old timer" like Ruby anytime over a "newbie" with so many Alphabet soup credentials after RN who has an "elitist" attitude & legend in their own mind mentality...Sad that they don't get the "real" world, telling your superior that their "request is stupid" = no common sense IMO.

[WKShadowNP, DNP, APRN]

Kids these days, amirite? Back in my day we had to walk up hill in the snow both ways just to refill our patient's water pitchers. *eyeroll.* This is the same thing every generation says about the next.

Teehee.

I, for one, enjoy hearing about my Vice DON talking about cooking their own morphine, sterilizing and sharpening needles, and being both dietary and housekeeping.

One reason is I enjoy the nostalgia and another is I am grateful we've come so far, baby.