Am I a bully?

Nurses Relations

Published

I was written up and was fired for this. I was charge doing three different tasks at the same time at 1200. A RN comes up to me and says I' m so busy.I looked up from the discharge paper I was working on and said "that's too bad you are so busy , staff should be returning from lunch soon". So I'm being told saying "that's too bad "was a bulling remark.I thought it was just feedback.Also that I refused to help her now sure how her saying "I'm so busy "was a request for help.I also was busy doing discharge paperwork and watching telemetry and answering the phone.Was I a bully?

Specializes in School Nursing.

I don't know that bully is the right word here. It does sound like your interpersonal skills may be lacking a bit. After 40 years as a nurse, I'm a bit shocked they're not a tad better developed, actually. To tell your boss his/her instructions are "stupid"? Wow, even at age 20 I had better sense than that. If you're not interacting well with the staff (your choice of terminology kind of leads me to believe this), you're not an effective team member. It really boils don't to that.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

You are basing this on what?

It's the employer's responsibility to provide the suspension conditions in writing. The employer should have given the OP a suspension letter that included instructions such as; hand in employee ID, gather belongings before leaving the building, be available for an interview with human resources, do not to enter the premises until HR arranges the interview. The employer failed to communicate clearly and used disposable employee tactics, which were cruel and hypocritical.
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in School Nursing.

I'm curious- have you really been working in this hospital for 40 years? If so, did you lose a pension/retirement benefits by being fired?

If any of this is true- there definitely might be some dirty tricks being played here.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Burn, Ortho, Trauma.
In my 20 years of charge nurse duties, on the front lines... I never made a wrong call. I knew when any staff nurse was in trouble, before s/he realized it. I knew the situation on all 30 patients on the unit.. watched them and the staff like a hawk.

If a nurse said to me "I'm so busy".. I would know what s/he was busy with... with or without "inquisitive" questions. I knew what was going on,and supported each and every one when they truly needed leadership.

I find it hilarious that you support your impressions with footnotes... from some article written by someone that has never schlepped the halls of a chaotic step-down unit. I am not old.. but I am wise.

Can we get back to the OP's issue now?

In my whopping 7yrs of experience I would NEVER claim that I have never made a mistake or wrong call. I wont be saying that in 20 yrs either. That's hubris and will bite you in the butt some day no matter how old and experienced. There is no way a human being can know at a given time 100% of what is going on in a 32 bed unit and wouldn't claim I do as charge nurse. I'm there to assist, delegate, direct traffic and act as a mentor to the baby nurses as needed. Everyone on that floor has a license and is responsible for the care they give. I don't have ESP or a crystal ball to know when a nurse is in trouble before they do and neither do any of the competent wonderful nurses I work with.

RE THE OP: They were (probably, sadly) chased out for age. Get the HR policies and a lawyer as previously stated.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Burn, Ortho, Trauma.

Ps while not always appropriate sarcasm is often used in the workplace. I am known for it. Unlike the other nightengale-like saints that post here, I would say that's too bad or how does it feel to want? But only when the humor can be appreciated and to the right individual. And at my facility its not going to get me fired. I also ask for all bad news to be phrased in the e form of a positive statement. Like good news, we get to page the attending, etc instead of constant doom and gloom. Keeping the mood appropriately light.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks you for your feedback.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

You know darn well you said a whole lot more than "that's too bad" to be written up and fired.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

No to losing pension since it's a 401k and most of the money in it was mine with a 3% match.I have work 40 years at the same hospital either full, part, per deim When I worked per deim I worked other jobs.I travel x a year in dialysis. I worked 10 years ICU full time and 10 years full time ER and float between for many years.I worked in a small hospital so over the years I have worked nearly all department including laundry because one weekend we ran out of towels and sheets.On the weekends I did pharmacy and supply needs. I feel I have been a very dependable employee and who was not above washing floors and cleaning toilets. I feel I was treated poorly and no one in management supported me in this are even asked me about it. That is why I reached out to other nurses about how things are handled in different places.I could not wrapped my head around " Too bad you're so busy " as a bulling remark .Maybe I could have said "I'm sorry your busy can I help" But I thought she was just tried of answering call bells and just hinting about how many she had answered.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
No to losing pension since it's a 401k and most of the money in it was mine with a 3% match.I have work 40 years at the same hospital either full, part, per deim When I worked per deim I worked other jobs.I travel x a year in dialysis. I worked 10 years ICU full time and 10 years full time ER and float between for many years.I worked in a small hospital so over the years I have worked nearly all department including laundry because one weekend we ran out of towels and sheets.On the weekends I did pharmacy and supply needs. I feel I have been a very dependable employee and who was not above washing floors and cleaning toilets. I feel I was treated poorly and no one in management supported me in this are even asked me about it. That is why I reached out to other nurses about how things are handled in different places.I could not wrapped my head around " Too bad you're so busy " as a bulling remark .Maybe I could have said "I'm sorry your busy can I help" But I thought she was just tried of answering call bells and just hinting about how many she had answered.

Hi haron54.

We are trying to fully understand your predicament. A few of us, along with myself have inquired about a few things that you may have seemingly overlooked.

Or perhaps, you just wish not to answer. Which is obviously your right.

You stated that you were suspended. Was this suspension related to the "bullying" incident.... Or?

Did you receive warnings prior to the suspension?

Did your old NM ever counsel you on the same?

As nurses, we all certainly want to fully understand your situation. But it's hard to do so when there are things that are left unexplained.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
There will always be three sides to every workplace story in which termination has occurred: the embattled former employee's side, the former manager's side, and somewhere in the middle lies the truth.

There is ALWAYS 3 sides to a story. Somehow the truth is in them.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
You know darn well you said a whole lot more than "that's too bad" to be written up and fired.

Maybe it's the way they said it?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical care.
You know darn well you said a whole lot more than "that's too bad" to be written up and fired.

Not a fair assertion. There's not nearly enough certainty in the world to 100% negate the amount of unfair BS most of us have witnessed in our lives. Just watch the news.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment