I hope this topic helps me, along with other nurses stuck in the middle like myself.
So my background: I graduated nursing school in May 2017. I passed my NCLEX in July '17 and was hired right away onto a SICU at a level I trauma center/teaching hospital. I was miserable the first 4 or so months of my job, as I had very little confidence and had an incredibly patronizing preceptor. I thought I was an idiot and had no business being a nurse, much less an ICU nurse. However, by 6-7 months in, I started to gain some confidence and felt fulfilled through my job. I started on night shift with 6 other new grads, and I found many friendships at this jobs as we always had 8-9 workers at night. However, I was moving to South Carolina to live with my boyfriend I had met in college. I was very sad about leaving this job, but was hopeful for my future. I'd like to think of myself as very easy to get along with and likable.
I accepted a job at a very small hospital- 8 bed general ICU but a day shift position. This job was a nightmare. It was incredibly short staffed, I was floating to the floor (which I had no training on) constantly, and I felt my license was at stake. I also did not feel challenged enough on my nursing and critical thinking skills. This being said, I applied to a larger hospital in the city on a CVICU where I thought I would be a lot happier. It was night shift, but no weekends and I was going to have a higher base pay too. I also thought it would be a way to make new friendships as I hoped their would be other nurses close in age to me there as there weren't at the small hospital.
I started on this unit back in August (maybe 25th?), and right away was very intimidated by it. I quickly realized how completely different a surgical ICU is from a cardiovascular ICU. I had no knowledge about the heart, how to admit an open heart patient, and honestly all of my critical thinking skills were incredibly rusty from being away from the SICU for the past 4 months. My preceptor was very nice, but I began to hear word from other workers that she teaches her new hires basically nothing.
I was fairly content on day shift orienting, but as soon as I flipped to being off orientation onto night shift, my overall feelings completely changed. For one, there are maybe only 4-5 nurses on night shift as we usually only have 5 patients or less. They were never welcoming from the start. I don't mean to speak poorly of them, as they're nice enough, but they just did not go out of their way to befriend me despite my own efforts. As I previously stated, I was used to being surrounded by a bunch of other new grads and a large staff at night at my first job.
Secondly, they all have 2-5 years of CVICU experience, so I struggle a lot to relate to any of them. I constantly fear looking or sounding stupid as my concerns and questions are not ones they can relate to at this point in their nursing careers.
Third, I feel stupid ALL the time on this unit. It has been 6 months, and I feel as though I'm asking questions that the other staff feels I should know the answers to by now. I still struggle with my confidence on this floor greatly- a huge reason being that I learned by relying on paging a resident for every single problem I came across with a patient to now a non-teaching hospital where I have to rely on my own instinct and protocols to make incredibly important decisions.
Lastly, to make matters all the worse during my M-W shifts, I don't see my boyfriend at all. I understand why this may seem like a silly point to make- but I still have no close best friends in the area and he is my entire support system. So, basically, through each work week, we go until Thursday nights without contact except for quick 30 minute phone calls when I'm driving from and he's driving to work in the morning. With little support from my coworkers and little interaction with my best friend, I'm feeling so isolated and depressed at this new job.
Now with my background covered, I suppose my problem and question is has anyone else been past their 1 year mark in their nursing career and still struggled with confidence in their knowledge? I guess I justify it to myself constantly that I feel as though I started over completely in my nursing career when I started on a CVICU. We have to make so many critical decisions I never had to make on my own previously. I also am learning the body in totally different way of thinking, as I said before, knew nothing about the heart. I had felt incredibly confident at my last place of employment, so I just think the unit has something to do with it. I know I wanted to be challenged, but this is just depressing.
I constantly consider applying to a new job or returning to the job I was at before this current one. At least I was miserable with an incredibly supportive staff and saw my boyfriend. However, I am dying to just be somewhere for at least a year and I'd feel like I'm only complicating my critical thinking skills further if I leave after only 6 months at this place. That would be 8 months at one place, 3 months at another, and 6 months here. I should try to stick to something. But then I just think that maybe I am incapable of learning critical thinking and I should just apply for a slower paced job somewhere.
Salexandra, on a side topic, how the heck did you ever find a job that offered no weekends???? This is what I lay awake at night praying for haha....
On the main topic I am sorry that I cannot give you any advice as I myself am a brand new nurse, never worked in a hospital yet. Good luck to you and keep your head up even when times get hard.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
1 hour ago, brownbook said:
Yeah, no, you lost me at your reply too Ruby Vee.
"You are what’s wrong with the way nurses treat one another and I don’t need a lifetime of experience to see that. You could have easily been kind, but chose to be rude instead. I pity the struggling new nurses that are ever taken under your wing. " These are rude responses.
“You’re a dumb cry baby, your coworkers don’t have to be nice, shut up and get over it” were not in Ruby Vee's reply.
I have been reading Ruby Vee for ???? 10 years. She is one of my top favorite's on Allnurses.
These were the standouts for me, too. Also the belief that coworkers should be making more of an effort. Heck, maybe even they should. But whether they do or not is another thing.
This is the umpteenth thread where a new grad expressed having problems, got some advice (blunt and otherwise) and then blew up with anger and sarcasm. At least this one hasn't accused anyone of being jealous of her youth and good looks. So far.
I notice the usual crowd doesn't even bother to weigh in anymore. We've all been told too many times that we're all bitter and no one wants us for their nurse. Okay. Carry on. You do you.
My perspective as a new nurse is just as valuable as the perspective of a seasoned nurse but for different reasons. I can give my own constructive criticism of your all’s version of compassion. I can guarantee you if I asked any of my fellow new nurses if they found Ruby’s response helpful, I’d get an overwhelming “no”. New nurses do not benefit from the 1950’s pick yourself up by your bootstraps, suck it up bit. We’re usually millennials and we have a different way of thinking- learn to adapt to teaching them. They benefit from guidance, support, patience and constructive criticism. Of which I have received plenty enough to tell the difference between blunt and just plain rude/unhelpful.
I was planning a quick “hang in there!” reply until I saw the comments derail a little bit, lol. I actually do think Ruby gave great advice, not all of us millennials enjoy the newer way of approaching conflict or interpersonal issues. It’s hilarious because I actually was just commenting about this on a different thread. I had a totally old school upbringing, so I’ve learned to “suck it up” more often than not, and it was really hard for me to do because I struggled with being sensitive to criticism for a long time. I can definitely understand why you’d be upset at Ruby’s response because you’re right in that not everyone wants to hear things put that way. But, I think there is so much value in what she said.
My own personal reply to your OP is that I think you should give it more time at your job. You don’t want to be seen as a job hopper, and I actually think it’s too early to really tell whether you will be competent here. You are likely to feel upset again for the same or other reasons after making a change so soon.
I really feel for you about the tough schedule with your significant other and the social issues, I have been there at other jobs and it’s not easy, but I think you will fall in better if you just give it time. And if you don’t end up ever feeling comfortable, at least you stuck around to build skills and get a longer job stay on your resume. Good luck to you, I am also trying for my first job to be in ICU and am totally nervous to go through some of these same feelings, but we’re strong enough to get through it!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
11 hours ago, salexandra said:
Your advice is truly revolutionary. YOU are what’s wrong with the way nurses treat one another and I don’t need a lifetime of experience to see that.
It absolutely blows my mind that you chose to get on this post and those are the words you chose. You could have easily been kind, but chose to be rude instead.
I pity the struggling new nurses that are ever taken under your wing.
Thanks.
Thank you for your take.
It absolutely blows my mind that you chose to get on my post, and those are the words you chose. You could easily have chosen to be kind, but chose to be snarky instead. It rather invalidates your take, because if kindness is so much more important than honesty, you could have chosen to model kindness, but you did not.
The struggling new nurses that were once taken under my wing are now nurse practitioners, CRNAs, nurse leaders and lifelong friends. I don't think I've done so poorly as a preceptor and mentor.
Ruby can seem rough around the edges at times, but she is a fount of nursing advice. I think she gave you spot on advice here.
I've seen this before, btw, here at allnurses, women uprooting themselves to live with their boyfriends. Call me old fashioned, but I consider that highly unwise to do without the commitment of marriage. Take it from an older woman who has lived life, the contract of marriage is there to protect women and their future children. Don't sacrifice your security for a boyfriend.
OP, I'm sorry you didn't like Ruby Vee's advice. Sometimes we all need someone to be brutally honest and tell us the truth -- even if we are a millennial. You may not like hearing it the way she delivered it, but you are absolutely capable of taking it in, processing it, and using it for your betterment. You are tougher than you think or you wouldn't have made it through nursing school, three ICUs and a big move (in addition to whatever other challenges you have faced in your life so far). I get that your generation thrives on more sensitive guidance and mentoring (I think this speaks to a STRENGTH of your generation, in fact!), but there is also still room and need for some pullin' up of the bootstraps.
You need to stick it out in this CVICU (by the way -- you are in one of the BEST specialties, IMO) -- I agree giving yourself a full two years there is a very good idea. You might end up loving it and never leave. I'm a veteran nurse, but have experienced what you describe (unit culture-wise) with changes in specialty. It just take time. It really does. Keep asking questions, staying humble, honoring your co-workers for the knowledge they have that you don't yet. You will get there!
As for your personal life, you are young -- the challenges you are experiencing are very real, but not yet as big as what you will face down the road as you progress through life. Work through these challenges, find your support system, pray (if you do that). Also make a gratitude list. Sounds corny, but actually it's so good for you -- for anyone in any situation. Perspective is such a good teacher.
Is there any chance to get back on day shift at your current job? It sounds like you were okay there. This seems to solve the time issues with your boyfriend and the coworker issue. The confidence thing can come with time.
If not, what is the job market like where you are? Can you easily find a position offering the hours and environment you want?
I dont believe that the point about your boyfriend is silly. Most people need some close contact with others, and if this is a meaningful relationship, you do have to put time into it. Of course, also try to build other relationships.
It sounds like you really want to leave this job. You want a different environment and you want time with your boyfriend. If you decide to make the move, the only thing you can control is the schedule, to try to see your bf more often. The other things with the coworkers and job confidence cant really be guaranteed, so you may be in the same situation on a different job, but starting all over again.
Tough choice. If it were me, i would try to push for day shift at the current job.
I think you need to stick this out. You hardly have an ICU experience at all. Stay to get your 1 1/2 years experience, as of now, you only have at most 6 months of solid ICU experience. It takes time to get-it, fit in. Your work place does not have to be your social place. All workplaces have people you like and who are "mean". All of us have our own personalities and as long as people are respectful, that is as good as anything.
You have made some fairly big decisions, moving, working in three ICU's for short periods of time. You need time in one place to learn your skills, practice skills, ask questions. It is much safe to have experience RNs on the unit rather than several new grads who don't have the experience. be thankful that your coworkers all have years of experience, better than someone else in the same boat as you as new and inexperienced. Once you have a solid 2 years ICU experience, as in in one place two years, you will have a greater perspective.
I was planning a quick “hang in there!” reply until I saw the comments derail a little bit, lol. I actually do think Ruby gave great advice, not all of us millennials enjoy the newer way of approaching conflict or interpersonal issues. It’s hilarious because I actually was just commenting about this on a different thread. I had a totally old school upbringing, so I’ve learned to “suck it up” more often than not, and it was really hard for me to do because I struggled with being sensitive to criticism for a long time. I can definitely understand why you’d be upset at Ruby’s response because you’re right in that not everyone wants to hear things put that way. But, I think there is so much value in what she said.
My own personal reply to your OP is that I think you should give it more time at your job. You don’t want to be seen as a job hopper, and I actually think it’s too early to really tell whether you will be competent here. You are likely to feel upset again for the same or other reasons after making a change so soon.
I really feel for you about the tough schedule with your significant other and the social issues, I have been there at other jobs and it’s not easy, but I think you will fall in better if you just give it time. And if you don’t end up ever feeling comfortable, at least you stuck around to build skills and get a longer job stay on your resume. Good luck to you, I am also trying for my first job to be in ICU and am totally nervous to go through some of these same feelings, but we’re strong enough to get through it!
Thank you, I appreciate your thoughtful response. I understand that some people do learn that way, and perhaps welcome it, but not everyone does. I feel as though that came off as pretty clear through my post, the internal struggle and lack of confidence that I had. Again, I do agree she had valid points but I don’t appreciate them being put in a way that also knocks me down in the same breath. The things she said were things I already knew, I just needed words of encouragement or anecdotes.
Thank you, and good luck with your future in persuing ICU!! I really do love it overall, I think I’m just being clouded by other elements. Again, I appreciate the response.
OP, I'm sorry you didn't like Ruby Vee's advice. Sometimes we all need someone to be brutally honest and tell us the truth -- even if we are a millennial. You may not like hearing it the way she delivered it, but you are absolutely capable of taking it in, processing it, and using it for your betterment. You are tougher than you think or you wouldn't have made it through nursing school, three ICUs and a big move (in addition to whatever other challenges you have faced in your life so far). I get that your generation thrives on more sensitive guidance and mentoring (I think this speaks to a STRENGTH of your generation, in fact!), but there is also still room and need for some pullin' up of the bootstraps.
You need to stick it out in this CVICU (by the way -- you are in one of the BEST specialties, IMO) -- I agree giving yourself a full two years there is a very good idea. You might end up loving it and never leave. I'm a veteran nurse, but have experienced what you describe (unit culture-wise) with changes in specialty. It just take time. It really does. Keep asking questions, staying humble, honoring your co-workers for the knowledge they have that you don't yet. You will get there!
As for your personal life, you are young -- the challenges you are experiencing are very real, but not yet as big as what you will face down the road as you progress through life. Work through these challenges, find your support system, pray (if you do that). Also make a gratitude list. Sounds corny, but actually it's so good for you -- for anyone in any situation. Perspective is such a good teacher.
Best wishes!
Thank you so much!! This was very helpful. Again, I do agree there was very valid points to Ruby’s advice.
Aliens05, ASN
142 Posts
Salexandra, on a side topic, how the heck did you ever find a job that offered no weekends???? This is what I lay awake at night praying for haha....
On the main topic I am sorry that I cannot give you any advice as I myself am a brand new nurse, never worked in a hospital yet. Good luck to you and keep your head up even when times get hard.