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  1. I would never say that and 100% do not feel that way about the looks. Nothing to do with the job. I believe in solidarity of women and of nurses which is why hateful nurses bother me so much. I don’t see anything rude about my reaction to being told to suck it up, when quite clearly that is what I have literally been doing for 6 months now and will continue to do. Treating new nurses with little compassion and patience is indeed what is wrong with nursing culture. The very fact that you all do not think current employees should go out of their way to be kind and encouraging to new employees is so sad to hear. If you continue to get negative responses, maybe change the way you respond?
  2. Haha I got very lucky!! This hospital has so many weekend workers they don’t need us!
  3. Advice that you had given was incredibly valid, in fact parts of it made me feel better. But I don’t think I am being crazy or overly emotional by being hurt by the way it was expressed. I feel my original post already made it very obvious how low I felt. Like I said to Tricia, I found it hard to be inspired when I was being knocked down at the same time. Once again, I’ve heard constructive criticism: “You need to manage your time better, here’s what you’re doing wrong and this is what I do” vs. “I just cannot understand how you’re STILL not getting it? Of course you aren’t getting it!!” However I did react out of hurt, I am sorry. And the seasoned nurses of the world are a gift.
  4. Thank you so much!! This was very helpful. Again, I do agree there was very valid points to Ruby’s advice.
  5. Thank you, I appreciate your thoughtful response. I understand that some people do learn that way, and perhaps welcome it, but not everyone does. I feel as though that came off as pretty clear through my post, the internal struggle and lack of confidence that I had. Again, I do agree she had valid points but I don’t appreciate them being put in a way that also knocks me down in the same breath. The things she said were things I already knew, I just needed words of encouragement or anecdotes. Thank you, and good luck with your future in persuing ICU!! I really do love it overall, I think I’m just being clouded by other elements. Again, I appreciate the response.
  6. You’re absolutely right, blunt is not the same as rude. Constructive criticism, gee did not realize that “suck it up” was a form of constructive criticism. I’ll make sure to make note of that. Interesting how my concise, calm response is considered “lashing out”, yet Ruby’s elaborate “you’re a dumb cry baby, your coworkers don’t have to be nice, shut up and get over it” story was “constructive criticism”. Hospitals literally have retention and recruitment boards, of which the units are 100% supposed to be implementing. I’m not asking anyone to be my future brides maid, but coworkers should absolutely be making an effort to get to know you and creating a relationship with new employees. Coworkers, especially nurses of all careers, should be making sure their new employees like their jobs, enough to want to stay, and would recommend it to a fellow nurse. To dispute that and offer useless advice such as “your coworkers don’t have to be your friends, go make friends” is not blunt, it’s just plain ignorant. Imagine if that was the thought process managers had. No new grads would work for their units. I have absolutely every right to protect my license that I worked so hard for by leaving my previous place of employment- to call risking my license and endangering the lives of patients a form of “challenging my critical thinking” is SO absurd. That is a huge problem with nurses as whole- putting up with so much bs from companies who would throw you under the bus faster than you can say your name. If more nurses would get the balls and self worth to leave these terrible work environments more often, we’d probably get better treatment. But instead we tell each other to “suck it up.” I care deeply about human beings and I will not work for a place that subjects them to unsafe conditions. So sure, I suppose I did challenge my critical thinking skills at this place by coming to work every day wondering how to protect my patients from greedy hospitals and their lack of safe environments today. You must have empty, useless platitudes confused with good advice. Ruby simply had to say, “you’re problem is you’ve not stayed anywhere long enough to gain confidence, stick with this place. Good luck.” Or perhaps, her own new nurse story. Or better yet, maybe just not have said anything at all! Instead she went on a tangent about how she is so completely baffled by my moronic choices. While there was some good advice in that piece, it was so hard to find with all the patronizing cut downs thrown in. There were reasons for my choices, and I shouldn’t have to provide traumatic sob stories to elicit empathy from someone whose whole livelihood is based off of compassion. But I digress. My perspective as a new nurse is just as valuable as the perspective of a seasoned nurse but for different reasons. I can give my own constructive criticism of your all’s version of compassion. I can guarantee you if I asked any of my fellow new nurses if they found Ruby’s response helpful, I’d get an overwhelming “no”. New nurses do not benefit from the 1950’s pick yourself up by your bootstraps, suck it up bit. We’re usually millennials and we have a different way of thinking- learn to adapt to teaching them. They benefit from guidance, support, patience and constructive criticism. Of which I have received plenty enough to tell the difference between blunt and just plain rude/unhelpful. I’ve met many of the helpful veteran nurses and then I’ve met the Rubys of the workplace. I’ll choose the former as my best friend. But if we go off of Ruby’s logic, no one should be my best friend in the workplace. How absolutely disappointing to have received awesome advice from you, just for you to have turned around and defend the essence of where my struggles stem from. Nurses eat their young isn’t just a saying for fun. This was a wonderful example of that. Thank you.
  7. Thank you, this is more comforting than you’ll know.
  8. I hope this topic helps me, along with other nurses stuck in the middle like myself. So my background: I graduated nursing school in May 2017. I passed my NCLEX in July '17 and was hired right away onto a SICU at a level I trauma center/teaching hospital. I was miserable the first 4 or so months of my job, as I had very little confidence and had an incredibly patronizing preceptor. I thought I was an idiot and had no business being a nurse, much less an ICU nurse. However, by 6-7 months in, I started to gain some confidence and felt fulfilled through my job. I started on night shift with 6 other new grads, and I found many friendships at this jobs as we always had 8-9 workers at night. However, I was moving to South Carolina to live with my boyfriend I had met in college. I was very sad about leaving this job, but was hopeful for my future. I'd like to think of myself as very easy to get along with and likable. I accepted a job at a very small hospital- 8 bed general ICU but a day shift position. This job was a nightmare. It was incredibly short staffed, I was floating to the floor (which I had no training on) constantly, and I felt my license was at stake. I also did not feel challenged enough on my nursing and critical thinking skills. This being said, I applied to a larger hospital in the city on a CVICU where I thought I would be a lot happier. It was night shift, but no weekends and I was going to have a higher base pay too. I also thought it would be a way to make new friendships as I hoped their would be other nurses close in age to me there as there weren't at the small hospital. I started on this unit back in August (maybe 25th?), and right away was very intimidated by it. I quickly realized how completely different a surgical ICU is from a cardiovascular ICU. I had no knowledge about the heart, how to admit an open heart patient, and honestly all of my critical thinking skills were incredibly rusty from being away from the SICU for the past 4 months. My preceptor was very nice, but I began to hear word from other workers that she teaches her new hires basically nothing. I was fairly content on day shift orienting, but as soon as I flipped to being off orientation onto night shift, my overall feelings completely changed. For one, there are maybe only 4-5 nurses on night shift as we usually only have 5 patients or less. They were never welcoming from the start. I don't mean to speak poorly of them, as they're nice enough, but they just did not go out of their way to befriend me despite my own efforts. As I previously stated, I was used to being surrounded by a bunch of other new grads and a large staff at night at my first job. Secondly, they all have 2-5 years of CVICU experience, so I struggle a lot to relate to any of them. I constantly fear looking or sounding stupid as my concerns and questions are not ones they can relate to at this point in their nursing careers. Third, I feel stupid ALL the time on this unit. It has been 6 months, and I feel as though I'm asking questions that the other staff feels I should know the answers to by now. I still struggle with my confidence on this floor greatly- a huge reason being that I learned by relying on paging a resident for every single problem I came across with a patient to now a non-teaching hospital where I have to rely on my own instinct and protocols to make incredibly important decisions. Lastly, to make matters all the worse during my M-W shifts, I don't see my boyfriend at all. I understand why this may seem like a silly point to make- but I still have no close best friends in the area and he is my entire support system. So, basically, through each work week, we go until Thursday nights without contact except for quick 30 minute phone calls when I'm driving from and he's driving to work in the morning. With little support from my coworkers and little interaction with my best friend, I'm feeling so isolated and depressed at this new job. Now with my background covered, I suppose my problem and question is has anyone else been past their 1 year mark in their nursing career and still struggled with confidence in their knowledge? I guess I justify it to myself constantly that I feel as though I started over completely in my nursing career when I started on a CVICU. We have to make so many critical decisions I never had to make on my own previously. I also am learning the body in totally different way of thinking, as I said before, knew nothing about the heart. I had felt incredibly confident at my last place of employment, so I just think the unit has something to do with it. I know I wanted to be challenged, but this is just depressing. I constantly consider applying to a new job or returning to the job I was at before this current one. At least I was miserable with an incredibly supportive staff and saw my boyfriend. However, I am dying to just be somewhere for at least a year and I'd feel like I'm only complicating my critical thinking skills further if I leave after only 6 months at this place. That would be 8 months at one place, 3 months at another, and 6 months here. I should try to stick to something. But then I just think that maybe I am incapable of learning critical thinking and I should just apply for a slower paced job somewhere. Can anyone out there relate? Please say yes.