A thread for Indian men of descent regarding their children

Prayers said Thunderwolf.

Teenagers are hard. My mother didn't turn gray until I turned 17 and dated the wrong guy - drugs, beatings, etc. We got in a big fight and didn't speak for almost 6 months. I married the idiot, and learned real quick I screwed up and got an annulment. This doesn't really compare to your dd wanting an expensive camera but I think it helps understand teenagers. We patched things up, we don't speak of that period of time. We're not super close but that's the way I want it, not her.

How often do you see your girls? Maybe she felt that if she doesn't see you often she can then buy your love and if you didn't purchase that outrageously expensive camera then you don't love her - which I don't think is the case at all. But teenagers, girls especially think differently than boys and are much more sensitive.

What does their mother say about all this? I would hate to see your relationship ruined with your dd over a camera.

There was a story in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book that reminds me of your post. The story was that this boy was graduating hs and it was customary in his town and school that upon graduation you received a car. On graduation day, this boy's father hands him a bible. The boy gets very upset and stomps out of the house never to be seen or heard from again. Years later his father dies and as this boy (now a man) is going through his father's belongings he comes across the bible. Inside the bible is a check large enough to buy a car. The check was stuck between pages with important biblical passages but I don't remember which ones they were.

I would really hate to see your daughter as that boy. Don't give up on calling. Don't lose contact with her.

Sometimes kids don't think to where money comes from. I am sure things will settle and your daughter returns to you. ((((hugs))))

Thunderwolf, you are definatly in my prayers. That is so hard to go through.

Being a good parent doesn't mean that you buckle in to her will when this happens. You have nothing to be ashamed about. It kills me when parents buy anything their child wants with no regard for how much. The kids come to expect it and become spoiled rotten.

Would your exwife let you just come over at any time to talk to her? That way you don't let her off the hook by having her call you back when she feels like it. Confront her and get it out of the way.

Good job by the way Dad!

Thunderwolf, I nixed the $800 Canon myself because it was really too much camera for my purposes.

Is your daughter going to be a photographer? Maybe then I'd consider it for my teenager, but only if he'd shown an interest in photography for a number of years.

If my kid wanted the $800 camera just for bragging rights, the answer would have to be no.

Even so, a $600 camera is nothing to sneeze at. (I'm quite happy with my $350 one.)

You might feel badly because of some of the things you said, but teenagers sure do know how to push those buttons. Just be patient and keep in touch anyway. Eventually she'll come around. Maybe it'll take awhile, but at some point, in her heart of hearts, she'll know that she contributed to the argument and she'll know that she still loves you very much, despite the fact that you and your ex had to split.

I hope the problem will be resolved between you both soon.

Raising up teenagers is tough and isn't for the fainthearted. Kudos to you, Thunderwolf, for wanting to be such a caring and involved father - This is such a rarity nowadays. I am sending prayers your way for reconciliation and healing of your wounded souls.

thunderwolf my prayers are with you. teenagers are very hard to work with. i know i had my share of troubles. she will come around again and talk to you. i know she will. you sound like a wonderful dad and she is lucky to have you. it wil be okay. please keep us posted.

I am afraid I would be a little harsh on your daughter. She needs to be taught while she is still young. She is manipulating you. I will pray for her. I knew a friend of a friend and we clicked together in our late 20's. She was Hispanic and lived with sweet rather poor parents in South Texas. She lived with her parents who refused to have air conditioning in their part of the house. They slept on the floor because that is how they grew up and were comfortable with it. Her mother wore peasant dresses and was an extremely humble,generous, full of personal integrity, and hospitable. HER daughter was the exact opposite. She was rude to her parents and openly TRIED to shamed them about their lifestyle and the beat up car they drove.(worked just fine). This friend would barrow money and never return it. She would steal and and feel entitled to it. She used old men as sugar daddies to get expensive possessions. She lastly married a foreigner for $2000 to give him legal citizenship. She took money from his overseas family to help with the paperwork for citizenship and used it to buy cable TV and groceries with NO remorse.She lived behind a thick wall of denial to her moral falts. She saw nothing wrong with how she treated her parents or the people she encountered. Her mother and father I believe kept to their old ways and old car to teach her what was important. Even she knew they had the money for better things and she would just fume about it. I am not saying your daughter would be like this, but the fact that you feel guilty and she does not is something that NEEDS to be reversed. She is 16, she is testing waters, she can get a job for that camera. Sorry so harsh...don't flame. I am concerned too.

Wolfie--I have no children nor advice but wanted to offer my prayers and a (((hug)))