Need shoulders to cry on, classmate killed in MVA

Nurses LPN/LVN

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I'm sure you all know that I have been posting my experiences about starting LPN school on this site. However, today was just an awful day and I really could use some shoulders to cry on.

It turns out, yesterday after we left school, my fellow classmate was killed in a car accident on her way home. Although we only met back in November, she and I really had a great friendship going. I guess you could say we were "lab" partners since we sat together during class everyday.

I didn't hear about her accident until I got to school this morning. I had to leave class at noon because I just couldn't handle sitting in class anymore with "my friend" not next to me.

To be honest, I'm considering not going back to school next week. I'm so afraid to drive that I had to have my husband come and get me at school and bring me home. Although I just started this program, I feel like I can't do it without my friend who just died. To top it off, she was only 31 (like me) and had three children and a husband at home.

I'm sorry if this post is rambling or has misspellings. I'm really in a terrible state of mind right now.

--Marci

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

((Marci)) I am so sorry. Please take a deep breath and do whatever you have to do to get yourself back in class. You can do this and while I can't speak for anyone but myself if you were one of my friends I would be horrified to think that you didn't go on with school because I couldn't be there in body.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Oh Marci - I am so very sorry. How tragic. Don't make big decisions right now - give yourself time to grieve and keep going to school for today. It sounds like you had a very special friend and its totally fine to be very sad about it. Sometimes, though, acute grief can cause us to make quick decisions that when we think them out, turn out to not be the best decision. Take care.

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Big hugs to you. I have lost several friends to MVA's and I totally understand your fear of driving.

Most importantly, I would pretty much bet anything I had that your friend would be so upset knowing that you quit school because of her death.

Honor her by plodding on and getting your nursing license! THAT would be the biggest honor you could give her. And when the end of nursing school comes, you can be assured, that SHE was right there with you each and every day, sitting through class with you, although you won't see her, you will certainly feel her presence. She'll be the one who silently pushes you on each and every day.

So very sorry to hear of her passing. Its never easy when some passes, its even harder when it was unexpected and they were so young with so much life left to live.

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Specializes in Peds, Med-Surg, Disaster Nsg, Parish Nsg.

Oh Marci. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock for you. You need to take some time for yourself. Does your school provide any grief counseling? Many times schools do offer such counseling when a student is killed/dies. I'm sure there are others in your class that could benefit from this as well.

It is very hard to deal with a tragedy such as this. My daughter was in a terrible wreck a few years ago when she was a freshman. Her roommate was killed. It was a terrible thing for her to go through.

If you'd care to talk more about this, feel free to pm me.

God bless you, your family, and the family of your friend.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. It makes us think of our own mortality, and makes us see that tomorrow is not promised. I do ask, though, that you continue with your classes. As others have said, I am sure that your friend would hate to see that her death kept you from your own goals. Completing this program will increase your earning potential and opportunities for you and your family. It may sound a bit cold, but life goes on, there will still be bills even after this. While this is certainly devastating, at this moment, your personal situation (meaning your health, your family, etc...) may be stable, meaning that maybe you can continue with school. You never know what other circumstances may prevent you from finishing further down the road.

I will keep you in my meditations at this time, and I wish you receive the comfort and support that you need at this time as well.

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So shocking to lose someone so suddenly, my condolences. How awful for her family. Goes to show that one must live every day as if it would be their last.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Here's a hug. (((hug))) :icon_hug: I'm sorry that you've experienced this tragic loss.

You must continue with your schooling, regardless of the profoundly sorrowful circumstances. I'm assured that your deceased classmate would have been disappointed if you didn't finish.

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Marci im sorri for your loss but i think she'd want you to finish your schooling. i know its gonna be hard in class knowing shes not there with you but shes in a better place. we cant control god's plan for us, but all we can do is live life to the fullest. may be it would help if you took a couple days off if your school permits and just think of happier times you had with her and know that she'd want you to finish your schooling no matter what. i hope this helps. take care

jen

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My condolences on the passing of your friend and classmate. Your post brings to mind something tragic that occured when I was in nursing school. A young lady that was a couple of semesters behind me was stabbed repeatedly and left to die in her car by her spouse. It was very sad and surreal that this young woman was all of a sudden gone. I tell you this because her classmates sold ribbons for a dollar and gave the money to help pay for funeral expenses and at graduation her children were given over seven hundred dollars. You should think about doing something like this. One more thing, always remember your friend and don't let anything get in your way of finishing your education, even as hardships and tragedies occur. God bless.:saint::icon_hug::grad::dncgcpd:

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Specializes in ER, PACU, Med-Surg, Hospice, LTC.

How sad.:o

It is always very difficult to face these tragic events, especially when it has been someone close to you.

Sounds as though your Husband is a good support system for you and remember, we are always here! Do you have any other people in your class that you can meet with to talk to? How about a school counselor?

I agree with the others to stay in school. Your friend would want that and she will be so proud of you when all of your hard work pays off.

Maybe you can say something in memory of her at Graduation? It would be nice and I am sure her family would appreciate it.

Again, sorry for your loss and having to struggle through this difficult time.

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Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.

So sorry to hear of this tragedy for you and your friends family. Please get back in your car and drive; and try to stay in school. the sooner you go back to studying the less difficult it will be. let your classmates be your support. How about starting a scholarship to NS in her name? YOu would feel like you were doing something positive, and someone else would benefit as well. Will keep you and her family in my thoughts and prayers. Mary

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