Need shoulders to cry on, classmate killed in MVA

emndarmic · Jan 26, 2008

I am so sorry for your loss as well. I had to go through this right out of high school. My best friend whom I talked to on a DAILY basis for hours on the phone was killed while out with the guys (my best friend was a guy) they were out doing guy things late one Saturday night. I got the phone call and literally threw up because I cried so much. The pain does go away but I can still (17 yrs later) hear his voice in my head if I listen real close, so my point is, give yourself time to grieve and attend her funeral if possible and just talk to her, might sound crazy but talk to her and tell her that you need her help to get through these classes w/out her and that you want to continue on for her as well as yourself/family. Your seat may need to be changed at least for awhile, if your instructor is a good one, he/she will understand.

Good luck and your in my prayers.

emndarmic · Jan 26, 2008

I forgot to say too, my husband just lost one of his co-workers from a MVA this week too. The man worked the 2-10 shift and my husband came in at 10:00pm so he relieved him daily for the last 3 yrs. It was also a total blow to him so his thoughts are with you as well. This man was married in 1977 so he's had MANY years with his wife, he was re-united with his 4 children is how the newspaper put it (they had 4 miscarriages and never could carry to term) so now she's left with only memories. Please everyone keep this lady in your prayers as well. Thanks.

L&D_2b · Jan 27, 2008

I forgot to say too, my husband just lost one of his co-workers from a MVA this week too. The man worked the 2-10 shift and my husband came in at 10:00pm so he relieved him daily for the last 3 yrs. It was also a total blow to him so his thoughts are with you as well. This man was married in 1977 so he's had MANY years with his wife, he was re-united with his 4 children is how the newspaper put it (they had 4 miscarriages and never could carry to term) so now she's left with only memories. Please everyone keep this lady in your prayers as well. Thanks.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's co-worker. I certainly will keep his wife in my prayers.

Thank you so much for all of the words of encouragement. I did ask my instructor to change my seat. It's not that I'm trying to forgot my friend by changing seats, it's that I don't think I can heal and move on if I don't. I need a fresh start.

Again, thanks so much for responding. I certainly appreciate it.

--Marci

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Jan 27, 2008

Marci, I cannot even begin to know how you feel. How sad for her family, husband and children. She will still be with you in spirit and will look out for you. Make her proud. So glad to hear that you've asked the instuctor to change your seat. That's a great beginning on your part.

My LPN instructor died of CA and to this day (32+ yrs later) I often think of her and how she encouraged me and very occasionally when I'm tempted not to do my very best, I think "no" I can't let her down. I continue to strive to make her proud of me. God Bless you hon

(((((((Marci)))))))

scallywags · Jan 27, 2008

Oh my goodness, what a horrible tragedy. I am so sorry for your loss and for your friend's family. I know how difficult this is for you and how hard it is for you to compose yourself and face the challenges that are ahead of you.

I really feel you should continue your schooling. Do it for her, do it for yourself. She wouldn't want you to put your dreams on hold. She would want you to achieve something you started together with her.

I hope you will find peace in knowing your friend is in a better place and in the memories of your time together.

flightnurse2b, LPN · Jan 27, 2008

marci,

i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and classmate. i will keep you in my prayers. but never give up on your dreams, girl. allow yourself time to grieve, but also allow yourself to keep on your path and succeed. do it for yourself, and do it in honor of your dear friend. as your continue in your education, hold tight to that dream and think of your friend as your angel on your shoulder cheering for you. remember her fondly at graduation, and the day you kick that NCLEX in the butt, know that she is there with you, and she is proud of you.

i lost my high school sweetheart in an MVA and it was the most difficult thing i have ever been though. i went through a time where i didn't want to get out of bed, shower, eat..nevermind go to class. i flunked out of nursing school that semester and thought about giving up all together. i was stuck, and i had given up being a field medic because dealing with MVA's was too hard for me. i would cry and see his face in every call we responded to. i got a phone call from his mother who asked me how school was, and when i told her i had dropped out, she said "allison, your dream is to be a trauma nurse. i know james didn't make it. but save the lives that you can in honor of him. bring someone back their son or their boyfriend. he'll be there with you."

i enrolled in school again and i am set to graduate in october. anyway, please allow yourself time to grieve during this difficult time. find strength in your classmates, your family, and with your family here at allnurses. do something therapeutic for yourself. and maybe organize something in honor of her with your class, like planting a tree at the school in her honor, wearing a pin with her picture at graduation, etc. it takes a very long time after such a tragic death to be yourself again. don't be afraid to cry and don't be ashamed to say you need to move your seat or excuse yourself from class if it's too much at the time.

don't give up girl. we're all behind you, cheering for you, and so is your friend.

wishing you peace, strength and hope during this difficult time. please don't hesitate to PM me if you ever need a friend.

alli

akcarmean, LPN · Jan 27, 2008

There have been so much good advice.

I can't think of to much more to add except please stay in school. I am sure your friend would have wanted that. I can almost bet she will be right beside you the whole way.

:icon_hug: You will be in my thoughts and prayers

please keep us posted

akcarmean, LPN · Jan 27, 2008

i forgot to say too, my husband just lost one of his co-workers from a mva this week too. the man worked the 2-10 shift and my husband came in at 10:00pm so he relieved him daily for the last 3 yrs. it was also a total blow to him so his thoughts are with you as well. this man was married in 1977 so he's had many years with his wife, he was re-united with his 4 children is how the newspaper put it (they had 4 miscarriages and never could carry to term) so now she's left with only memories. please everyone keep this lady in your prayers as well. thanks.

i will keep your husband and his co-workers wife in my prayers

jeanLPN · Jan 29, 2008

I'm sure you all know that I have been posting my experiences about starting LPN school on this site. However, today was just an awful day and I really could use some shoulders to cry on.
It turns out, yesterday after we left school, my fellow classmate was killed in a car accident on her way home. Although we only met back in November, she and I really had a great friendship going. I guess you could say we were "lab" partners since we sat together during class everyday.
I didn't hear about her accident until I got to school this morning. I had to leave class at noon because I just couldn't handle sitting in class anymore with "my friend" not next to me.
To be honest, I'm considering not going back to school next week. I'm so afraid to drive that I had to have my husband come and get me at school and bring me home. Although I just started this program, I feel like I can't do it without my friend who just died. To top it off, she was only 31 (like me) and had three children and a husband at home.
I'm sorry if this post is rambling or has misspellings. I'm really in a terrible state of mind right now.
--Marci

I am truly sorry to hear about your tragegy in your class.... I remember when i was in nursing school you tend to bond with your classmates.. being that you will be with them everyday.... I know you are shakin up right now ... but for your future you should not stop school... I know your friend will not want that from you..... When i was in school or class went through alot of tradegy also.... But the most terrible one was one of my fellow classmate mother got stroke down by a car and killed. We were all shoke up about the tradegy... but the most important thing was the classmate did not drop out of school... She took off some days.. but she graduated and passed her boards.... And I know her mother was watching over her... So just alittle advice.... DON'T GIVE UP!!! And your friend is watching over you!!! GOD BLESS