Is my husband being unreasonable? - page 2

by Nurse ABC

8,371 Views | 67 Comments

I currently work a med-surg position that is 12 hour days with no weekends. We all know how hard and challenging med-surg is and I have no great love for it. In fact when my required six months is up I'm looking to change to a... Read More


  1. 0
    I don't know. i stayed by myself as a 10 year old.This wasn't a super safe community either. Many 18 year olds are out on their own with thier own children. However, I think if I were a parent I wouldn't let my young children stay home alone. Since you mentioned giving up 10 years of your career to stay at home............. this is one of the reasons I would want to stay single forever, although I am not on the no kids wagon yet. You also mentioned working only 2 days a week, right? Could you look for a part time job in another specialty that would be just days or evenings? This varies hugely, but where I work straight days/evenings is easier to come by then straight nights . Rotating is the most common by far.
  2. 1
    Quote from GrnTea
    At 11 I was babysitting my younger siblings; at 14 I was babysitting overnight for other people's kids.
    Same here. I don't think it's a big deal to let them stay home alone. In fact when I was 11 we had a nosy neighbor that called the cops on everyone for everything, so my mother actually called the police and asked them if she could get in trouble for that and they said no.

    Maybe your husband just doesn't want you taking the job for some other reason?
    multi10 likes this.
  3. 2
    Mine were home alone at night when they were 11 & 12.
    I agree that maybe your hubby could try to be more flexible. You shouldn't have to do all the accommodating.
    multi10 and nrsang97 like this.
  4. 4
    When I was 8 I walked home from school alone and hung out alone until my mom came home. Would I be comfortable today leaving an 8 year old home alone? Not really. It also used to be a standard expectation that older children would participate in child care and pull their weight in the functioning of the household. But child rearing and intensity of family commitment change over time, so I'm not sure past traditions are useful in deciding how to parent and raise your kids now.

    That being said...have you talked to the 18 year old about being the responsible adult overnights? Maybe a paid gig as babysitter would work out well with school life next year.
    wooh, tnmarie, opossum, and 1 other like this.
  5. 1
    We started leaving ours home alone for the weekend (Fri-Sat) when they were 15 and 17. Are they responsible kids? Do you have neighbors close by that they could go to if there was an emergency? Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it.
    nrsang97 likes this.
  6. 0
    I agree that you shouldn't have to do all the accomodating/scaraficing. You both need to sit down and talk about this. I agree that the kids are old enough to be home by themselves.

    The 18 y/o would like the extra cash to help out on the nights you both have to work. Good luck.
  7. 5
    You've been in med/surg for just six months. The manager who took a chance on you and hired you deserves at least a year of your time once you're off orientation. It's not a matter of how old your kids are, how responsible or whether or not your husband is being unreasonable. YOU owe your employer a year. At the very least.
    imintrouble, cardiacrocks, Meriwhen, and 2 others like this.
  8. 4
    I'm with GrnTea on this one: in the 90s I was a teenager, and my older sister and I were left to babysit the younger two siblings when my parents worked by age 12. We still managed to work jobs when old enough, have social lives, and do lots of extracurricular activities. No one died; we were trained in CPR and Safesitter practices, and even swam in the backyard pool on our own without parental supervision. We also cooked our own dinners, did basic chores, and were fairly independent by the time we left the house.

    Being left overnight: not a big deal.
  9. 0
    I wasa Latch key kid since 8 , baby sitter since 10 I helped my mom give birth at 14, and have played Mommy Jr. since then. A great perk to having children is home-made baby sitting! Of course every parent is different, and some parents want kids to be kids while other parents require their children to have responsibilities and be independent. I don't personally see an issue with leaving the little ones with the 18 year old if you should ever have to work the same night as your husband, and with you only working 2 days a week, why can't you work around each others schedules?
  10. 5
    Those kids are fine on their own. Independence breeds confidence, confidence leads to success. Have ground rules set up, security measures in place (phones, alarms, neighbors on watch, and even webcams are super cheap and easy to set up now). You husband can't be so overprotective or old fashioned. And, if he's so worried about them being alone, have him ask his cop buddies to roll by the house a few times a shift. Jeez.
    metal_m0nk, multi10, erin527RN, and 2 others like this.


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