How would you have handled this????

[duckie]

I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me in my 21 years of nursing and I pray that even though I was very angry inside that I handled it right. Please note right up front this is not meant to start a war here or another LPN vs. RN debate. Actually I feel many of you RN's will be a little ticked off too. For those of you that don't know me, I work LTC, by my choice, did hospital and it wasn't what made me happy. I have been a charge nurse for 11 years so far. I have this very dear and wonderful couple on my unit. I love them dearly and we have wonderful talks and are very close. Their daughter came to visit them today and the following happened. When I entered the room to give them their meds, the male resident introduced me to his family as the charge nurse. He also told me that his daughter was a nurse. With no further converstaion, she informed me that she felt no one below a BSN should be allowed to be a nurse for they just weren't qualified nor did they have the knowledge needed to properly care for a resident. I assume since I was introduced as the charge nurse, she thought I was an RN. Then she asked what my level of degee was??? I told her I was an LPN. She said, "Well that just isn't right!" To say I was taken aback is an understatement. Inside I started getting very angry. That is a hell of a statement to make. Not all RN's hold a BSN, they are very much worth something but after she found out I was ONLY an LPN, she did her best to try and get me to mouth off to her. I told her the following statement. I said, "In this facility, my duties are the same as the RN's. All of our current house supervisors are LPN's and the only RN in authority is our DON, which we all answer to equally, RN and LPN's alike. I am considered the charge nurse on this unit, even when an RN is working the other end. I do what is in my job description and I have never had a complaint lodged against me. I stated that I fully agreed that if I were working in a hospital, I would not hold the title I hold here, but this is my chosen field and I enjoy what I do. I am sorry if you do not feel I am qualified to do this job and I would be more than happy to call my DON for you to speak with if it would make you feel better." She then asked, "Well why don't you get your RN degree?" I answered frankly, "Because I plan to work here for some time to come, I am happy with what I do and I have no desire to do so." She really seemed to be trying to start an out and out arguement with me. I smiked at her, said it was nice meeting you, told my residents I'd be back later and to have a nice visit. Then I went into the bathroom and seethed almost to the point of crying, which is what I do when I get mad, but then I said....NOPE!!!!! ain't gonna do it and went on with my job. I have to be honest and tell you there was a million things I wanted to say to her, specifically that if her parents coded, their life would be in MY hands, and that we didn't even have an RN on our shift with her BSN but I tried very hard to smile, keep my mouth shut and just get out of there. Anyhow, later, I went back to their room to give them more meds. The male resident took my hands, with tears in his eyes and said, "Honey, I'd give anything if my daughter hadn't spoken to you like that. You are a wonderful nurse and I feel very blessed that my life is in your hands because I see the kind of nurse you are and I trust you completely." I told him not to worry about it, that she is very much entitled to her opinion and told him he would always be my buddy, nothing would change that." (We call each other Buddy) I have been posting here for quite some time and I have to say that while a few RN's may hve problems with LPN's in certain settings, none of you have ever spoken like this and I just want to know, how would you have handled it? I honestly don't know if I did the right thing or not. She did not shake my confidence in my ability, if that was her goal, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why a complete stranger would light into me like that, for no reason. Maybe if there had been some sort of converstaion leading up to it but I swear to you, all that was said between us was what I have told you. I am still floored by this and I am honest when I say, she made me angry, which is pretty darned hard to do. I would really appreciate some feedback on this to help me get a grip on my emotions.

[shay]

Duckie, you handled yourself beautifully. That woman was just a total b****. She obviously has issues of her own...geez.

I don't know if I could've handled myself like that. I probably would've started shaking w/anger and politely excused myself.

Goofball, your MIL is jealous of you...that's SOOOOOOOO obvious. Just keep ignoring her and don't let her get you down.

Duckie, this RN BSN does not share that woman's opinion at all, and is embarassed by her behavior. We are all nurses, we all care for our patients, and should be judged by our ability to give safe loving care, not by the degree we hold. You should be proud of yourself by how well you handled such an awkward and toxic situation. And you should be even more proud that the opinions of those that really count--your 'buddy' and his wife'--are in high praise of you and your care.

Rock on, sister.

[live4today, RN]

Originally posted by TracyB,RN

Duckie, ...And please, NEVER think of yourself as "only an LPN" LPN's contribute SOOOO much to nursing & don't ever feel like you have to justify your choices to anyone. You are good at what you do & we will leave it at that :) :) :) :).

_________________________________________

Ditto, TracyB,RN! LPNs do "rock" and should not feel like they have to justify their choice to be a LPN to anyone. They are good at what they do, and no one can or should disagree with that - IMHO!

[PhantomRN]

Ditto.......Duckie............you handled yourself wonderfully.

You were very professional. The fool stuck her foot in her mouth by assuming because you are charge you are also a BSN. Then tried to cover up her mistake by getting angry.

She is obviously NOT in the know as to how things work in LTC. You think she would be since, she is trusting the care of both of her parents to a LTC facility. [this lady needs some education]

[layna]

I think that you did a beautiful job handling it. You kept your composure and behaved professionally. I'll bet you would have loved to have reamed her out, but you kept your cool and your dignity. That daughter did a fine job of making herself look like a fool in front of you and her father. Too bad. Her negative and rude behavior upset her Dad. Shame on her for trying to instill doubt in his mind regarding the care he is receiving. Obviously, she was acting selfishly as a result of her own inadequacies.

[kids]

You are a much better persn than I am...I'd a decked the b***h, kicked her after she hit the floor and gotten fired.

I'm really sorry you got treated like crap.

-nancy

[duckie]

I have to say once again, you all are the best!!!!! I am feeling so much better today, mostly because of your support and I had a talk with my direct supervisor also. I don't know what her motives were and I wasn't taking any chances that my supervisor didn't know my side of it. The funny thing is, the daughter was in today and never even acted like I was in the room. Maybe she don't like my looks......well that's her problem cause I happen to be cute as a bug! Just kidding, not that stuck on myself, just trying to let go of my anger towards her. I do understand it is hard placing your loved ones in the hands of strangers but if the BSN thing was that big of an issue to her, she should have inquired about it before the residents were placed in our facility. I'll just keep smiling and let God take care of her 'tude! That's His job, not mine! Thanks everyone, I REALLY appreciate your thoughtfulness. You know, I have tried to place this woman in the role I am in everyday. I remember one lady that was so scared she cried all the time. I was having a good night with no emergencies, so I just crawled into her bed, put my arms around her and sang to her for a good 15 minutes, until she went to sleep. When I tried to picture this lady doing this, I could not. So, I am where I am supposed to be and she is where she is supposed to be. I may not have an abundance of education, but I do have heart! Hugs to you all, you're great!!!!!

[fergus51]

Education without heart is useless Duckie. I love LTC nurses and think that is one of the noblest, most challenging jobs in nursing. The RNs and LPNs I worked with in longterm care as a student were awesome and I thought it was really beautiful how they were willing to get involved on a personal level with their residents. It seemed like a family and I think that's really neat.

[night owl]

sherry, that's exactly what i was thinking, if she is so wonderful with her bsn, she should have had enough sense to inquire a whole lot more about staffing and their credentials. she sure doesn't seem to know too much about ltc now does she??? well good luck to you with her and let us know if her behavior improves or deteriorates 'cuz inquiring minds want to know...

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

The daughter obviously has her own issues, probably have nothing to do with you or even the RN BSN issue. I hope that if I am ever so far out in left field I have someone polite but assertive (like you) to bring me back to reality.

[cmggriff]

Duckie,

You rule, girlfriend. I think I would have pursued the hit and kick her path like like Nancy. As always good breeding shows. Gary

[RNforLongTime]

Duckie,

Sounds to me like you handled the situation perfectly. Personally, I don't know if I could have been so dignified in MY response had I been in your shoes.

This woman is a poor excuse for a nurse and I bet her father your BUDDY was ashamed to be her father when she talked to you that way.

[eldernurse]

I am an RN with a BSN and I would never presume to know what is right for a fellow nurse in the medical field. I guess getting a BSN doesn't mean you have manners. Just because you can do well in class does not mean that you can give compassionate care on the job. That mean daughter could learn a few lessons in caring from this hard-working care-giver.