How would you have handled this????

[duckie]

I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me in my 21 years of nursing and I pray that even though I was very angry inside that I handled it right. Please note right up front this is not meant to start a war here or another LPN vs. RN debate. Actually I feel many of you RN's will be a little ticked off too. For those of you that don't know me, I work LTC, by my choice, did hospital and it wasn't what made me happy. I have been a charge nurse for 11 years so far. I have this very dear and wonderful couple on my unit. I love them dearly and we have wonderful talks and are very close. Their daughter came to visit them today and the following happened. When I entered the room to give them their meds, the male resident introduced me to his family as the charge nurse. He also told me that his daughter was a nurse. With no further converstaion, she informed me that she felt no one below a BSN should be allowed to be a nurse for they just weren't qualified nor did they have the knowledge needed to properly care for a resident. I assume since I was introduced as the charge nurse, she thought I was an RN. Then she asked what my level of degee was??? I told her I was an LPN. She said, "Well that just isn't right!" To say I was taken aback is an understatement. Inside I started getting very angry. That is a hell of a statement to make. Not all RN's hold a BSN, they are very much worth something but after she found out I was ONLY an LPN, she did her best to try and get me to mouth off to her. I told her the following statement. I said, "In this facility, my duties are the same as the RN's. All of our current house supervisors are LPN's and the only RN in authority is our DON, which we all answer to equally, RN and LPN's alike. I am considered the charge nurse on this unit, even when an RN is working the other end. I do what is in my job description and I have never had a complaint lodged against me. I stated that I fully agreed that if I were working in a hospital, I would not hold the title I hold here, but this is my chosen field and I enjoy what I do. I am sorry if you do not feel I am qualified to do this job and I would be more than happy to call my DON for you to speak with if it would make you feel better." She then asked, "Well why don't you get your RN degree?" I answered frankly, "Because I plan to work here for some time to come, I am happy with what I do and I have no desire to do so." She really seemed to be trying to start an out and out arguement with me. I smiked at her, said it was nice meeting you, told my residents I'd be back later and to have a nice visit. Then I went into the bathroom and seethed almost to the point of crying, which is what I do when I get mad, but then I said....NOPE!!!!! ain't gonna do it and went on with my job. I have to be honest and tell you there was a million things I wanted to say to her, specifically that if her parents coded, their life would be in MY hands, and that we didn't even have an RN on our shift with her BSN but I tried very hard to smile, keep my mouth shut and just get out of there. Anyhow, later, I went back to their room to give them more meds. The male resident took my hands, with tears in his eyes and said, "Honey, I'd give anything if my daughter hadn't spoken to you like that. You are a wonderful nurse and I feel very blessed that my life is in your hands because I see the kind of nurse you are and I trust you completely." I told him not to worry about it, that she is very much entitled to her opinion and told him he would always be my buddy, nothing would change that." (We call each other Buddy) I have been posting here for quite some time and I have to say that while a few RN's may hve problems with LPN's in certain settings, none of you have ever spoken like this and I just want to know, how would you have handled it? I honestly don't know if I did the right thing or not. She did not shake my confidence in my ability, if that was her goal, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why a complete stranger would light into me like that, for no reason. Maybe if there had been some sort of converstaion leading up to it but I swear to you, all that was said between us was what I have told you. I am still floored by this and I am honest when I say, she made me angry, which is pretty darned hard to do. I would really appreciate some feedback on this to help me get a grip on my emotions.

[SKM-NURSIEPOOH, BSN, RN]

Originally posted by RNPD

PS: Thank you SKM-NURSIEPOOH. This thread was heartwarming and did me a lot of good. It was wonderful to see how all types of nurses, and even non-nurses came to this LPN's defense with encouraging and kind words. THAT is how our profession should always be-caring and supportive of each other as well as our patients!

I want to thank you too RNPD for reading this thread & understanding what I was trying to say on another.:kiss

[LibertyRN]

Outstanding!! As an ADN RN I am ashamed that this RN represents us and has this type of attitude. Sometimes people, no matter what profession or level, have a very stong need to build themselves up at the expense of others. You are to be commended and honored for the way you dealt with the situation. My RN hat off to you.

[YukonSean]

Regardless of which nursing programme one attends (LPN, RN, diploma, degree, etc.), he or she acquires nursing abilities specific to the course requisites. While these skills are largely technical, there is also an attempt to impart objectivity and professionalism through studies dealing with ethics, world religions, or whatever. Sadly, no matter how liberal the elective- or professionally-related parts of the curriculum are, there is no way that I can think of, to force one to learn courtesy or decorum. We (i.e., the public, consumers) often criticise physicians for lacking "bedside manner" (read, "personality"), and yet this is not peculiar to medical doctors. Perhaps your friend graduated with a baccalaureate, and then went on to pass her NCLEX exams. Unfortunately, civility is not included in board tests! Well done, in managing this woman and her displacement.

[rebel charm]

I'm just wondering- if this RN thinks her parents aren't being taken care of by "qualified" nurses, why doesn't she take them home and take care of them herself????

[rnoflabor2000]

I'm an ADN RN, no better and no worse than any other "Nurse". I am appalled that you had to have gone thru that. Whether LPN, ADN, or BSN; your qualities as a nurse depend not on a degree but how you care. And caring is our forte. Level of expertise is gaining thru experience. I'm surprised that nurses cannot gain higher degrees with level of experience. Such as an LPN working for over 5 years should be granted an ADN (for an example). Or an ADN working for over 5 years should be granted a BSN. I mean they hand out PhD's for such a thing. So fear not, many nurses feel for you. And that one or two "bad" apple place to much status on degrees. It is an embarrassment to us all.

[RNPD]

Hi rnoflabor2000-tell me where to get in line for one of those PhDs they're handing out! I always wanted to be called "Doc" and my 15+ years in nursing should certainly qualify me if you only need 5 years to go from ADN to BSN. Too bad I spent all that money after LPN to go on for ADN-maybe I just could have gotten one from my experience!

Seriously, degrees are conferred by colleges and universities-no one is just "handing them out". As far as those PhDs, they are "honorariums"-and you could no more get a job requiring a PhD with one than I could get a job requiring a BSN-in spite of all my years of experience!

Duckie-you have gotten such great support from every poster here-it is so nice to see and so heartwarming!

[rnoflabor2000]

RNPD

I am perfectly aware of the fact that they don't hand them out. Believe me, that was 5 long years of school to get a degree. But it sure would be nice wouldn't it. Too bad those PhD's couldn't use them, but at least they can be called doctor, huh? Well thanks for the input. Truth be told, I think a nurse is a nurse and it isn't fair that because of a few letters after your name, and what they spell means you can be treated any less.

[Jacaut]

I don't know, maybe she was feeling bad about herself and needed to lord it over you to "build" her self esteem. Backfired, didn't it? No need to be cranky- there is enough of that in the world.

You were magnificent and I will try to remember that next time I'm having a crummy day. I tend to be outspoken sometimes and it sure is a rough lifestyle! You are a rolemodel!!!!

Just a note- some of the best nurses I've ever seen were LPNs. One lady told me she stayed an LPN because she liked working with clients more than paperwork.

It's all perspective.

Jackie

[mcl4]

I keep trying to figure out why this woman said all these things to me, maybe she was testing me somehow. I did notice that after I left the room and closed the door, it wasn't 5 minutes before she left. I really think her Dad said something to her. She wouldn't even look at me when they left but her husband smiled at me. Maybe you are all right, she's just a nasty person, that's her problem. I'll head off to work in a little bit and do my job the very best I can. Hugs to you all for your kindness and I hope I can be there for all of you if you need me like you were for me. God Bless! You all have a great day! [/b]

It appears the resident was also affected by his daughter's harsh words. I'm guessing he was embarrassed by his daughter's judgemental remarks and chose to tell you privately. You handled this matter with kindness and in a professional manner:)

I'm wondering how family conferences will go if his daughter attends them.