A Dear Abbey letter. What is your take? - page 6

I would like to hear your opinions regarding this situation from a letter taken from Dear Abbey. Do you agree with Abbey? Or should the nurse have done something differently? DEAR ABBY: While... Read More

  1. by   Nicky032605
    This past year my sister was in Labor and Delivery. The nurse went to check her cerivx by pulling up the sheet and not exposing her at all. It still bothered me, mainly becuase there was no warning, and I felt embarrassed for my sister - due to the fact of where she was being examined and that she might consider it private. :imbar I felt like her privacy was violated becuase I was there, and knowing my sister, she probably would have liked me to step out. I would have, but kinda felt put on the spot, so I just turned my head away. If it were my husband, I don't know if I would feel the same...hmmm.... Maybe a little, but only becuase I felt that the family member (patient) wasn't given a choice and therefore might be uncomfortable with it, therefore making me uncomfortable. But I did get over it pretty darn quick.... what else are ya gonna do - right?!? I guess what I said pretty much falls under what grannynurse posted about respecting peoples wishes and modesty, wheather it be cultural, religious, or whatever reason it might be.
  2. by   ClaireMacl
    I've seen some odd responses in the past in the ED, but I take them with a pinch of salt!

    When someone comes in, I usually ask someone if they mind seeing their boobies or chest (depending on sex, lol) for an ecg and usually get giggles of "I've seen them so many times before once more won't make a difference". I would never expose a pt without warning, but 9/10 times, I get a response almost like "Why are you asking?".
  3. by   imenid37
    Quote from stevielynn
    Ruby - you are a bad girl. :chuckle

    This thread seems redundant now . . . . we all seem to agree that the nurse needed to provide privacy. Some of us just differ on whether we think the wife's behavior was odd. The fact that it is odd does not mean we don't take it seriously.

    Case closed?

    steph
    ITA
  4. by   nurse4theplanet
    Quote from grannynurse FNP student
    You apparently are unaware of the number of husbands and wives who do not expose themselves to one another. And you apparently are unaware of religious restrictions regarding nudity. And you certainly give a great deal of latitude to the nurse's 'mistake' of yanking back the covers and exposing the patient's genitals to his wife. And by you, I mean all of the collective you who think the wife is off the deep end. Perhaps all of you and DA could benefit from some retraining in cultural and religious values and restrictions.

    Grannynurse
    you wrote that letter to DA didn't you grannynurse (that is only a joke)

    I am just making a point...there are two sides to every story. The woman may be completely founded in her allegations or a complete prude...who knows? Only DA read the letter in its entirety and responded. I am not going to automatically side with the pt's wife...just playing devil's advocate to keep a fresh open minded perspective on the situation. Since none of us were there, we can't decipher who was right and who was wrong. I have already stressed the importance of maintaining pt modesty, and I am simply expressing that you cannot take everything you hear or read for the gospel. Perception can be different from reality.
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Your husband was her patient, and in her eyes, was probably as sexless as a CPR dummy.
    I could see a spot in the floor of the Dear Abby mailroom collapsing, from the weight of response letters from nurses.
  6. by   grannynurse FNP student
    Quote from asoldierswife05
    you wrote that letter to DA didn't you grannynurse (that is only a joke)

    I am just making a point...there are two sides to every story. The woman may be completely founded in her allegations or a complete prude...who knows? Only DA read the letter in its entirety and responded. I am not going to automatically side with the pt's wife...just playing devil's advocate to keep a fresh open minded perspective on the situation. Since none of us were there, we can't decipher who was right and who was wrong. I have already stressed the importance of maintaining pt modesty, and I am simply expressing that you cannot take everything you hear or read for the gospel. Perception can be different from reality.
    I have a feeling you are young. Your attitude will change as you grow older, most likely. I am not automatically taking the wife's side but I did tend to respect my patient's privacy and assumed everyone else did and expected it.

    Grannynurse
  7. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    It would be so nice if people would not chalk up someone's opinion on a subject to them being young, and predicting their attitude would change as they grow older!

    Sorry, that's just rude.
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    To me, a pt. isn't sexless. Their gender IS a part of who they are, and it's not like i can ignore that.
  9. by   Ruby Vee
    asoldierswife05 wrote:
    i am just making a point...there are two sides to every story. the woman may be completely founded in her allegations or a complete prude...who knows? only da read the letter in its entirety and responded. i am not going to automatically side with the pt's wife...just playing devil's advocate to keep a fresh open minded perspective on the situation. since none of us were there, we can't decipher who was right and who was wrong. i have already stressed the importance of maintaining pt modesty, and i am simply expressing that you cannot take everything you hear or read for the gospel. perception can be different from reality.

    to which grannynurse replied:


    Quote from grannynurse fnp student
    i have a feeling you are young. your attitude will change as you grow older, most likely. i am not automatically taking the wife's side but i did tend to respect my patient's privacy and assumed everyone else did and expected it.

    grannynurse

    well i'm 50, and although my attitude has changed quite a bit since i was 25, i agree with asoldierswife05! while the patient's privacy is indeed very important and worthy of our respect, you cannot take everything a patient or his family says as gospel. none of us were there for the situation described, so it is impossible for us to know for sure what happened. the wife's perception may indeed be far from the reality of the situation. i found nothing in asoldierswife05's post to indicate immaturity or a need for an attitude adjustment. on the contrary -- i feel that if someone believes they can judge the reality of the situation and assign blame to the nurse without far more information, they need both more maturity and an attitude adjustment!

  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from marie_lpn
    it would be so nice if people would not chalk up someone's opinion on a subject to them being young, and predicting their attitude would change as they grow older!

    sorry, that's just rude.
    and in this case, wrong.
  11. by   live4today
    Quote from Faeriewand
    I would like to hear your opinions regarding this situation from a letter taken from Dear Abbey. Do you agree with Abbey? Or should the nurse have done something differently?

    DEAR ABBY: While sitting with my husband in the hospital following his surgery, a nurse entered his room. We all chatted while she took his pulse, etc., when -- without warning -- she removed his covers to check the surgery site and totally exposed his genitals.

    I was shocked and embarrassed, and have trouble ridding myself of the image of my naked husband lying there in front of another woman. I wish the nurse had given me the chance to leave the room.

    Is there something wrong with me for having so much trouble with this? What can I do to avoid this in the future? -- RED-FACED IN EUGENE, ORE.

    DEAR RED-FACED: On a scale of 10, I'd say you are probably an 8 on the "uptight" scale. You seem to have forgotten that the woman in the room with you was not a lap dancer, but a health-care professional performing her duties. Your husband was her patient, and in her eyes, was probably as sexless as a CPR dummy. To avoid embarrassment in the future, leave the room when the nurse enters
    Abbey IS as Abbey speaks. :icon_roll She always speaks WITHOUT tact, so take what she dishes out with a grain of salt. That was insensitive and uncalled for...but as I said...look at the source of which it comes. :stone

    I always give my patients the right to their privacy and ask them before examining them if they wish for their relatives, friends, etc. to be present during the exam/assessment or if they wish for them to leave while the exam is being performed. If they want them to stay during their assessment, I always try to keep them covered as much as possible when it comes to assessing their "private areas". Dignity remains even when a patient, and just because one is the nurse performing the exam makes it no less important for the nurse to honor the patient and his/her dignity and self-respect.
  12. by   mercyteapot
    Doesn't it go without saying that none of us were there? As for me, I respond to the post. If the post isn't wholly reflective of the situation, then of course my viewpoint might change. The OP's question was actually what we thought of the situation taken from Dear Abby's column, though, not what we think of the situation as it might actually have happened.
    Last edit by mercyteapot on Dec 1, '05
  13. by   nurse4theplanet
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    It would be so nice if people would not chalk up someone's opinion on a subject to them being young, and predicting their attitude would change as they grow older!

    Sorry, that's just rude.
    AMEN Marie.

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