Hello my allnurses buddies!
It's been awhile since I've had time to cruise the forums, much less post anything...but here I am after one month of being on my own.
Orientation lasted six months after graduation. My first preceptor put in her two weeks notice half-way through my orientation (had nothing to do with me lol), so I had to switch to a new preceptor to finish out.
And they were as different as night and day, to say the least!
But I survived, and now I have been a real nurse (carrying the full responsibility) for a full month. It has felt like an emotional rollercoaster.
Sometimes, I beam with pride when I see myself picking up on things quickly. But most days I feel dumber than dirt, like all my self-esteem has been ripped away. I am amazed at how many questions I have still. Not about pt care and conditions, necessarily; I expected that. More about paperwork, facility policy, etc. reguarding situations that never arose during my orientation.
Everyone is very helpful and supportive, which is why I chose this particular facilty and floor (ICU). But sometimes you ask a question and get 4 or more different answers! LOL
I don't feel like a nurse at all, but I don't feel like a student anymore either. It's a strange place to be in..."new grad". In school, I excelled among my peers. But in the real world, my skills are as green as they come surrounded by nurses with years of experience. That transition alone is difficult. I am very aware of my lack of confidence and I keep telling myself that it is going to take time to feel comfortable (semi) in my role. Maybe "seasoned" is a better word. I'm getting good feedback so far. I hope I keep doing well and start to feel more confident.