A Dear Abbey letter. What is your take?

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I would like to hear your opinions regarding this situation from a letter taken from Dear Abbey. Do you agree with Abbey? Or should the nurse have done something differently?

DEAR ABBY: While sitting with my husband in the hospital following his surgery, a nurse entered his room. We all chatted while she took his pulse, etc., when -- without warning -- she removed his covers to check the surgery site and totally exposed his genitals.

I was shocked and embarrassed, and have trouble ridding myself of the image of my naked husband lying there in front of another woman. I wish the nurse had given me the chance to leave the room.

Is there something wrong with me for having so much trouble with this? What can I do to avoid this in the future? -- RED-FACED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR RED-FACED: On a scale of 10, I'd say you are probably an 8 on the "uptight" scale. You seem to have forgotten that the woman in the room with you was not a lap dancer, but a health-care professional performing her duties. Your husband was her patient, and in her eyes, was probably as sexless as a CPR dummy. To avoid embarrassment in the future, leave the room when the nurse enters

Specializes in telemetry, oncology, med/surg.

I think that the nurse should have asked the patient and family member what was adequate for that patient's needs. If it was a cardiac cath site, the private areas need not be exposed. If it was a TURP or circum. then it might have been appropriate, but nurses need to be sensitive to all types of patients and their needs as well as their family's.

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But then again, like Abbey said...my patients are as sexless as a CPR dummy!

Wow, I hope you do not refer to your patients as "The Gall Bladder in Room 207" also. This type of compassionless care and attitudes is what gives MD's bad names, and it is a growing problem in nursing as well. If the nurse in the Abbey column came into my wife's room and did the same thing without as much as a hello, then I would be having a 1 on 1 with the DON. There is absolutely no excuse for Piss-Poor Care!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

But then again, like Abbey said...my patients are as sexless as a CPR dummy!

Wow, I hope you do not refer to your patients as "The Gall Bladder in Room 207" also. This type of compassionless care and attitudes is what gives MD's bad names, and it is a growing problem in nursing as well.

Please allow me to clarify something here.

Sometimes in this business it's necessary to identify a patient to another caregiver outside of the patient's room in a public area.

In that kind of environment, in order to keep the patient's identity secret, I will say the room and bed number only.

It might come off as cold and unfeeling to you, but because I do have compassion and concern for the patient, I don't want to give out more information than needed.

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

Please allow me to clarify something here.

Sometimes in this business it's necessary to identify a patient to another caregiver outside of the patient's room in a public area.

In that kind of environment, in order to keep the patient's identity secret, I will say the room and bed number only.

It might come off as cold and unfeeling to you, but because I do have compassion and concern for the patient, I don't want to give out more information than needed.

I agree with you.

And if I were in the hospital, I would have no problem with this, for the same reason.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.

Wow, I hope you do not refer to your patients as "The Gall Bladder in Room 207" also. This type of compassionless care and attitudes is what gives MD's bad names, and it is a growing problem in nursing as well. If the nurse in the Abbey column came into my wife's room and did the same thing without as much as a hello, then I would be having a 1 on 1 with the DON. There is absolutely no excuse for Piss-Poor Care!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

The comment Abbey wrote, regardless of how you feel about her tact, was meant to elaborate to the wife that this nurse had purely professional thoughts when she saw her husband's genatalia. The wife was upset at the idea of "another woman" seeing her husband naked. So yes, in that aspect, my patients are a sexless as a CPR dummy. Don't see a problem with it.

Does that mean that I dehumanize my patients, do not respect their privacy, or that I am not compassionate? Absolutely not. Do not be so quick to jump to conclusions or interject your own meaning into another's post:rolleyes:

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Specializes in telemetry, oncology, med/surg.

Actually, I was not trying to depersonalize anything, I was just responding to what I thought, my own opinion on the matter. I guess it just depends on the nurses style and their ideas on the subject. It would also make a difference in the actual situation, I feel there needs to be more info and what the case was and what was going on in the first place.

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Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

That is why when I have to expose those type of 'areas' I ask family to leave! I don't care who they are...they are asked to leave, and if they don't want to go I explain that genilia or what not will be exposed briefly (and what I will be doing).

I also make a habit of covering any area I am not working with directly. I know I would appreciate it...especially in a cold room..brrrrrrr.

And although I actually loved Abby's use of the "cpr dummy"...I actually do a quick assessment if that area is exposed...that is our job. Yes, I am pretty well 'clinical' when it comes to seeing genitalia (the yadda yadda its a member/lady parts..big whoop) and monitor for probelms only...so I guess they aren't CPR dummies or Ken/Barbies...but I just don't think about it other than professionally! Just another appendage/fold/orifice that needs to be checked and treated in a long line of 'em! LOL!

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