You Might Not Want to Read This

It is something I would write in my journal, I am sharing something I normally wouldn't. It is about my experience on becoming a nurse and the opinion of society. I am hoping others can relate so that I know I am not alone. I realize it is a different experience for everyone. This is my journey, summarized. Raw and uncensored. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

You Might Not Want to Read This

I am a NURSE.

Did I make a mistake? Am I going to regret this for the rest of my life?

These thoughts keep running through my head. I roll around in bed, eating pizza and feeling sorry for myself. Nursing school was so hard. It took up a lot of my time, energy, money...and let's not forget the mental stress. When I first started telling people I am a nursing major is when I realized how negative people can be and how they crush your soul a little without even realizing it. Strangers, family, and friends.

I rarely heard words of encouragement "You know it is really hard to get into nursing school, you will be waiting forever."

Fast forward. I applied to an associate degree program in my area. Got in. "So isn't a Bachelor degree what you need?"

Fast forward. Graduation. "You know, it is nearly impossible to find a nursing job." "So you're going to be wiping people's butts for a living?"

I just wanted to shake these ignorant people. I did not shed blood, sweat, and tears for someone to think that my only task would be cleaning feces. I could write a book on all the things I have heard about my choice in profession.

The NCLEX was a traumatic experience. I told myself that if I failed it, that is it. I could not go through that type of exam again. I passed. I then started applying to what felt like a million nursing positions in hospitals. Not one call. Rejection emails flooded my inbox. I was tired of my job in sales so I decided to go ahead and apply to skilled nursing facilities. You know, what people look down on. Got an interview... got hired. I wasn't thrilled but I was happy to be using my license that I worked so hard for.

Met with a group of friends from nursing school for dinner. One of us in the group of 6 landed a hospital job. That was no surprise since she had worked there 10 plus years as a Unit Secretary/Nurse Assistant. First thing out of her mouth "How much are they paying you?" I reluctantly told her, in front of everyone. "You should really get a hospital job." Insinuating how much more money she makes. I wanted to scream. Everyone congratulated her, but not me. My job wasn't exciting and I didn't make $50+ an hour.

When will the negativity end? Why are nursing politics so prevalent? Who works where. Who makes what. New nurse versus seasoned nurse. Bachelor degree or Associate? Shouldn't we be united? Did we not all work hard for our license? Aren't we all smart?

I was no longer excited to go shop for scrubs. I sat through orientation at work with a headache and just wanted to cry. Truth is, I am scared. I am a new nurse. I don't know a lot, I have a lot to learn. However, how can I feel okay when I don't think I will get the support I need to thrive as a nurse? Did everyone at some point feel this way? I wanted to help people. I am caring and compassionate. I genuinely want to heal and make a difference.

I know it is not glamorous. I know it won't make me rich. Don't look down on me because I am a new graduate. Teach me. Guide me. Let me be great. It is not something you might have wanted to hear and I'm sure it didn't leave you with a warm, fuzzy feeling. But this is what I am going through. It is the truth and it is my experience.

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rn_xoxo

About rn_xoxo, ASN, RN

Just a girl trying to make it in this crazy world.

10 Posts

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Specializes in none.

I am not a nurse yet. But, I would say very few people start out in their dream job. Most people, no matter where he or she starts, have to work hard in their first job to learn where they can go from there. You need to rejoice that you have somewhere to start as an RN and get that necessary experience. And take all the opportunities to grow in this first skilled facility. It will serve you well in your future!

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You will grow a much thicker skin the longer you are in nursing. You will meet plenty of downright mean people who get joy out of making others as miserable as they are. You try to let most of their hate roll off your back. Things will get better. You have a paying job that will be hard. You will enhance you skills. Some actually LOVE LTC. Not everyone is meant to be in a "hospital". There are plently of other careers like homecare, outpt offices, LTACH etc. You have made it to this point. Don't let others bring you down.

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Specializes in Med/surg, Onc.

You need a new group of friends. None of my nursing school friends would have ever made another feel bad for not having a job yet, or not landing the dream job etc. we supported each other though our ADN program and 5 of us are still great friends.

I did have a few people in my life be a negative Nancy, but honestly most of those close to me supported me and encouraged me. I can't imagine my friends and family treating me like that no matter the subject :( I'm sorry you don't have support.

Most people don't land their dream job right away, and sometimes it takes awhile to get any job, but that's okay. Bloom where you are planted and soak any and all on the job knowledge you learn. Then keep looking for something that you want down the road.

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Specializes in LTC, MDS Cordnator, Mental Health.

I have been out of school for 8 years, and I started out in LTC (4yrs) . I just decided I was going to learn every thing I could, because of the experience I gained from LTC I was just offered a job as a Pt Care manager. it is an Administrative job within the hospital.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I think you are letting other people's comments and opinions matter too much! It is what you think that really matters. Tune out the negativity! Nursing is hard work and you will find that out soon enough. My friend a fellow nurse discouraged me from becoming one, but I did it anyway. She was right about a lot of things, but I'm still working. She got out of bedside nursing and has worked as a case manager for many years and is happy and makes a good salary. She is the main provider, her husband has drifted about in odd jobs and she has put him thru school several times. Last heard he was working as a massage therapist and things were good for them.

You have to decide for yourself. If you don't like what you are doing make a decision to look for another different job in six months to a year at most and go from there. If you find bedside nursing isn't for you then make a plan to find an alternative job right away. Either plan on getting your BSN soon or even consider a direct RN-NP program. Unfortunately that is not an easy option to find as colleges want to get more tuition money from you by making you pay for a BSN first. I believe there are some online RN to NP programs available.

Right now learn all you can and do your best and if you find that you aren't happy then make plans for a different job in the future. Don't waste time comparing yourself with other nurses, but do however listen to them and see what their jobs are like, what the pay is and if they are happy. Learn as much as you can for your own knowledge and if their jobs seem to be something you would like better than ask if they can help get you in once they have some experience.

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I agree - your "support system" may need to be replaced. From my group of friends who graduated from school not all of us started in hospital jobs. I started in a plasma donation center, one in SNF, one in Laser center etc. And when we would feel discouraged by the whole application process we would always push each other to continue applying and would help each other out by mock interviews. I wish you all the best. stay positive. Keep applying. Your dream job is attainable.

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Specializes in Mental Health Nursing.

You feel lost. That is normal as a new nurse. Don't let other people's experiences or opinions get you down. Soon, you will see where your experiences take you. I started out in LTC and I know for a fact that it is hell on earth. And yes, I was about to throw in the towel; but then something happened. I got good. And then I became great. No matter what, you keep going and don't let it break you.

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Specializes in Corrections, Psych, Public Health.

So instead of being happy for you that you have a job your friend asks how much you make then tells you you should get a hospital job? I'd get a different circle of friends. Your first year out of nursing school is time to learn "real" nursing, and by that I don't mean nursing in a hospital, by that I mean the "real world" nursing no matter what field you are in. No skill ever gained is going to be a bad one. You are only going to grow and evolve in your knowledge and in nursing. So chin up buttercup, there are a lot of negative people out there, you just need to learn to let the negativity roll off your back....and that to comes with time.:)

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I have to share that you are my favorite kind of person. I think it says so much about people who clearly have an uphill battle, make the decision to move forward and accept the challenge, and make it to the other side successfully. Take pride in being underestimated, my friend. It will serve your character when your success shines. I wish you all the best, and I believe you are a rock solid nurse with a huge contribution to make to your patients' lives.... Keep your spirit!

One of my favorite quotes by Rumi:

Be concentrated and leonine in the hunt for what is your true nourishment.

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I would do anything to just have a job right now!!! Congrats on landing one!

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Wow! I never heard someone have this tough a time from their support system. Please know that you made it through school--a course of study that is probably more difficult than the people who were putting it down did. Most of them would probably not have made it! You passed the NCLEX, I am betting most of those people couldn't have come close to that accomplishment!

Who cares where you are working-you landed a job! Your salary is your business and it is a new grad salary, it will get better.

The so called support system you surrounded yourself with are a bunch of dolts! But don't worry, you have us! Those of who have been where you are, gone through what you are going through, and had a tough time getting a new grad job are in your corner! You sound like you have what it takes-you will be a wonderful nurse!

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