Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 3

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More

  1. Visit  T-Bird78 profile page
    Phone triage call--Pt: I'm (gasp) having (wheeze) an (gasp) ast(gasp)ma (wheeze) attack!
    Me: Do you have your rescue inhaler?
    Pt: (Gasp)No! It (wheeze) ran (gasp) out (wheeeeze) three months (gasp) ago
    Me: Have someone drive you to the ER or call 911
    Pt: (Wheeze) I'd rather (gasp) make an (wheeze) appointment.
    Me: You need to go to the ER
    Pt: (Wheeze) I've been (gasp) short of (gasp) breath for (wheeze) three (gasp) days and it's (gasp) not any (wheeze) better
    Me: GO. TO. THE. ER.
    Pt: I'm (gasp) on my (wheeze) to you (gasp) office.
    Me: You're driving right past the hospital, go there.
    Pt: No. (wheeeeze). I (gasp) don't want (wheeze) to wait (gasp) in the (gasp) waiting (wheeze) room for (wheeze) 3 (gasp) hours.
    Me: All we can do is give a nebulizer tx and shot of epi
    Pt: Can I come (gasp) in at 2:30?
    Me: It's 11 a.m. If you're not going to the ER then come straight here.
    Pt: I can't make it in (gasp) until 2:30. Work won't (wheeze) let me off.
    Me: Tell your boss to call 911 if they won't let you go.

    FYI--pt came on in and we treated then admitted to the ER.
    all4neuro, letsbefriends, blaundee, and 9 others like this.
  2. Visit  NutmeggeRN profile page
    In a high school health office

    Good-Can you help me get my clothes washed, my mom cooked garlic and my clothes reek

    Bad-In a high pitched, squeaky voice

    Teacher "Does my face look swollen?
    Me " yes, are you allergic to anything" all the while assessing SOB and swelling and calling for help
    Teacher " Well, I was eating some almonds and my throat began to close up"
    Me " Do you have a nut allergy?"
    Teacher " No I have eaten them my whole life"
    Me "Not anymore I think, here take this liquid benadryl and I am going to give you a shot of EPI until the FD arrives

    She goes to ER via ambulance and has another Epi and multiple infusions of prednisone/zantac

    Studentexplains she has stomach pain/cramping Is pregnant but not due for another week or two. Parent called and on the way.
    Student advises she feels "wet". Looks loike she passed her mucous plug. Mom picks her up and taking her in active labor to ER. (I had done a limited visual exam to make she sure she was not crowning before she went to hospital)

    Me-I call OB office to give them a heads up that she is on her way.
    Office-Is really in labor?
    Me -Well she is contracting @3-4 mins apart, her water has broken and she was in a LOT of discomfort.
    Office -Well she should have come here FIRST! You dont know of that was her plug
    Me- Nope I have no nitrazine paper but she is gonna deliver sooner than later (have prev OB office experience)
    Office-Whatever, we'll end up seeing her here anyway, Clunck down goes the phone in my ear

    End of story She delivered with in 30 mins of arrival to ER
    Last edit by NutmeggeRN on Jan 7, '13
  3. Visit  Flyboy17 profile page
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    ATech4GFA, all4neuro, SherriJones, and 27 others like this.
  4. Visit  FlorenceNtheMachine profile page
    Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRN
    Heck no, I meant L Hemispheric Stroke- long day. Whoops- that would have sucked out loud(like my post

    Bahahaha! Sleepy posts are the best. I was just like "wow, they didn't teach me anything right in school! "
  5. Visit  Paul'in'FL profile page
    Quote from Flyboy17
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    Snort! I had a similar complaint from an old gentleman with "turrrible vagina" who took "TNT" for the pain (somewhere he confused medical nitrogycerin with the "blow stuff up" kind!)
  6. Visit  FlorenceNtheMachine profile page
    Quote from Flyboy17
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    Haha! I'm going to call the next incompetent cervix I see unstable vagina.
    all4neuro, elprup, HyperSaurus, RN, and 10 others like this.
  7. Visit  tokmom profile page
    Quote from canoehead
    That's not a seizure, that's the macarena.
    Thanks, now the song is stuck in my head!
    nitenite, uRNmyway, and canoehead like this.
  8. Visit  imintrouble profile page
    I love these stories. They're exactly why I don't want to work ER, but I do enjoy reading them.

    On the other hand, I took my 16 year old daughter to the ER when a stick was under her great toe nail. She'd been washing her car with flip flops on, and literally embedded a small stick. Not a splinter. I remember the looks on the nurses' faces until they saw the stick protruding.
    I knew I'd get the eye rolling, nonverbal contempt at the window when I explained why we were there. It did my heart good when they quietly removed the tweezers they brought to the room.
    My husband offered to get the needle nose pliers from the truck, after several attempts with several different clamps didn't dislodge the stick.
  9. Visit  DawnJ profile page
    Quote from ~*Stargazer*~
    "Midgets are fighting in my crotch."
    And what was the medical diagnosis? STD or Mental Illness or both?
    Fiona59 likes this.
  10. Visit  DawnJ profile page
    Quote from psu_213
    "I haven't been able to get an erection for 6 months." (the pt, not me )
    And this became an emergency tonight because........? Hot date?
    Sadala, Fiona59, canoehead, and 1 other like this.
  11. Visit  Anna Flaxis profile page
    Quote from DawnJ
    And what was the medical diagnosis? STD or Mental Illness or both?
    See post #24.
  12. Visit  Flyboy17 profile page
    5:58 pm by [COLOR=#003366]FlorenceNtheMachine
    5:58 pm by [COLOR=#003366]FlorenceNtheMachine A member since Aug '12. FlorenceNtheMachine has 'Goose-Egg' year(s) of nursing experience and specializes in 'Critical Care'. Posts: 53 Likes: 102

    [COLOR=#003366]Quote from Flyboy17
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    Haha! I'm going to call the next incompetent cervix I see unstable vagina.

    I guess one could have the unstable vagina if their Ph is out of whack and have a yeast infection.
  13. Visit  marycarney profile page
    1) Guy brought in by the police (who were giving him a ride because he was out walking in a blizzard - not because of any criminal activity) who told me "I'm having trouble satisfying my woman".
    2) Shrieking woman who had a "chunk of metal" in her thumb (it was an un-stapled staple and was all of one cell layer deep in her thumb.)
    3) Same blizzard as above (-80 wind chill) - woman brought her four day old baby in for diaper rash. Took two bus transfers to get to us. Yes, the police drove them home.

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