Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 3
"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More
Jan 7, '13Phone triage call--Pt: I'm (gasp) having (wheeze) an (gasp) ast(gasp)ma (wheeze) attack!
Me: Do you have your rescue inhaler?
Pt: (Gasp)No! It (wheeze) ran (gasp) out (wheeeeze) three months (gasp) ago
Me: Have someone drive you to the ER or call 911
Pt: (Wheeze) I'd rather (gasp) make an (wheeze) appointment.
Me: You need to go to the ER
Pt: (Wheeze) I've been (gasp) short of (gasp) breath for (wheeze) three (gasp) days and it's (gasp) not any (wheeze) better
Me: GO. TO. THE. ER.
Pt: I'm (gasp) on my (wheeze) to you (gasp) office.
Me: You're driving right past the hospital, go there.
Pt: No. (wheeeeze). I (gasp) don't want (wheeze) to wait (gasp) in the (gasp) waiting (wheeze) room for (wheeze) 3 (gasp) hours.
Me: All we can do is give a nebulizer tx and shot of epi
Pt: Can I come (gasp) in at 2:30?
Me: It's 11 a.m. If you're not going to the ER then come straight here.
Pt: I can't make it in (gasp) until 2:30. Work won't (wheeze) let me off.
Me: Tell your boss to call 911 if they won't let you go.
FYI--pt came on in and we treated then admitted to the ER.
Jan 7, '13In a high school health office
Good-Can you help me get my clothes washed, my mom cooked garlic and my clothes reek
Bad-In a high pitched, squeaky voice
Teacher "Does my face look swollen?
Me " yes, are you allergic to anything" all the while assessing SOB and swelling and calling for help
Teacher " Well, I was eating some almonds and my throat began to close up"
Me " Do you have a nut allergy?"
Teacher " No I have eaten them my whole life"
Me "Not anymore I think, here take this liquid benadryl and I am going to give you a shot of EPI until the FD arrives
She goes to ER via ambulance and has another Epi and multiple infusions of prednisone/zantac
Studentexplains she has stomach pain/cramping Is pregnant but not due for another week or two. Parent called and on the way.
Student advises she feels "wet". Looks loike she passed her mucous plug. Mom picks her up and taking her in active labor to ER. (I had done a limited visual exam to make she sure she was not crowning before she went to hospital)
Me-I call OB office to give them a heads up that she is on her way.
Office-Is really in labor?
Me -Well she is contracting @3-4 mins apart, her water has broken and she was in a LOT of discomfort.
Office -Well she should have come here FIRST! You dont know of that was her plug
Me- Nope I have no nitrazine paper but she is gonna deliver sooner than later (have prev OB office experience)
Office-Whatever, we'll end up seeing her here anyway, Clunck down goes the phone in my ear
End of story She delivered with in 30 mins of arrival to ER
Last edit by NutmeggeRN on Jan 7, '13
Jan 7, '13Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRNBahahaha! Sleepy posts are the best. I was just like "wow, they didn't teach me anything right in school! "Heck no, I meant L Hemispheric Stroke- long day. Whoops- that would have sucked out loud(like my post
Jan 7, '13Quote from Flyboy17Snort! I had a similar complaint from an old gentleman with "turrrible vagina" who took "TNT" for the pain (somewhere he confused medical nitrogycerin with the "blow stuff up" kind!)"My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
Jan 7, '13Quote from Flyboy17Haha! I'm going to call the next incompetent cervix I see unstable vagina."My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
Jan 7, '13Quote from canoeheadThanks, now the song is stuck in my head!That's not a seizure, that's the macarena.
Jan 7, '13I love these stories. They're exactly why I don't want to work ER, but I do enjoy reading them.
On the other hand, I took my 16 year old daughter to the ER when a stick was under her great toe nail. She'd been washing her car with flip flops on, and literally embedded a small stick. Not a splinter. I remember the looks on the nurses' faces until they saw the stick protruding.
I knew I'd get the eye rolling, nonverbal contempt at the window when I explained why we were there. It did my heart good when they quietly removed the tweezers they brought to the room.
My husband offered to get the needle nose pliers from the truck, after several attempts with several different clamps didn't dislodge the stick.
Jan 7, '13Quote from ~*Stargazer*~And what was the medical diagnosis? STD or Mental Illness or both?"Midgets are fighting in my crotch."
Jan 7, '13Quote from psu_213And this became an emergency tonight because........? Hot date?"I haven't been able to get an erection for 6 months." (the pt, not me )
Jan 7, '13Quote from DawnJSee post #24.And what was the medical diagnosis? STD or Mental Illness or both?
Jan 7, '135:58 pm by [COLOR=#003366]FlorenceNtheMachine
5:58 pm by [COLOR=#003366]FlorenceNtheMachine A member since Aug '12. FlorenceNtheMachine has 'Goose-Egg' year(s) of nursing experience and specializes in 'Critical Care'. Posts: 53 Likes: 102
[COLOR=#003366]Quote from Flyboy17"My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"Haha! I'm going to call the next incompetent cervix I see unstable vagina.
I guess one could have the unstable vagina if their Ph is out of whack and have a yeast infection.
Jan 7, '131) Guy brought in by the police (who were giving him a ride because he was out walking in a blizzard - not because of any criminal activity) who told me "I'm having trouble satisfying my woman".
2) Shrieking woman who had a "chunk of metal" in her thumb (it was an un-stapled staple and was all of one cell layer deep in her thumb.)
3) Same blizzard as above (-80 wind chill) - woman brought her four day old baby in for diaper rash. Took two bus transfers to get to us. Yes, the police drove them home.