Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 10

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More

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    Patient c/o chest pain at triage, rushed back by a tech without speaking to RN (to comply with door to EKG times). When we undressed him for EKG and monitor saw that he had a small nail embedded in his upper chest.....pulled out by the MD with pliers. ALWAYS do a brief triage on your "chest pain" patients .

    Several feet of fly fishing line pt. had inserted into his penis....*****!!

    "I need STD testing before I leave town again." No primary, and apparently no time left to go to a clinic, ugh!

    Just a few I've heard.....many more out there!

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  2. 0
    Had a corker last night.

    Bad: Asian male presented with stab wound to his leg, asked how the knife stabbed him 'I jump from roof and land on it' ***

    Ugly: 3 deaths; DOA, Resp arrest in 84yr old and a hit and run

    Good: the best should massage ever
  3. 1
    Haha! We get some great ones in my little ER.

    "I just found out my appendix grew back so it's hurting."
    (Me)"When was that?"
    "Seven years ago."
    maelstrom143 likes this.
  4. 1
    Wow I had no idea the appendix could regenerate! Live and learn!
    maelstrom143 likes this.
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    A 56 year old lady came on day, with a complaint of Difficulty of Breathing, known asthmatic for 10 years.

    came in semi-conscious with a face mask on attached to hand pump used to pump air on tires.

    suddenly, the relatives say she's dying! Duh! i wonder why, they've been pumping for 4 hours! I don't know if i should laugh or strangle the relative.
    maelstrom143, elprup, and jtsRN like this.
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    Quote from R!XTER
    Young healthy 30 yr old female "I have the flu"
    "OK, so what made you come in tonight?"
    Blank stare. "Because I have the flu. I don't feel well."
    Grrr this flu season has been brutal. Don't know why ppl think the flu is a medical emergency.
    Our newscasters were horrible last year emphasizing deaths from the flu, and then the government put out ads saying to go right into your PCP if you had flu symptoms, and start the Tamiflu early. So everyone with a sniffle and fever showed up. Can't blame them, since they were told they might die if they waited until they got really sick.
    k-hole, Fiona59, ImKosher, and 2 others like this.
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    Had to share... Had a f/m ring the videophone in the ambulance bay last shift. Asked how I could help. States, "I think my Mother-In-Law might have passed away in the car." 0.0. Grab a couple pairs if hands and sprint out to find her a hair's breadth from death, no response to painful stimuli, shallow, agonal resps, hardly any palpable pulse, blue as a fish, bladder release. Family calm as can be. Don't know how, but we kept her going. Posturing while we worked. Grabbed all the newbies to come work her because they usually do not get to come in on a code when they are busy elsewhere. Vented her and sent to the ICU. Good teamwork in our little ER. Bell ring to bed with IVs x 3, vent, NG, F/c, labs, levophed, bolusing NS in 10 minutes or so.
    all4neuro, maelstrom143, k-hole, and 3 others like this.
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    Had this one last summer:

    A middle aged woman and man is standing in line to be triaged. Both are calm, quiet, and don't seem to be in any distress. The man has on a sweater which I found odd for summer time weather. Anyway...

    Me: "what brings you in tonight"?
    Woman: "WE need to see a doctor" (pointing at man), man is not speaking.
    Me: (to the man) "what brings you in tonight?"
    Woman: (before man can answer) "he came home and said somebody shot him in the chest".
    Me: (rushing to get man back to a room) "come with me sir", I remove the man's shirt and there are two open wounds noted to chest. Minimal bleeding noted. There were no holes in the sweater the man was wearing, but there were holes in the shirt underneath.
    Man: "I was shot"
    Woman: "he drove himself here. We rode in separate cars".
    Me: (puts man in wheelchair, calls out a trauma and pushes man to trauma bay)
    Woman: leaves prior to police arriving

    Man is tubed and placed in ICU. Woman was his wife. Story was he was caught cheating and wife followed him over to other woman's house, had altercation with both the other woman and husband and shoots the husband. Then he drives himself to the hospital and she followed him to make sure he made it. This is according to the detective who arrived later to "interview" the victim after mistress called police.
    Last edit by shoegalRN on Mar 28, '13 : Reason: spelling
    ICUman, all4neuro, maelstrom143, and 6 others like this.
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    Patient came in by EMS, told them he wasn't feeling well, but when I went to do his triage and asked what brought him to the ER today, patient stated, "they (EMS) just wanted me to get checked out and everything." Patient had NO complaints.
    maelstrom143 likes this.
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    Had a pt come in for alcohol detox, while triaging him my charge nurse came out to get him.
    Pt: "You didn't let finish my story, I can't go back yet"
    Me: "what haven't you finished telling me?"
    Pt: "I have my pet with me"
    Me: pet? Where?
    Pt: right here in my backpack
    Both me & the charge rn look in the backpack - sure enough there is a plastic box w/holes in the bag - he had brought his pet rat. The charge RN spent 1/2 the night calling around to get offices to hold the rat for several days for the pt. then the ER volunteer had to sit outside until our hospital security could bring him to the vet
    maelstrom143 likes this.

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