Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 3

by canoehead

119,448 Views | 333 Comments

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More


  1. 13
    Quote from eatmysoxRN
    My child's fever is 99.1 and I didn't want to give him anything because I wanted you to know he was feverish. On Medicaid. Ugh.

    ~ No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent -Eleanor Roosevelt ~
    Yep "My baby's burning up!"
    "Did you take her temperature?" No.
    "Do you own a thermometer?" No.
    "Did you try children's Tylenol?" No.

    (Medicaid.)
    Gee I don't know why our health care costs are so high.
    melissa8321, TaylorMaidRn, ChuckeRN, and 10 others like this.
  2. 15
    Quote from ~*Stargazer*~
    "Midgets are fighting in my crotch."
    Part of me really wants to know the back story and eventual diagnosis on this one, the other part of me is really afraid to know lol! I think you win for strangest complaint!
    SherriJones, blaundee, linzjane88, and 12 others like this.
  3. 7
    Quote from OnlybyHisgraceRN
    These are so halirious, I start in the ED this week, can't wait to add my own stories. I do have one story though, from my share day.
    A homeless alcholic comes to the ED because he had a seizure. I asked if anyone witnessed it he said no. Then he says" I'm going to have one right now". He holds his arms out and start moving them up and down and while slowly raising his shoulders up and down as well. I looked at him and said cut it out. He then stopped, and continued with his story.
    Patient faking seizure in ER
  4. 5
    Quote from Sugarcoma
    Part of me really wants to know the back story and eventual diagnosis on this one, the other part of me is really afraid to know lol! I think you win for strangest complaint!
    Person with schizophrenia and an abscess "Down There".
    all4neuro, teeniebert, anotherone, and 2 others like this.
  5. 6
    "If I am going to be here much longer, could I get a tray?"

    -an "Intractable Emesis" and "N/V/D" patient I picked up at ER report who had been in 27 minutes.

    "OH!!!!...and do you think my Nausea Medicine is due yet?" (Same )
  6. 5
    "My 3 year old pooped 3x lastnight. Today nothing". (Did you call your child's PCP?) "No we came here instead"
    The child was up running around. No pain, no change in appetite. Of course at that time the waiting room was full of influenza so I'm sure they'll be back.
  7. 12
    Phone triage call--Pt: I'm (gasp) having (wheeze) an (gasp) ast(gasp)ma (wheeze) attack!
    Me: Do you have your rescue inhaler?
    Pt: (Gasp)No! It (wheeze) ran (gasp) out (wheeeeze) three months (gasp) ago
    Me: Have someone drive you to the ER or call 911
    Pt: (Wheeze) I'd rather (gasp) make an (wheeze) appointment.
    Me: You need to go to the ER
    Pt: (Wheeze) I've been (gasp) short of (gasp) breath for (wheeze) three (gasp) days and it's (gasp) not any (wheeze) better
    Me: GO. TO. THE. ER.
    Pt: I'm (gasp) on my (wheeze) to you (gasp) office.
    Me: You're driving right past the hospital, go there.
    Pt: No. (wheeeeze). I (gasp) don't want (wheeze) to wait (gasp) in the (gasp) waiting (wheeze) room for (wheeze) 3 (gasp) hours.
    Me: All we can do is give a nebulizer tx and shot of epi
    Pt: Can I come (gasp) in at 2:30?
    Me: It's 11 a.m. If you're not going to the ER then come straight here.
    Pt: I can't make it in (gasp) until 2:30. Work won't (wheeze) let me off.
    Me: Tell your boss to call 911 if they won't let you go.

    FYI--pt came on in and we treated then admitted to the ER.
    all4neuro, letsbefriends, blaundee, and 9 others like this.
  8. 7
    In a high school health office

    Good-Can you help me get my clothes washed, my mom cooked garlic and my clothes reek

    Bad-In a high pitched, squeaky voice

    Teacher "Does my face look swollen?
    Me " yes, are you allergic to anything" all the while assessing SOB and swelling and calling for help
    Teacher " Well, I was eating some almonds and my throat began to close up"
    Me " Do you have a nut allergy?"
    Teacher " No I have eaten them my whole life"
    Me "Not anymore I think, here take this liquid benadryl and I am going to give you a shot of EPI until the FD arrives

    She goes to ER via ambulance and has another Epi and multiple infusions of prednisone/zantac

    Shocking
    Studentexplains she has stomach pain/cramping Is pregnant but not due for another week or two. Parent called and on the way.
    Student advises she feels "wet". Looks loike she passed her mucous plug. Mom picks her up and taking her in active labor to ER. (I had done a limited visual exam to make she sure she was not crowning before she went to hospital)

    Me-I call OB office to give them a heads up that she is on her way.
    Office-Is really in labor?
    Me -Well she is contracting @3-4 mins apart, her water has broken and she was in a LOT of discomfort.
    Office -Well she should have come here FIRST! You dont know of that was her plug
    Me- Nope I have no nitrazine paper but she is gonna deliver sooner than later (have prev OB office experience)
    Office-Whatever, we'll end up seeing her here anyway, Clunck down goes the phone in my ear

    End of story She delivered with in 30 mins of arrival to ER
    Last edit by NutmeggeRN on Jan 7, '13
  9. 29
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    all4neuro, SherriJones, shewentwhoa, and 26 others like this.
  10. 2
    Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRN
    Heck no, I meant L Hemispheric Stroke- long day. Whoops- that would have sucked out loud(like my post

    (
    Bahahaha! Sleepy posts are the best. I was just like "wow, they didn't teach me anything right in school! "


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