You're Right, It Is You: How do I get out of this career please?

[KalipsoRed21]

So has anyone figure out a path out of nursing yet? One that allows me as the sole earner for my family of three to live our 80K a year lifestyle? I'm honestly curious because I am ready to get out, I just don't know what to do.

I have worked past the hate and anger I have for this field. I have worked through the disillusionment of choosing a helping profession that is all about profit and uses punitive action and bullying to keep it's enslaved work force self doubting and willing to take the blame and subsequent fall for poor outcomes. Outcomes that could have only been prevented by an increased workforce with a wealth of knowledge (right now...and for the last decade plus...we've been working with to few bodies and brain drain of expertise as people just leave and there is no one to replace them), and neither of which the staff have any say in.

I just don't see a path forward in this career that is going to give me a tranquil spot. I am not looking for, "Love what you do and you will never work a day in your life.” I am just aiming to go to work, work as scheduled, have energy at the end of my day to play with my kid and do a few chores, and not have extreme paralyzingly anxiety about the insurmountable amount of work I will do when I go back OR if I forgot something important before I left. 

And, unfortunately, I don't see nursing as the kind of career worth keeping as a mindless means of income....because it just cannot be. Mostly because nursing is so abusive. Management is abusive (mentally), patients & family members are abusive (mentally & physically), doctors are abusive (mostly mentally but I've had a couple of physical as well), the demands of the career destroy your body, your mind, and your peace. It has taken me A LONG TIME to realize that I am a pretty good nurse (I'd say a 7 out of 10, with 10 being top notch). And I am sorry to use this example, because I have never experienced this in my personal life, but I feel like I have reached the point that an abused spouse does when they realize it is time to go, for good. When someone just finally realizes the gaslighting and the manipulation, the time wasted, the fact that things aren't going to get better no matter how much you try or want them to. That there is no path forward in this situation where you have the life you wanted for yourself, your family, and your partner. You are going to have to cut out the worst and start over because that is all you can do. And you deserved better from the get go. 

I have changed jobs almost every 2 years. I have worked in several states as both a traveler and a facility employee. I have worked at soooooo many hospitals. I have worked critical care, surgical care, telemetry, home care, coordination, and now work in an out patient surgical clinic.  By far my experiences with home care and now this outpatient clinic have been better than 1 micro second at bedside, but the demands always are: do everything with no resources on time and perfectly. I am tired of that pace. I am old enough to know that is not even a reasonable expectation and that there will not be a day that I succeed in doing that. I know that most, if not all, of my efforts will be in vein and then scrutinized by management so that they can get their job done. Which is always to tell me what I should have done as opposed to what I did while thinking on the fly....never a time that anyone just says, "well thanks for getting that done.”  or if unsatisfied, "I'm sorry you felt like that was your best option, let's see how we can get you some more support for the next time.” 

I don't want to go into management. I don't hate them for the crappy decisions they are also having to make, I just don't really see that their lives are any better than mine. I don't aspire to continue the crap that I've been suffering for over a decade??. I see management and NP as a means to make more money, maybe, but mostly just to work more and spend less time with the people you love. And I think I would love teaching, except my advice would be to direct them out of the field entirely. 

Sorry I am aimless here. I'm just writing down where I am in hopes of getting pointed in a direction that I actually want to go. ??

[KalipsoRed21, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, klone said:

Ha, I was a certified herbalist before I became an RN. Had a fairly successful business/website and everything. 

Well that is interesting. Do you still practice on the side? Is nursing better than your career in herbalism or is just the regular pay and the amount of pay keeping you in the nursing field?

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

What about teaching in a non-nursing capacity. They are also short on staffing these days and there may be flexible degree programs that would allow to still work part time at least and finish in a couple years. Then when your daughter is old enough for school you could both be on the same schedule? (Sorry I can't remember if you've already responded that going back for another degree isn't an option right now)

[Daisy4RN]

I (along with many others) completely understand what you are going through. Trying to work and do your best for patients within the healthcare complex is a daunting task. The system/admin doesnt care about you or the patients and only uses you up and spits you out when you are no longer able or willing to take the abuse. They simply don't care!!

That said the only advice I have to offer is to change your way of thinking in order to make the best out of a bad situation (if you truly are stuck). I did this and it made all the difference for me. No more favors to admin  (realize you are not responsible for the staffing of their hospital/facility, no more missing breaks, OT etc.). Do what you can for the patients while on the clock and leave the rest for next shift (the job will get done even if it is not you who does it), realize that you are 1 person and will not be able to get everything done (even if/because admin says you should, and they know you cant), and don't let it affect your soul just because you are a mere human who cannot do everything for everyone. You cannot care more than the people who run the hospital, they know they are asking too much but they don't care. Sometimes the patients will not receive the best care or get everything they want, this is NOT your fault or responsibility.

It is my hope that you will find either a different position or at least find some peace with the current one. And you are right to want to spend time with your family, kids do grow up fast and will be out before you know it. The quality of time is important also. don't let your job take away from that either, you will regret it later. Good luck!

[londonflo]

13 hours ago, KalipsoRed21 said:

If life could be planned, I would have met him a decade earlier and we could have had two incomes awhile. Unfortunately he spent his money on a wife that passed away and two kids before I got there.

This is similar to my life. I got married in my mid 40's, husband in his 50s. He had been married before and was paying child support for two teenagers. I knew this, of course, before we got married. We off set the child support by selling antiques. It was tough: prom dresses, first cars, college tuition but I knew that going into the marriage. I thought that when they graduated college we wouldn't spend much on them but ended up subsidizing them through graduate school.   But it has all worked out, I would not have anything different... we are both retired...yes his SS is lower than mine because he had more deductions and paid into the system less. I knew this all going in, but  I chose this life and am glad I did.  

[BunnyBunnyBSNRN, ASN, BSN]

On 12/12/2022 at 10:02 PM, Nurse Beth said:

I love Wuzzie's "I hear you".  Me, too.

Have you thought about any other roles away from the bedside, apart from day spa, if that doesn't work out? Although if you could swing it, becoming an expert in injections and working in a medical spa have its benefits. 

Maybe there is something else  in nursing that is less stressful but would still put your knowledge and experience to use. Just brain-storming...school nursing, case management, infection prevention, legal nursing, clinical documentation specialist, vendor rep (educating nurses on equipment), nurse navigator....there are so many choices. 

Um...have you done school nursing?  Less stress????  You are THE medical expert on a campus full of educators, admin, counselors, and support staff.  Sometimes, depending on the district, you may be the only medical person, or one of a few.  I left school nursing after several years for a couple different reasons, one of them being 800+ students, 4 diabetics, a host of food allergies and asthmatics.  Not to mention COVID.  Teachers who would either continually send the same kid to the nurse or just call the parent to pick up the "sick" kiddo because, despite my assessment and nursing judgement, just "knew better".  I could go on and on.  For the love of all that is good and holy in this world, do not ever say any area of nursing is "less stress".  Each area has it's own type of stress and stressors.

[KalipsoRed21, BSN, RN]

9 hours ago, JBMmom said:

What about teaching in a non-nursing capacity. They are also short on staffing these days and there may be flexible degree programs that would allow to still work part time at least and finish in a couple years. Then when your daughter is old enough for school you could both be on the same schedule? (Sorry I can't remember if you've already responded that going back for another degree isn't an option right now)

I don’t really wish to go back to school right now. But I have been told that the school teacher desperation is so bad right now that I would just have to get a certificate and then I could teach. I already have a BSN and apparently any Baccalaureate degree with a certification in education is acceptable to transition to school teacher. My cousin, who is a teacher, said she doesn’t recommend teaching. She said there is no life and death anxiety to it as there is in nursing, so that is a plus, but she tells me that she works well over 40 hours a week with a salary pay so the pay is very low. The benefits are not great and that the lack of staff and support make it almost just as bad as nursing. 

[jobellestarr]

On 12/13/2022 at 10:52 AM, Emergent said:

My advise is to look into occupational health nursing at a large construction site. You will get paid well to watch Netflix, catch a nap, and cheer on the awesome workers!

Sometimes there will be cookouts when they fire up the grill. You'll have plenty of time to keep up with the site's gossip, and there can be good opportunities to rake in big bucks if they ramp up to double shifts. 

[jobellestarr]

Another poster suggested Occupational Health which is a really good option. Although, my experience was different as it was at a Ford Auto Plant and no time for Netflix but still a good job. Also, maybe think about Employee Health at a healthcare facility. That’s a nice, non stressful job. Also, infection control. I have done both of those at a federal level and you can’t beat the pay and no patient care. I hear you and understand where you are coming from. What worked for me was working at Indian Health Service and living on an Indian reservation. Housing is provided, nice and cheap. Spent nearly 20 years there and it saved my nursing career and my mental and physical health. ❤️

[nursing jobalert]

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[klone, MSN, RN]

22 hours ago, KalipsoRed21 said:

Well that is interesting. Do you still practice on the side? Is nursing better than your career in herbalism or is just the regular pay and the amount of pay keeping you in the nursing field?

No, I haven't practiced since about 2007. I didn't enjoy the business end of things, and I felt like it was unfair to my customers. My sister, who would help me with production, bought the business from me and ran it until just a few months ago, then closed the doors. Yes, I enjoy nursing more than herbalism. Too many people in herbalism are really woowoo, also practice things like homeopathy, and I'm too science-minded to have any patience with that.

[KalipsoRed21, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, klone said:

No, I haven't practiced since about 2007. I didn't enjoy the business end of things, and I felt like it was unfair to my customers. My sister, who would help me with production, bought the business from me and ran it until just a few months ago, then closed the doors. Yes, I enjoy nursing more than herbalism. Too many people in herbalism are really woowoo, also practice things like homeopathy, and I'm too science-minded to have any patience with that.

Yeah, I could see it being that way. That is unfortunate though, I do find home based remedies and such to be interesting. I had a patient with skin cancer once, on his nose, tell me that he was doing a weekly radiation for 6 months. It was apparently a treatment used in the 1960s that had almost 100% remission rate without surgery, but it feel out of practice because it took so long. So now we do surgery and reconstruction with a few radiation treatments because it is just as effective and is faster. I just think slow, minimally invasive care is best. And old effective treatments like this should be revisited. Thank you for you response.

[subee, MSN, CRNA]

4 hours ago, klone said:

No, I haven't practiced since about 2007. I didn't enjoy the business end of things, and I felt like it was unfair to my customers. My sister, who would help me with production, bought the business from me and ran it until just a few months ago, then closed the doors. Yes, I enjoy nursing more than herbalism. Too many people in herbalism are really woowoo, also practice things like homeopathy, and I'm too science-minded to have any patience with that.

Woowoo:)  Perfect descriptor!