You're Right, It Is You: How do I get out of this career please?

[KalipsoRed21, BSN, RN]

So has anyone figure out a path out of nursing yet? One that allows me as the sole earner for my family of three to live our 80K a year lifestyle? I'm honestly curious because I am ready to get out, I just don't know what to do.

I have worked past the hate and anger I have for this field. I have worked through the disillusionment of choosing a helping profession that is all about profit and uses punitive action and bullying to keep it's enslaved work force self doubting and willing to take the blame and subsequent fall for poor outcomes. Outcomes that could have only been prevented by an increased workforce with a wealth of knowledge (right now...and for the last decade plus...we've been working with to few bodies and brain drain of expertise as people just leave and there is no one to replace them), and neither of which the staff have any say in.

I just don't see a path forward in this career that is going to give me a tranquil spot. I am not looking for, "Love what you do and you will never work a day in your life.” I am just aiming to go to work, work as scheduled, have energy at the end of my day to play with my kid and do a few chores, and not have extreme paralyzingly anxiety about the insurmountable amount of work I will do when I go back OR if I forgot something important before I left. 

And, unfortunately, I don't see nursing as the kind of career worth keeping as a mindless means of income....because it just cannot be. Mostly because nursing is so abusive. Management is abusive (mentally), patients & family members are abusive (mentally & physically), doctors are abusive (mostly mentally but I've had a couple of physical as well), the demands of the career destroy your body, your mind, and your peace. It has taken me A LONG TIME to realize that I am a pretty good nurse (I'd say a 7 out of 10, with 10 being top notch). And I am sorry to use this example, because I have never experienced this in my personal life, but I feel like I have reached the point that an abused spouse does when they realize it is time to go, for good. When someone just finally realizes the gaslighting and the manipulation, the time wasted, the fact that things aren't going to get better no matter how much you try or want them to. That there is no path forward in this situation where you have the life you wanted for yourself, your family, and your partner. You are going to have to cut out the worst and start over because that is all you can do. And you deserved better from the get go. 

I have changed jobs almost every 2 years. I have worked in several states as both a traveler and a facility employee. I have worked at soooooo many hospitals. I have worked critical care, surgical care, telemetry, home care, coordination, and now work in an out patient surgical clinic.  By far my experiences with home care and now this outpatient clinic have been better than 1 micro second at bedside, but the demands always are: do everything with no resources on time and perfectly. I am tired of that pace. I am old enough to know that is not even a reasonable expectation and that there will not be a day that I succeed in doing that. I know that most, if not all, of my efforts will be in vein and then scrutinized by management so that they can get their job done. Which is always to tell me what I should have done as opposed to what I did while thinking on the fly....never a time that anyone just says, "well thanks for getting that done.”  or if unsatisfied, "I'm sorry you felt like that was your best option, let's see how we can get you some more support for the next time.” 

I don't want to go into management. I don't hate them for the crappy decisions they are also having to make, I just don't really see that their lives are any better than mine. I don't aspire to continue the crap that I've been suffering for over a decade??. I see management and NP as a means to make more money, maybe, but mostly just to work more and spend less time with the people you love. And I think I would love teaching, except my advice would be to direct them out of the field entirely. 

Sorry I am aimless here. I'm just writing down where I am in hopes of getting pointed in a direction that I actually want to go. ??

[Davey Do]

7 hours ago, KalipsoRed21 said:

So has anyone figure out a path out of nursing yet? One that allows me as the sole earner for my family of three to live our 80K a year lifestyle? I’m honestly curious because I am ready to get out, I just don’t know what to do. 

Yes, but you wouldn't like the answer because it involves:  hard work, self-assessment, embracing your pain, experiencing illuminating revelations and a subsequent change of consciousness after dealing with trials and tribulations.

But what do I know? I'm only in a position where every nurse, now or someday, wants to be.

[FiremedicMike, RN, EMT-P]

So you want a low-stress, rewarding job with supportive bosses and good work-life balance that can financially support you and your family?

Isn't that what literally everyone on the planet is looking for?

[Davey Do]

I'm not looking for a low stress, rewarding job with supportive bosses and a good work life that financially supports me and my family.

I guess that I'm not on the planet.

[Wuzzie]

I don't understand the clap-back the OP is getting. Wanting a rewarding job with supportive managment and a good work-life balance isn't particulary unreasonable...just unreasonably difficult to find in healthcare at the moment. 

[FiremedicMike, RN, EMT-P]

25 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

I don't understand the clap-back the OP is getting. Wanting a rewarding job with supportive managment and a good work-life balance isn't particulary unreasonable...just unreasonably difficult to find in healthcare at the moment. 

My post wasn't really meant as a clap-back, it was more of a funny jab.

 

[Davey Do]

Most people post in order to get support for their perspective or merely just want attention.

People who are truly want solutions to life's problems don't post on random websites.

[Wuzzie]

14 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

People who are truly want solutions to life's problems don't post on random websites.

Kalipso has been a member here for awhile so not really random and she definitely asked if anyone here has successfully made the switch out of nursing. Where else would she have access to thousands of nurses to potentially get some helpful information? 

[Davey Do]

Questions are often asked not because the individual requires an answer, they are asked to passive-aggressively make their point.

23 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Most people post in order to get support for their perspective or merely just want attention.

We are our own best guide and by practicing Emerson's concept of lowly listening, we will find the answer for which we seek.

[Wuzzie]

1 hour ago, Davey Do said:

We are our own best guide and by practicing Emerson's concept of lowly listening, we will find the answer for which we seek.

Maybe she needs something more practical than philosophical. To assume her intent and comment on it in a way that paints her in a negative manner without having actual knowledge of said intent is more than a little presumptive. Unfortunately, I have nothing more to give her other than "I hear you" and that costs me nothing. 

Have a nice day, Davey. 

[Davey Do]

A philosophical perspective on dealing with life's problems, take Zen philosophy for example, has definite practical applications.

What one interprets as negativism, another sees it as truth.

As the saying goes, "If you want a positive perspective, talk to an optimist. If you want a realistic perspective, talk to a pessimist".

[KalipsoRed21, BSN, RN]

On 12/12/2022 at 8:31 AM, Davey Do said:

Yes, but you wouldn't like the answer because it involves:  hard work, self-assessment, embracing your pain, experiencing illuminating revelations and a subsequent change of consciousness after dealing with trials and tribulations.

But what do I know? I'm only in a position where every nurse, now or someday, wants to be.

????? awwww. Well thanks for the passive aggressive response….and for proving my point. 

Davy, you’ve been on awhile and have given me some insightful answers in the past, so thanks for those. 

Yes, I have been a whiny sniveling kid in the past about some of my life’s expectations, but frankly, only others in my life that work in healthcare share the feelings of work stress to the point I do. Would probably be the reason most are getting out.

Mostly going in to things like hydration clinics, or “men’s health” so they can advise on testosterone and hair loss supplements. I have one friend who is a realtor now and another who is a flight attendant. 

I am thinking maybe day spa. It’s 13K to get a beauty license and another )$2400 to be able to do injections. 

Problem is that beauty school is Monday-Friday 8a - 2p and I work M-F 8a-5p. I just cannot, cannot go back to the floor or work nights anymore.