You're fired

[dburkhart]

I have been a nurse for almost 20 years, first an LPN, now an RN. I have worked in long term care for the bulk of my career with a 6 month tour in an ob/gynecology office and 3 months in acute care Cardiology. Now that I have been a nurse for so long I can't seem to keep a job for more than just a few months. This last job I was buying dressing change supplies and bread and necessary items for meals on weekends. My heart is broken because I had such close relationships with so many of my residents and I am worried about their care and basic needs. But all that aside I am a good nurse, I was taught to develop good relationships with CNA'S because they can make you or break you.

When I was terminated the boss said that maybe I was burned out from being a nurse for so long and because I care for my father in law at home. I do not feel burned out. I absolutely love what I do. When I am not nursing I am lost, but my care goes deeper than just the nurse for these folks. I visit with them, I buy things for them, I do activities with them and encourage them, on top of the nursing portion. Why do I keep getting fired? Am I burnt out and just don't feel it? How do I regain control of my career and stop losing my job? Am I the only one out there with this problem? Please help, anyone!

[Emergent, RN]

You'll have give us your former boss' phone number. We can ask why you got fired.

Or, call them yourself?

[Davey Do]

Why do I keep getting fired? Am I burnt out and just don't feel it? How do I regain control of my career and stop losing my job? Am I the only one out there with this problem? Please help, anyone!

Hi dburkhart.

I was confused by your post, regarding specifics, so I did a little search, attempting to find more information in which to help.

I found one other thread from last July where you spoke of being discouraged with nursing and were considering leaving the profession. Ruby Vee gave you this advice:

Querying random strangers on the Internet isn't going to solve your problems or answer your questions. If this has happened more than once to you, you probably already have the answers. You just need to do some self-reflection and figure out what the commonalities between situations could be. Not to be insulting or hurtful, but if you keep ended up being terminated, it probably isn't THEM. It's YOU. The good news is that you have the power to change that.

As Ruby Vee stated, we all have the power to change ourselves; I like to call it a change of consciousness due to illuminating revelations. It's a long rough haul, but the payoffs are priceless.

Self-examination is a good place to start, with a close friend, therapist, Emotions Anonymous, self-help books, etc.

Let us know how we can help you, and we can be stepping stones and give advice. However, we cannot be not the whole enchilada.

The very best to you, dburkhart.

[beekee]

If you are getting fired over and over after just a couple months, there may be a huge disconnect between how you see yourself as a nurse and how others see you. I agree with the above that some self-reflection is in order. Have you become too involved with your patients? Are you the only nurse who cares, does the "right" thing, or goes above and beyond? Do you have an identity beyond "nurse"? It sounds like you never get to take off that hat, even at home.

[Wuzzie]

This last job I was buying dressing change supplies and bread and necessary items for meals on weekends. My heart is broken because I had such close relationships with so many of my residents and I am worried about their care and basic needs!

Is this normal in home health care?!

[Emergent, RN]

By you buying supplies and food, there are definite boundary issues. You are enabling the clients, instead of directing them to appropriate resources. You're instilling too high of expectations and contributing to a sense of entitlement.

You're also making your colleagues look bad if they don't do the same.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

I agree with Emergent.

Boundary issues was first thought too. While we all want what's best for our pts, buying them food is too much.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

If you are getting fired over and over after just a couple months, there may be a huge disconnect between how you see yourself as a nurse and how others see you. I agree with the above that some self-reflection is in order. Have you become too involved with your patients? Are you the only nurse who cares, does the "right" thing, or goes above and beyond? Do you have an identity beyond "nurse"? It sounds like you never get to take off that hat, even at home.

I think my previous advice is still valid, and would encourage the OP to spend some time in self-reflection now. Reading this new post, I suspect that you are having issues setting appropriate boundaries with your patients. Not only are you too involved, but you are making your colleagues, who have more appropriate boundaries, look bad.

Perhaps some counseling would help you with the self reflection process and encourage you to develop boundaries. There may be some counseling available on a sliding scale fee through Catholic Family Services, Lutheran Family Services or through some other faith based ministry. Others may have more helpful suggestions for finding counseling in your area. Please take the time and make the effort to figure out where your sabatoging yourself at work NOW, before it gets any worse and before you have burned through all of the employers in your area. YOU are worth spending the time and the money to figure this out.

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

Is this normal in home health care?!

No and it's strongly discouraged. Social service referrals can be made for these issues

[Buyer beware, BSN]

Is this normal in home health care?!

OP:

Far be it for me to kick you when you're down, but listen to what the folks are saying here.

Like an old girlfriend of mine in high school once told me "Buyer beware, you're being too--

Clingy...Clingy...Clingy....!!!"

That was right before she dumped me. But she sure was Purdy though.

Sometimes you just gotta save yourself from yourself before someone else does it for you my colleague.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Your heart is in the right place, but you get too involved. You need to develop healthy boundaries. I really hope you turn it around. I am rooting for you.

[middleagednurse]

Apparently you work long term care. Forget about buying things for people. Do you do your job properly? Are you doing what you were hired to do? Do you follow your job description? Are you following nurse practice guidelines? Are you completing everything you're supposed to complete? How is your documentation? LTCs don't hire nurses to be "nice".