You're fired

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I have been a nurse for almost 20 years, first an LPN, now an RN. I have worked in long term care for the bulk of my career with a 6 month tour in an ob/gynecology office and 3 months in acute care Cardiology. Now that I have been a nurse for so long I can't seem to keep a job for more than just a few months. This last job I was buying dressing change supplies and bread and necessary items for meals on weekends. My heart is broken because I had such close relationships with so many of my residents and I am worried about their care and basic needs. But all that aside I am a good nurse, I was taught to develop good relationships with CNA'S because they can make you or break you.

When I was terminated the boss said that maybe I was burned out from being a nurse for so long and because I care for my father in law at home. I do not feel burned out. I absolutely love what I do. When I am not nursing I am lost, but my care goes deeper than just the nurse for these folks. I visit with them, I buy things for them, I do activities with them and encourage them, on top of the nursing portion. Why do I keep getting fired? Am I burnt out and just don't feel it? How do I regain control of my career and stop losing my job? Am I the only one out there with this problem? Please help, anyone!

In different circumstances one could quickly say that you are trying to "buy" love or acceptance. Explore this avenue with a counselor and you may be able to change at least one area of your behavior that is getting you into trouble.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
When I was terminated the boss said that maybe I was burned out from being a nurse for so long and because I care for my father in law at home.
How does the boss know you care for your father-in-law at home?

If you divulged this information, perhaps it is time to refrain from discussing your personal home life with coworkers and management until you have built a solid rapport with them.

Sharing aspects of your personal life too early in the coworker relationship is known as oversharing, a.k.a. boundaryless sharing. Coworkers who do not really know you all that well can and will use anything you say against you, as evidenced by your former boss mentioning your home caregiving duties with your father-in-law at the same time your employment was being terminated.

Loose lips sink ships. Learn to be tight-lipped. Good luck to you.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

What area of nursing have you been employed in as an RN? Did you have these same issues when you were an LPN? The reason I ask is that it is possible that even though you're an RN, you might be still practicing with an LPN train-of-thought. As a former longtime (24 years) LPN myself, I once believed that I was doing the exact same job in acute care as an RN. But there was a difference, especially in the area of documentation...specifically the care plans (creating, revising, resolving). There were other 'tasks', too, that I completed on a regular basis that LPNs were not allowed to do, which made the difference.

i used to ask myself why did becoming an RN seem to slow my pace. Why couldn't I complete the same job now in the same timeframe as before? Self-reflection revealed that my pace had not slowed; the workload/job responsibility had actually increased. I was fulfilling the duties of the job, not realizing the additional responsibilities and tasks I'd been completing...until I did the self-reflection. It really was not 'totally' the same job.

I say all that to say this. The repeated terminations may be a result of continued performance on an LPN level, meaning that you've yet to demonstrate the professional performance that is expected of an RN. All the things that you described were nice 'touches'. But where did that leave your RN responsibilities? The things you described (a lot of them) does/did not require an RN to do.

In my experience, it is rare that licensed nurses have the time to do what you described above. In fact, the only time I have ever had the time to "visit with the patients" is when I was doing in-home, 8-hour shift assignments in home health as an LPN. No choice but to visit with that.

If these terminations were happening during your LPN years as well, then it is possible that you subconsciously resent the responsibilities that nurses (LPNs and RNs) have, and just really enjoy the practical aspect of simply being a caregiver. We all have those moments. I would love to go in to work tonight and be asked to take on the role of the tech....would love it!!! Has it ever happened to me? No!! I've had to be the tech, nurse, housekeeper, waitress...all on the same shift. Pleeeeease don't get me started!!

Just something to think about.....since you did ask.

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Thank you for all your insight. Sometimes it takes someone outside the situation to help. I am so glad I posted here. I will be doing some definite self reflection and stepping out of myself to improve. Husbands are no help because I in his eyes I'm perfect but to you all I'm not so you have raised some good questions for me to ask myself. Thanks to everyone. I will keep you posted.

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Your comments help me to see where my issue has started and that is with my transition from Lpn to RN that may be the problemishes. I need to reflect on this and make a commitment to myself to think more in the RN role. Thank you.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I echo the others. I tend to think the problem lies with you. I don't think you are a "bad" nurse at all. But I really think you would benefit from therapy/life counseling. No one here is qualified to advise you other than tell you to get some counseling. Boundaries were breached in your case. Healthy boundaries help not only you, but your patient and colleagues.

Get some counseling. I wish you well.

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In different circumstances one could quickly say that you are trying to "buy" love or acceptance. Explore this avenue with a counselor and you may be able to change at least one area of your behavior that is getting you into trouble.

I agree with this. I have a lot of years in Home Health and have seen those that try to take care of patients by buying them food etc. From my experienced perspective, that is a nurse who hasn't learned how to advocate and utilize appropriate resources. A strong voice and knowledge of local resources will get the patient fed long term and not merely temporarily with bandaid sandwiches that are bought out of misplaced altruism.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I want to add that the temptation to discuss your FIL with your patients and what you do for him at home is probably overwhelming. I don't know if you do or do not overshare at work about your home life, but I am betting from all you have said that you do. Your patients should have no idea what goes on with your home life and that you have a relative you care for.

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Specializes in CICU, Telemetry.

If you're using your boss, co-workers, and patients as your social interaction, and telling them too much about yourself, doing too much for them...That's what FRIENDS are for. You need FRIENDS. If you already have them, you need to find some time outside of work to hang out with them. You're describing a totally appropriate relationship between friends. And you're saying that nursing has consumed your life and is your identity, so no wonder you're trying to have some overlap and think everyone you see at work wants to be friends.

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Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.

I agree with Emergent.

Boundary issues was first thought too. While we all want what's best for our pts, buying them food is too much.

Most home care staff have done something nice for your patients on occasion, but that should be a rare occurrence. I think I left to pick up a prescription once that was really needed, but also explicitly stated it was a one time deal, which she agreed to.

The other time I bought some roach motels for a patient in an infested SRO. She offered to pay, but I told her merry christmas, and we got her in a nursing home soon afterward.

If we brought a patient short term food, we also brought a social worker for long term planning.

That's about it for 13 years in homecare.

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