Yep. I have no friends in school.

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I have been in my program for a year and a half, it's a 4 year BSN. I came as a transfer student. I am a little older, I am 28. A huge chunk of my cohorts are under 21, and a bunch are about my age with kids and there is a few who are older (40+). I really love my teachers, but my classmates make me feel like I'm a alien from outer space.

I have studied with a girl from one of my classes, but I feel like she is always annoyed with me. I asked her if she wanted to study for finals together and she said she was going out of town and was going to study while driving down there. I told her okay and that I hoped everything was okay.

Then I go to school to study, and she's there with another group of girls. Ouch.

My brother goes to a local state college and (mine is private) and he said it's because my school has a reputation of having stuck up girls.

They all get along together and then there is me, a little bigger (wt wise), my hair isn't perfect every day (I have 2 kids and my husband travels, and I work in evenings), and I don't have any piercings/tattoos. I'm pretty plain. I speak up in class, and try and talk to people but they just don't seem to like me. What is wrong with me?

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Specializes in LDRP.

Nothing is wrong with you!

This sounds like my ABSN program - no matter what I did there were cliques and I just didn't seem to fit in. Sometimes in life this will happen, whether it's nursing school or not. Just remember that you're in nursing school to become a nurse, not to become a socialite. Rely on your out of school friends and family for support and do what you've got to do to get that degree! By no means is there anything wrong with you. Sometimes in life it's easy to make friends and sometimes it's just not.

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Specializes in Hospice, Palliative Care.

Nothing is wrong with you. You are not alone. Sadly, this happens too often. A friend I rarely get to see due to being in RN school asked me what is my biggest challenge in nursing school; I shared three. One of the three is feeling like an outcast because there's not a single click/group where I fit in or am even asked to try to fit in; when I do try, there's no effort on the part of others to help with the journey. So I stick it out alone. My wife shares it is because I'm in my 50's, and a father figure (so to write) as most of my classmates are in their 20's (a handful in their 30's, a smaller handful in their 40's) and I'm just one of seven males in my graduating class (the oldest guy besides me is in his 30's).

My last advanced med surg clinical was a sim/lab. The week prior I brought in a card for everyone to sign and give to the staff at the cardiac step down unit were we had our clinical. Two ladies where missing because they had sim that week (mine was the following). My instructor asked if I wanted her to give the "thank you card" to the staff that Thursday I was there (vs. the following week), and I said wait until next week to make sure the other two ladies got to sign the card as well. To me, that's trying to think of everyone. That week came, they signed, and then took a group photo (I was in sim) of everyone there (but me), and posted it on Facebook sharing with everyone this was their clinical group (no mention of me; i.e. Peter had sim that day, and couldn't be in the picture). Awkward.

I don't think it's me; I don't think it's you. I think it's a combination of factors including the current generation that would fight for the 1 in 2,400 in America that is transgender to use a bathroom of their choice, yet not have the same empathy for a fellow classmate to help them feel a part of the team.

What I continue to do, and hope that it will make a difference in the long run, is to do my best to be nice to all nursing students (no matter the semester), and professors. I'll continue to do thank you cards. I will continue to hope and pray for change. Yet, I will not let it get me down if change doesn't happen (I'm not in control). I would recommend that you continue to be yourself, continue to love your teachers and everyone around you, continue to talk, etc.

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It's not you but there's things you can do to help yourself be more likeable!

1. If you're laughed at, or realize you said or did something "silly" or "weird" or whatever, LAUGH. laugh a little and as you do, look the people around you in the eye. I found 9/10 times the other person will genuinely laugh back WITH me.

2. Don't think of anyone there as stuck up because it will show. Forget what the reputation is or what your brother says because everyone has something in their past, I don't care where they come from or how old.

3. Find out why the girl didn't want to study with you. Why not what would you have to lose?

4. All else fails, tone it down (if you're not) and just concentrate in class and do well. People will flock to you when you do well usually.

And I know this sounds so untrue but if you feel like an outcast or unliked, it shows and comes true. I'm that "younger generation" and I try to bring quiet classmates out of their shell or ones sitting alone, but I won't keep trying if they keep thinking "I don't fit in. I'm different. I'm not young. I'm not perfect" or whatever because you know it takes 2 people..

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I wouldn't worry about those other people. I went to a small liberal arts college for my previous degree and the social life there was also a bit inbred. If you can make it this far in your program without too many other people, you can make it the rest of the way, too. Honestly, it sounds like some of the people in your cohort aren't really people you want in your life anyway. You go to school to get a degree. If you do that, you're successful and that's all that really matter. If you make a few friends along the way, so be it. But it shouldn't be your main focus by any standard.

Wish you all the best :p

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From your description, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing.

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Specializes in ICU.

I had that. I have a couple people outside of class I talk to. They excluded me on some of the big decisions for the class and I always found out stuff later.

Realize this is a couple years of your life. Most of those people won't matter after graduation. You are paying for this education and get the most out of it.

Truly, focus on your family and studies. You will be better off when you stop worrying about everybody else. It's a very freeing feeling!!

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I felt like I kinda sorta fit in during my LPN and RN schooling in community college.

THEN. Fast forward to university for BSN pre-reqs at the ripe old age of 33. Fiiiish ouuut of waaatter doesn't even touch the surface. Different life/career stages, different priorities, interests...ehm, fashion sense (sorry! I must be a prude, but I do not wear shorts that show part of my butt!) I feel ya.

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Aww, I would be your friend!! [emoji53]

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing, Pediatrics.

School isn't for making friends. I was the youngest one in my class and just learned to deal with being "different".

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Specializes in Care Coordination, Care Management.

That's tough. I know people say you're not there to make friends, but it would have been VERY difficult to make it through school without the support of my classmates. No one else understands exactly what you are going through.

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

There is nothing wrong with you. I don't have any really good friends in nursing school. There are just a few people I like. I don't like most of the students, but I try to be nice to everyone.

The girl who lied to you is a twit. Good riddance.

It's possible they're all twits, but unlikely. Give some of the older people a try, someone with kids and a husband like you.

And if that doesn't work out just focus on your study and friends outside of school.

I work so much better alone.

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