Published
I once was in the grocery store and walked by a mother with an approximately 6 month old in the cart. Sickest looking kid I've seen outside of the hospital. And then I heard the distinctive whoop of pertussis and watched that poor baby turn all shades of purple and gasp for air. I just could not keep on walking so I identified myself as a PICU nurse and that I suspected her child had whooping cough and needed to be seen immediately. She got all kinds of huffy and called me some really vile names. The kid arrested in the check out line.
I'm kind of in a quandry about this, the other day I was in the post office and the guy in front of me had a large bad looking growth on his neck. I figure there was no way he couldn't not know about it but it was on the back of his neck, but then I started to wonder if I should say something to him about getting it looked at. I ended up deciding to mind my own business and not say anything. But anyone else ever encountered this? Did you say anything? A nurse friend of mine told me she saw a lady sitting in front of her in a movie theater with a mole that looked like skin cancer and just leaned over and said "I'm a nurse you need to get your mole checked" The woman spit out her popcorn and changed her seat. I mean it seems right to say something but it also seems wrong, like invading privacy.
If I were 100% sure of what I was talking about, I might say something. "Excuse me, Sir. There's a knife sticking out of the back of your head and you should seek medical attention immediately."
If it's more of a, "Hey, you might be dying, but I'm not sure. Maybe check with someone else?" No. I wouldn't say that.
Mr. MMJ has had a slow growing lipoma on his neck for 40+ years. He is not bothered by it in the least (it's a little smaller than a golf ball now). At least weekly someone tells him he has cancer or asks him if he knows he has this growth on his neck. He feels neglected if a week goes by without a "diagnosis".
I am definitely all about minding my own business. I can't be concerned about every stranger and every possible ailment they *might* be suffering from walking around this earth. Definitely an invasion of privacy to me anyway. Even if someone asked me what something might be I would just tell them I'm not qualified to diagnose and if they are concerned to go seek medical attention.
No, no, no. I feel like as nurses we have some kind of radar anyways, even in street clothes. I swear every time I'm waiting in line somewhere I hear someone's life story or health problems. I don't even identify myself as a nurse.
Something already compels strangers to tell me personal issues, I'm not inviting more of that in!
I wouldn't mention anything to a stranger unless I was pretty sure they were going to die more or less immediately. Friend or family member I have a lower bar for minding my own business so I might speak up sooner. But generally I try to mind my own business unless I'm directly asked about it.
Ambersmom, BSN, RN
189 Posts
I'm kind of in a quandry about this, the other day I was in the post office and the guy in front of me had a large bad looking growth on his neck. I figure there was no way he couldn't not know about it but it was on the back of his neck, but then I started to wonder if I should say something to him about getting it looked at. I ended up deciding to mind my own business and not say anything. But anyone else ever encountered this? Did you say anything? A nurse friend of mine told me she saw a lady sitting in front of her in a movie theater with a mole that looked like skin cancer and just leaned over and said "I'm a nurse you need to get your mole checked" The woman spit out her popcorn and changed her seat. I mean it seems right to say something but it also seems wrong, like invading privacy.