So, lately, I have been thinking about where I want to be in my career. While I'm not 100% sure where I would like to end up, I do know that my current situation is not one in which I wish to be in forever. I currently work two jobs, one as a nurse and one as a tech. The tech job has become so simple that it's becoming very routine and there are few challenges left for me in the area. While I greatly enjoy everyone that I work with, the job itself is not as fulfilling as I would like.
My other job is as a nurse at a rehab/ltc facility. While my basic nursing skills have greatly improved, I also feel that there are still more things to learn from this job, and am considering investing more time in this job so I can expand my skills and nursing knowledge. I am also considering switching departments at my one job so I am working as a nurse, and not a tech. I feel that I am ready to challenge myself in a different area of nursing.
The thing is, in order to do these things, I probably would have to lead my tech job. And there comes the dilemma: I am currently dating someone who I am working with in that area. While we greatly enjoy each other's company and share many interests, I am concerned that my attempts to advance my career may result in the loss of the relationship.
Truth is, while we talk with each other a lot, it seems to be mostly work related. While I try and open myself up, my boyfriend does not seem to reveal a lot about himself. In fact, sometimes I find out things about him from coworkers, and not him. When we are texting back and forth, it is generally me doing most of the talking. I generally have to initiate most of the contacts, including coming up with ideas for dates. He does not seem to have many interests, and has very little personal information to contribute to discussions. He also seems to lack ambition and passion for anything.
At the same time, he is a great guy that treats me well. Most of our friends and family feel that we are a great match, although my mom suspects that this may be more of a friendship than a serious relationship. We get asked a lot when we are getting married or having children.
I would feel bad if I chose to move on and my plans ended up not including him, especially since he is a very nice person. It would also mean that I would probably be single again, and with my 27th birthday coming up, time is running out to find someone to marry. At the same time, my desire to have a successful nursing career came LONG before I met him.
So I guess I'm a little mixed. Do I continue in my current positions so I can be sure that I am still in a relationship? Or do I go for the career that I have worked very hard for and continue to work hard for, and risk losing the relationship?
I have so many questions but mostly why are you working as a tech if you are a registered nurse? I'd check the board of nursing in your state and make sure that is allowed if I were you.
I think you're spending too much time worrying about other people's expectations of you. Do what you want - it's your career and your life. I certainly wouldn't recommend staying in a nursing assistant position if you are a registered nurse.
I have so many questions but mostly why are you working as a tech if you are a registered nurse? I'd check the board of nursing in your state and make sure that is allowed if I were you.
I think you're spending too much time worrying about other people's expectations of you. Do what you want - it's your career and your life. I certainly wouldn't recommend staying in a nursing assistant position if you are a registered nurse.
I am working as an ECG technician, not as a nursing assistant. I continue to work at this job because I've enjoyed the department and the people I'm working with. It will give me great recommendations if I choose to transfer at this employer. I'm not sure why I shouldn't be allowed to work this position? Even though I'm an RN and no one else, except the head manager, is one, I don't see what the problem is. All it means is that I'm overqualified for the position, in a sense. Obviously, I have to accept lower pay. I don't think my employer would let me do something the BON would not approve of. Just because I do have an RN license, doesn't necessarily mean I have to work as one. At least, I don't think so.
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
I am working as an ECG technician, not as a nursing assistant. I continue to work at this job because I've enjoyed the department and the people I'm working with. It will give me great recommendations if I choose to transfer at this employer. I'm not sure why I shouldn't be allowed to work this position? Even though I'm an RN and no one else, except the head manager, is one, I don't see what the problem is. All it means is that I'm overqualified for the position, in a sense. Obviously, I have to accept lower pay. I don't think my employer would let me do something the BON would not approve of. Just because I do have an RN license, doesn't necessarily mean I have to work as one. At least, I don't think so.
I can answer this seriously (for once).
In my state at least, RNs and LPNs may work as CNAs/techs/clerks/whathaveyou as long as they are paid per that pay grade and do not perform any job function that could only be performed by a licensed nurse. Unfortunately, the over-saturation of the job market has made this necessary for many new grads (it's improved, at least) and can be helpful for nurses whose licenses may be on probation or suspended.
Your BF is not open about his life, his goals, his dreams, and he wasn't honest about a test he didn't pass. I would move on, whether you switch jobs or not, this is not a great relationship. Of course if you just want a friend with benefits, that's cool, but don't let that relationship hold you back in your career.
Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.
Yeah, our department is interesting in that there have been at least three dating couples within it. One couple moved away and are living with each other, raising the girl's son. Another couple are expecting a baby together. Now I think a lot of our coworkers are expecting us to do the same thing...get married, have babies.
But before this, I would have never dreamt I would be dating someone I work with. Also is there anything out there that says legally, a licensed nurse should not be dating a coworker? I'm just curious. I know it's not necessarily the best idea, but are there legal implications?
Ok, to be more blunt you are flirting with disaster ....if you are truly a lis. Nurse working as a they.... ( I have no idea why).... Your state BON, holds you to standard of your lis., if you are lis.nurse , he is a tech......you are having a "relationship" with a suborndant, in the board of nursing eyes......things may go astray, you would or could be seen as sexual harassment, exploitation, maybe loose your job, maybe face displinary action from your state board........you have said, he really has nothing going for him.....You are flirting with disaster! I don't know, I only have a humble 45 years experience and been head nurse, supvisor, and hiring mgr.,Don, Several times......the first action I would take is to "let you go, as terminate you......" Because even though you work as Tech...I know BON position!
Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.
There are no policies in my workplace against coworkers dating, although it may change from department to department
There is federal case law on superior, relationship with suborndant, in a BON eyes you are the superior, ie you are RN working as as you say an EKG tech.......but it you that has the lis., regardless of what you are doing, and that he is only a tech.....LOOK at liability and the big picture
The lack of interests and goals, and the fact that he doesn't open up to you or take initiative in planning any time together says enough. Let this relationship be separate from work, because it really needs to be. Move on and find work that stimulates you! A quality partner will only be supportive and encouraging of that. Not only will you be more satisfied professionally, but it will give you a chance to see what this relationship and this guy are made of. Why on earth would you give up a career for a guy? You can have both; just maybe not the ones you have now.
I can understand the fear of moving on. I started dating someone I met at my first nursing job. Things were going well for us, but I wanted to advance my career too and try something different; plus, working with your SO is pretty weird dynamics. Initially I had the same worry you did, that we might not have much in common after I left the job. I'm excited to say that it hasn't been an issue; we connect on other common interests much more now than before, with the added bonus of not needing to worry about breaking any sort of policy. It's so worth the leap of faith!
Also, your 20s is no time to be stressing about finding a husband and starting a family. Those things can add a lot to your life, but real happiness is so much more fundamentally about the qualities and dreams you've got in you than who is around you.
You are providing a lot of information about your boyfriend and yourself that make it possible for him and/or your colleagues to identify both of you. It seems like he has an introverted personality, how do you think he will feel about you discussing him on a public forum?
I would talk to him about your plans with a deadline of when you are moving and wait for a reaction. If he makes a comment about having to quit his job or having to find another, then that would indicate his feelings about going with you. If he responds without talking about him moving with you, then you have your answer.
I would feel bad if I chose to move on and my plans ended up not including him, especially since he is a very nice person. It would also mean that I would probably be single again, and with my 27th birthday coming up, time is running out to find someone to marry.
What an odd thing to say. You don't marry someone simply because they are nice, male, and just happen to be in the picture in time to meet some arbitrary marriage deadline you've established in your mind.
You don't sound even remotely in love with this person. What a recipe for divorce. Patently unfair to this "nice guy" and any future children. Cut him loose so he can find the girl who absolutely cannot imagine life without him. You are certainly not that woman.
Well, it's not that I don't think he would be supportive of my career advancements, but I do wonder how long the relationship would last since most of our discussions involve work. Without working at the same place, there may be little to base our relationship off of, since, for some reason, he is not willing to reveal much about himself and does not appear to have any interests to have a conversation about. He doesn't appear to have any goals in life and when I try to learn more about him and his background, he doesn't go into much detail. I feel like he's had challenges in in life that he's not sharing, and I feel that in a serious relationship, both people should be willing to share those details. For example, we have a certification exam that we are all supposed to pass, but, I have looked up his name on the site that verifies our certification (just like the BON website has an option to view those who have licenses), and his name is not there. Yet, he goes around pretending that he's passed the exam, even though I'm almost positive he has not. If he had trouble passing the exam, I wish he would just be open about it. I don't really care that he's not a good test taker, but I do care that he won't share his struggles.
At the same time, maybe he's just a slow one to open up. Maybe I'm expecting too much after almost a year of dating. And I don't want to cut out someone who could be a good match just because I'm ambitious and want to do more with my life and nursing career.
How long have you been with him? Doesnt seem like that long the way it sounds. I mean do you have to end it if you go to the other job full time? Cant you just see how things go? If it fizzles out, it fizzles out and you will know for sure then. But seriously just because everything looks good on paper about this relationship, doesnt mean its a reason to keep it going. (in my opinion, everything doesnt look good about this relationship). You know you feel something off/ just not quite right, follow your gut. Sure he may be a nice person, doesnt mean you have to stick things out just for that.
RotorRunner
84 Posts
I have so many questions but mostly why are you working as a tech if you are a registered nurse? I'd check the board of nursing in your state and make sure that is allowed if I were you.
I think you're spending too much time worrying about other people's expectations of you. Do what you want - it's your career and your life. I certainly wouldn't recommend staying in a nursing assistant position if you are a registered nurse.