Would you be insulted?

[ThePrincessBride]

Would you be insulted if you were never asked to precept and people with less experience than you were being asked to precept left and right?

I have been at my job for three years. The clinical nurse educator used to work on the floor and she precepted me and basically told me I was too stupid to work in the specialty. I ended up having to ask for a different preceptor and the two new ones I got disagreed and here we are three years later. She was promoted as clinical nurse educator and I can tell she hates me or at the very least thinks lowly of me.

I asked a fellow coworker (one I trust) if I should be worried, if it means that I am too stupid or terrible. She says I should consider myself lucky. Also, if I was so terrible, I would have been fired ages ago.

I would have thought with the extremely high turnover and the fact that I am quickly becoming more experienced that I would have been asked but then I remembered my history with the nurse educator.

How should I approach this, if at all? It isn't that I necessarily want to precept, but it bothers me that there may be a reason I haven't been asked.

Or should I thank my lucky stars?

[Fiona59]

Been nursing nearly 20 years and have only preceptored when coworkers were ill.

One manager told me I’d be a great preceptor but only full time staff preceptored and I was part time.

My next manager treated me worse than the poop on her shoe, basically I wasn’t fit to preceptor because of her views of me. But whenever there was homeless/difficult/Addict patient, they were mine. I work well with that population.

My new unit doesn’t take preceptor requiring students. Nobody misses this role. Our turnover rate is low, so orientations are few and far between, staff that’s do come, for the most part, know the job and just need to learn the routine.

There are bigger thing so in the world to worry about.

[Wuzzie]

On 2/24/2019 at 9:41 AM, Hoosier_RN said:

Look at it as a blessing. If someone performs poorly, can’t be blamed on you or the educators perceived incompetency of you.

Yeah this! I think you're dodging a bullet. You can bet if one of your orientees screws up your educator will be all over you in a heartbeat which could very well affect your future. I've worked in NICU, it can be brutal. Better to keep your head down and your eyes on your future.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

On 2/23/2019 at 10:04 AM, ThePrincessBride said:

Thanks for your reply.

I guess I am just bummed out and feel a little disrespected, as though my three years means nothing. I know she is shocked that I lasted this long.

The good news is that I am going to grad school and dropping to part-time work so I have one foot out of the door, so I won't have to tolerate this for much longer.

If you're going to grad school and dropping to part time, that is very likely the reason you aren't asked to precept. You aren't invested in the unit. People who are likely to stay are the ones who should be precepting.

Also, if you got off on the wrong foot with the educator, that may be a factor.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

On 2/23/2019 at 10:43 AM, ThePrincessBride said:

Thanks for the reply.

I have definitely become introverted mostly due to the cliques and back-stabbing on the unit (and I wonder if this is part of the reason we are losing so many nurses). I never call off (ever) and have worked overtime and picked up in the past. I also did some committee work.

But I really don't fit in, being black and childless on a unit with mostly white, young to middle-age mothers. So of course, we don't interact much and I am excluded from out-of-unit activities. I have been coping by throwing myself into patient care but I do feel lonely and isolated at times.

I just sometimes feel like some of my co-workers think little of me like I am black tar on the bottom of a shoe (points for anyone who knows the reference), so I just stay quiet.

As a fellow introvert, and with years and years of experience behind me, I can point out that you've been isolating yourself. You're choosing not to interact much with your colleagues, and as a result, you're excluded from out-of-unit activities. It's probably too late to turn this around after three years, especially when you're planning to ease yourself out of the unit anyway. But in the future, try NOT to isolate yourself, even if you don't like your colleagues. (That comes across clearly in your writing, and may come across far more clearly than you think it does in real life.)

People like others who they think like them. So, act like you like them. Be the first one to say hello, spend a few minutes chatting with them every single day. What cute thing did their three year old do? (Yeah, I know -- I'm not interested in kids, either, especially kids that aren't related to me.). What cute thing did your cat or your turtle do? Wasn't that commute HORRIBLE this morning? Really? A semi jack-knifed? You hope everyone is OK. This weather has got to be good for their garden -- you hope the squirrels are staying out of it.

That kind of thing always seemed like a waste of time to me, and I "got it" far too late in life. I hope you learn earlier than I did, and maybe you won't feel so isolated in your next job.

(This may also be the reason they haven't asked you to precept. Precepting at it's best requires socializing the orientee to your unit as well as teaching them to do the job.)

[mrf0609]

You discussed feeling different due to being black and single. My unit has many different ages and races, we all treat each other with respect and get along, creating a nice environment. Perhaps the difference you feel about yourself is self limiting, creating a barrier due to attitude. It sounds like you are not truly vested in your unit. This may be a very good reason why you are not precepting, a negative attitude can really affect a new person. Just a thought.... Best of luck on your new journey!

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

15 hours ago, Ruby Vee said:

If you're going to grad school and dropping to part time, that is very likely the reason you aren't asked to precept. You aren't invested in the unit. People who are likely to stay are the ones who should be precepting.

Also, if you got off on the wrong foot with the educator, that may be a factor.

I actually just asked to go part time and part-time workers can and do precept.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

I would probably feel the same way, even if I didn't want to precept, so I get where you are coming from.

You are rising above it by going back to school for NP.

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

As a master trainer in my facility it seems I am always precepting someone. While I do love training I sometimes have to ask to supes to knock it off so I can get some work done.

Hppy

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

14 hours ago, mrf0609 said:

You discussed feeling different due to being black and single. My unit has many different ages and races, we all treat each other with respect and get along, creating a nice environment. Perhaps the difference you feel about yourself is self limiting, creating a barrier due to attitude. It sounds like you are not truly vested in your unit. This may be a very good reason why you are not precepting, a negative attitude can really affect a new person. Just a thought.... Best of luck on your new journey!

Funny you say that. I work in a different unit contingent that is extremely diverse and I stay because I love my co-workers, there are no cliques. And with so many people leaving and some who have privately told me that it is due to cliques and not feeling welcomed or belonging (both black and white, male and female), I can say without a doubt that there is a problem on my unit that goes beyond me.

Now, if it was just me saying this, I would be inclined to agree but I can't as too many other nurses have left for similar reasons.

I used to be invested, did committee work and everything but I am mentally done with the BS, though I plaster a smile on my face and 'fake it'

[saongiri]

I have found that a sense of inclusion comes from the unit/department head right on down. there is no reason that if you have proven to be an safe, effective nurse with three years experience, that you should not precept. I'd be mad to if I were you. Precepting is an important,valuable experience for both the preceptee and the preceptor and you shouldn't be denied to opportunity. I think you already know the answer to your question and the reasons why it's happening. I would absolutely bring it up and continue your plan of exiting the unit ASAP. Don't be surprised if they do assign you a preceptee that there will be efforts made to make the experience unsuccessful for both of you.

[FineAgain]

On 2/23/2019 at 11:30 AM, klone said:

Hubby wants me to actually get dressed and go out with him

Dressed? On your day off? The horrors!

[klone, MSN, RN]

ik, r?