Would you be insulted?

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

Would you be insulted if you were never asked to precept and people with less experience than you were being asked to precept left and right?

I have been at my job for three years. The clinical nurse educator used to work on the floor and she precepted me and basically told me I was too stupid to work in the specialty. I ended up having to ask for a different preceptor and the two new ones I got disagreed and here we are three years later. She was promoted as clinical nurse educator and I can tell she hates me or at the very least thinks lowly of me.

I asked a fellow coworker (one I trust) if I should be worried, if it means that I am too stupid or terrible. She says I should consider myself lucky. Also, if I was so terrible, I would have been fired ages ago.

I would have thought with the extremely high turnover and the fact that I am quickly becoming more experienced that I would have been asked but then I remembered my history with the nurse educator.

How should I approach this, if at all? It isn't that I necessarily want to precept, but it bothers me that there may be a reason I haven't been asked.

Or should I thank my lucky stars?

[Katillac, RN]

I think you have a pretty good understanding of why you haven't been asked; the nurse educator has a different opinion of you than your co-workers do. To confirm that, you'd need to in some way confront her which may not have a good outcome for you. Why push for an answer that may carry consequences when you already have a good idea of what the answer is?

Precepting takes time and energy. With the high turnover in nursing, many experienced nurses are getting pretty burned out pushing that revolving door. On the other hand, I wouldn't thank my lucky stars, either. Teaching has, for me, been a great way to bring together my own knowledge of something and point out places where I need more depth of understanding.

But I'd leave it alone and continue doing your good job. The nurse educator will come to see - or she won't - that you've grown in your practice.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

18 minutes ago, Katillac said:

I think you have a pretty good understanding of why you haven't been asked; the nurse educator has a different opinion of you than your co-workers do. To confirm that, you'd need to in some way confront her which may not have a good outcome for you. Why push for an answer that may carry consequences when you already have a good idea of what the answer is?

Precepting takes time and energy. With the high turnover in nursing, many experienced nurses are getting pretty burned out pushing that revolving door. On the other hand, I wouldn't thank my lucky stars, either. Teaching has, for me, been a great way to bring together my own knowledge of something and point out places where I need more depth of understanding.

But I'd leave it alone and continue doing your good job. The nurse educator will come to see - or she won't - that you've grown in your practice.

Thanks for your reply.

I guess I am just bummed out and feel a little disrespected, as though my three years means nothing. I know she is shocked that I lasted this long.

The good news is that I am going to grad school and dropping to part-time work so I have one foot out of the door, so I won't have to tolerate this for much longer.

[klone, MSN, RN]

The reason why you haven't been asked to precept is because the nurse educator (or whoever is in charge of assigning preceptors) does not feel you would be good in that role, for whatever reason. Whether or not you choose to be offended by that fact is up to you.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

4 minutes ago, klone said:

The reason why you haven't been asked to precept is because the nurse educator (or whoever is in charge of assigning preceptors) does not feel you would be good in that role, for whatever reason. Whether or not you choose to be offended by that fact is up to you.

How would you respond in my situation?

[klone, MSN, RN]

It would depend on how badly I cared. From your post, it sounds like you're scaling back, going to school, and plan on quitting that job at some point. With that in mind, I probably wouldn't invite the additional responsibilities of precepting. If it's simply idle curiosity, I might say "Hey, not that I'm asking to be a preceptor, but just wondering why I have never been chosen."

A story from my past (this may or may not resonate with you - take it for what it's worth) - my second job as an RN, I was back to working nights, which I hated. The policy of this new facility was that OB nurses had to work mom/baby 75% of the time, and L&D 25% of the time. I hated Mom/Baby, only wanted to work L&D. Apparently, my hatred of nights and my hatred of working mom/baby was very apparent in my attitude. My introverted personality meant that I didn't interact much with the other nurses, didn't go out for breakfast with them after work, didn't participate in outside activities with them. Due to hating nights, I called off a lot, and frequently put myself on the list to be called off for low census.

I tried to volunteer for committees or special projects, but was never chosen. I volunteered to precept, but was never chosen. After a year, I felt isolated, not part of the group, and disrespected. I quit and found a different job.

With many years behind me, and now a nurse director, I reflect on my time at that job and realize how much of my not fitting in was self-sabotage.

Okay, gotta go. Hubby wants me to actually get dressed and go out with him, so I'm going to end this now. But just food for thought.

[JKL33]

As a first step, you could meet with him/her and say that you feel like you've come a long way since your last formal interactions with him/her, and that you are soliciting feedback on additional ways you might continue to grow and continue to strengthen your practice.

I would leave it at that for now. That question alone will get you the info you need to know - you may learn of legitimate areas for growth or you may learn that the individual is never going to give you a chance, for whatever reason and doesn't have much of anything productive to share with you.

You can form subsequent opinions and make personal-professional decisions based on the information obtained.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

3 minutes ago, klone said:

It would depend on how badly I cared. From your post, it sounds like you're scaling back, going to school, and plan on quitting that job at some point. With that in mind, I probably wouldn't invite the additional responsibilities of precepting. If it's simply idle curiosity, I might say "Hey, not that I'm asking to be a preceptor, but just wondering why I have never been chosen."

A story from my past (this may or may not resonate with you - take it for what it's worth) - my second job as an RN, I was back to working nights, which I hated. The policy of this new facility was that OB nurses had to work mom/baby 75% of the time, and L&D 25% of the time. I hated Mom/Baby, only wanted to work L&D. Apparently, my hatred of nights and my hatred of working mom/baby was very apparent in my attitude. My introverted personality meant that I didn't interact much with the other nurses, didn't go out for breakfast with them after work, didn't participate in outside activities with them. Due to hating nights, I called off a lot, and frequently put myself on the list to be called off for low census.

I tried to volunteer for committees or special projects, but was never chosen. I volunteered to precept, but was never chosen. After a year, I felt isolated, not part of the group, and disrespected. I quit and found a different job.

With many years behind me, and now a nurse director, I reflect on my time at that job and realize how much of my not fitting in was self-sabotage.

Okay, gotta go. Hubby wants me to actually get dressed and go out with him, so I'm going to end this now. But just food for thought.

Thanks for the reply.

I have definitely become introverted mostly due to the cliques and back-stabbing on the unit (and I wonder if this is part of the reason we are losing so many nurses). I never call off (ever) and have worked overtime and picked up in the past. I also did some committee work.

But I really don't fit in, being black and childless on a unit with mostly white, young to middle-age mothers. So of course, we don't interact much and I am excluded from out-of-unit activities. I have been coping by throwing myself into patient care but I do feel lonely and isolated at times.

I just sometimes feel like some of my co-workers think little of me like I am black tar on the bottom of a shoe (points for anyone who knows the reference), so I just stay quiet.

[klone, MSN, RN]

From what you’ve written, I would guess that the nurse educator does not feel like you fit into the culture of the unit. That is probably why she has not chosen you, more than your clinical practice. I’m sorry the environment does not feel welcoming to you. I remember how isolating and lonely that felt, even though, in my case, it was mostly self imposed.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

19 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

As a first step, you could meet with him/her and say that you feel like you've come a long way since your last formal interactions with him/her, and that you are soliciting feedback on additional ways you might continue to grow and continue to strengthen your practice.

I would leave it at that for now. That question alone will get you the info you need to know - you may learn of legitimate areas for growth or you may learn that the individual is never going to give you a chance, for whatever reason and doesn't have much of anything productive to share with you.

You can form subsequent opinions and make personal-professional decisions based on the information obtained.

I could bring it up during my yearly eval as that would be the perfect time to do so. Maybe a casual, "I see we are hiring more nurses. I am available to precept." And then leave it at that.

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

I tend to not poke sleeping bears.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

1 hour ago, Pixie.RN said:

I tend to not poke sleeping bears.

I know what you mean. It just bothers me to know a colleague thinks so poorly of me and harbors bad feelings toward me even years after the fact, you know?