Working with the gossip queens.....

[Elaine_RN]

I recently started on a new unit. There is SO much gossiping! Not just among the nurses, everyone who works on the floor. Techs, secretaries, social workers, you name it. They all talk about each other! Even the assistant manager takes part in it. Lots of these gossipers are "friends" who hang out together outside of work. They will be best friends one day and then the next day talking about each other to everyone else! I'm sure I have been a hot gossip topic being the "new nurse on the unit." I know when a bunch of women are together it is unlikely that no gossiping will take place but I have worked on two other units and they were nothing like this! It really makes me uncomfortable and mad. A few days ago I was talking to one of the nurses and she was saying how she hated all of the gossip on the unit but when the next shift came in she starting talking mean about another nurse right after she walked out of the break room! :angryfire Bottom line is, I am there to do my job and not to be best friends with everyone. However, I do want to fit in and be liked by the others but I don't want to be involved in the gossip! It's hard to be included in conversations when they are all about bashing co-workers! It really makes me miss the last unit I worked on. Everyone there was super nice and other than a couple of night-shift nurses who were always at each other's throats not a mean word was ever said behind anyone's back. Has anyone worked on a unit like this before and how did you handle it?

[allantiques4me]

Just go to work and mind your own business.You could still be pleasant to these people,but you arent there to make friends.You know if they talk about others to you theyll talk about you to others.They dont sound like you would want to be friends with these people anyways.If they do say something mean about someone else,stick up for that person.Good luck!! Im glad i have such an autonomous position!

[ann945n, RN]

Personally i think its pretty silly to bash the gossipers and say they dont have meaningful lives or nothing better to ect, its like saying if you found a 100 dollar bill on the ground on the street and no one was around you wouldnt pocket it, give me a break, we all gossip maybe not as much as others but we are all guilty, lets just try to be nice about it and remember how much we like some of the people we work with.

[shoegalRN, RN]

It's not just nursing. I am a current nursing student and I was worked at the phone company for over 13 years and the gossip there was crazy! I will carry the same mentality I had in corporate america into nursing: come to work to do your job, the people you work with are your "co-workers" (not your friends) and keep your personal business to yourself. I pick and choose my battles, I know how to play the game, I keep my ducks in a row and cover my assets and try to stay under the radar to avoid being on any "hit lists". The more of a mystery you are to people, the more intriguing you become. So, I just choose to not entertain the drama. I had an incident in my previous job where a co-worker reported me to management because he felt I "didnt like him" because I told him to only talk to me when it is work-related. I told management I come to work to work and pay my bills, not to become friends with anyone. I'm serious about my job and I choose to have friends outside of the work place. I also told management it's nothing wrong with being cordial, but if I don't want to be bothered with gossip, you can't make me interact with someone for anything more than work related conversation. They quickly got the point.

Just don't entertain it and you'll be fine.

[EarthChild1130]

I work on a unit very similar...everyone always talking about everybody else...and I just refuse to be dragged into it! If one of the other employees starts talking about another person, I just look at them for a second and then change the topic to a completely different one...at first the gossiper is confused, and then realizes that I don't want to participate in the discussion. I have also resorted to more direct tactics, such as stating 'I would prefer to be left out of this conversation' and then walking away. I also make a point to keep my personal life personal. Good luck in however you decide to deal with your gossipers!

[medsurgnurse, RN]

This is rather funny, but nevertheless I think it's irresponsible to start wild rumors like this.

It's not rather funny, it's positively brilliant. I only wish I had the guts to pull it off. I have shared before that my peer review said 'she doesn't socialize with co-workers.' Because I refrained form joining in gossip sessions and all day yakking and instead did my work.

[bluesky, BSN, RN]

I am so proud that at my new job there is only one person who is a back-stabbing b***h, and, ladies, get this... it's the only MALE nurse on the whole staff. Yup. Ha, ha, ha.

[telemetrynurse]

Another way to manage it is to be in control of the gossip. The unit I work on is infested with gossip queens and kings (the leader is the nurse manager who kinda sets the tone for the place). I realized this about 3-4 weeks into my job and started to have some fun discussing made up things I would tell someone in confidence, waiting to see what would eventually get back to me. These type of people need to have the topics managed or they will find something on their own, which is usually something derogatory about a coworker.

One thing I made up was that I found a (fabricated) patient of mine dead (who happened to be a DNR), charted that he was transferred and delivered to a bed on the floor (I work in an understaffed ED); then, I personally delivered him in the deceased state to that bed (on a floor that always finds something to write us up on) in order to avoid the paperwork and see how long it took the floor to find out he was dead (I work the night shift). Imagine how the rumor mill started churning with that one :lol2: :lol2: About 3 weeks later I was called in NM office and she started threating my license and my job for what she "saw" me do. I asked her who is this patient she was referring to and, of course, she couldn't produce a name. I just told her that she must be mistaking me for someone else, I have no idea of what she is talking about and if she keeps up with this kind of talk I'm going to find a lawyer...

Have fun with the insanity, start your own rumors. I'm sure this board can come up with very creative topics.

:wink2: :wink2: :wink2: I thought that was soooooooo funny I printed it and accidently/purposely left it at the nursing station.......

[ineedchocolate]

i know what you mean......there are people in my class that says the rudest and meanings things about people, even though they hardly talk to them (nor do they bother to getting to know them)...and its funny how some love to gossip about others, yet when u flip the switch on them, they pout and say "nobody likes me"...gee...i wonder why.

[Imafloat, BSN, RN]

There is gossip on my unit and when the social circle gets together I just stay busy with my patients, read charts, offer to help other nurses, or read a magazine or book (I work NOC). I am cordial when I approach my coworkers, I just ask them polite things about themselves or ask how they do certain procedures when we have downtime so it doens't appear that I am completely cutting myself off from everyone. I work in an open unit with babies and the babies aren't going to repeat what they hear so there are some juicy tidbits shared. I am a new grad and I have enough drama with the gymnastics moms at the gym where my girls participate. I come to work to give good patient care not make friends. I have plenty of friends from nursing school and other areas in my life. I am older and have worked in other hot beds of gossip before and when you get involved in the drama you can't leave your work at work when you clock out. You will have Sally calling you about what Jane said about Mike and so on.... I am not saying that I hope I don't make any friends at work, that would be great if it happened naturally, but a friendship made on gossip won't weather a storm. I want to get along with my fellow nurses and learn what I can from them, although they gossip they are awesome nurses with a lot to offer. Good luck to you!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

I dont indulge in gossiping, I dont even get involved in discussions unless it relates to golf. I dont gossip, I dont chatter, I dont get to know the people I work with. They are nurses, techs, MDs whatever. They are coworkers, I dont even really acknowledge them as people, just as coworkers.

Keep it Simple

Keep it in the short grass

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

I dont indulge in gossiping, I dont even get involved in discussions unless it relates to golf. I dont gossip, I dont chatter, I dont get to know the people I work with. They are nurses, techs, MDs whatever. They are coworkers, I dont even really acknowledge them as people, just as coworkers.

Keep it Simple

Keep it in the short grass

I like that.... "not even people, just co workers"

My new mantra.......

[blaaveispiken]

Sounds like a toxic unit and I don't think you are going to be able to change it -- honestly I think the issue needs to be addressed by your nurse manager. Personally I HATE gossip -- it's poison, non-productive and eats away at souls -- mostly those who participate in it, but worse, it can damage the souls being gosspied about. If you have to stay on this unit avoid the gossip, don't share anything personal about yourself, be true to yourself and set a good example. Honestly though, if it is as bad as you described I would be looking for another unit where nursing is taken seriously and people are into teamwork and professionalism. One of my nursing friends recently told me she has decided not to do things socially any longer with the people she is working with and keep her friends outside of the workplace. Wise woman!