Working with the gossip queens.....

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I recently started on a new unit. There is SO much gossiping! Not just among the nurses, everyone who works on the floor. Techs, secretaries, social workers, you name it. They all talk about each other! Even the assistant manager takes part in it. :uhoh3: Lots of these gossipers are "friends" who hang out together outside of work. They will be best friends one day and then the next day talking about each other to everyone else! I'm sure I have been a hot gossip topic being the "new nurse on the unit." I know when a bunch of women are together it is unlikely that no gossiping will take place but I have worked on two other units and they were nothing like this! It really makes me uncomfortable and mad. A few days ago I was talking to one of the nurses and she was saying how she hated all of the gossip on the unit but when the next shift came in she starting talking mean about another nurse right after she walked out of the break room! :angryfire Bottom line is, I am there to do my job and not to be best friends with everyone. However, I do want to fit in and be liked by the others but I don't want to be involved in the gossip! It's hard to be included in conversations when they are all about bashing co-workers! It really makes me miss the last unit I worked on. Everyone there was super nice and other than a couple of night-shift nurses who were always at each other's throats not a mean word was ever said behind anyone's back. :o Has anyone worked on a unit like this before and how did you handle it?

Of course, people like talking about other people, but don't like to be talked about!

Oscar Wilde had an opposing view:

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

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Thing to do is just ignore these people, You will not be able to get away from this completely because some people just love to gossip, and its everywhere. You have to be professional, focus on your work, and do not participate in it. They may not like you for not being a part of their group but, so what? They can only say so much before the topic gets boring, even for the worst offenders.

When I used to work staff, some of my coworkers used to say some nasty things about me behind my back. How did I know? Because I heard all about it the next day from the patients. I've always believed that if people had enough work to do they wouldn't have time to stand around discussing other people's private business. A lot of it is envy, and its one reason I do not discuss my personal business with co-workers. I've seen some pretty ugly things result from idle gossip and thats why I never get involved in it.

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Specializes in NICU.

Loricatus has it figured out. You can have LOTS of fun w gossipers. Tell them your are independently wealthy and that nursing is just a hobby. Fabricate some authentic-looking phoney bank statements and leave then lying around for the "right" people to see. Tell them your family produces Mediaography on your yacht in the bahamas....the possibilities are endless!

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I only wish I had the time to gossip while at work...

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

I know when a bunch of women are together it is unlikely that no gossiping will take place but I have worked on two other units and they were nothing like this!

:nono:

A bunch of us were 'together' yesterday in a room by ourselves. Trying to determine (beforehand) how to safely position a very large pt. on their side for a nephrectomy.

A group of people talking could be about pt. care.

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Another way to manage it is to be in control of the gossip. The unit I work on is infested with gossip queens and kings (the leader is the nurse manager who kinda sets the tone for the place). I realized this about 3-4 weeks into my job and started to have some fun discussing made up things I would tell someone in confidence, waiting to see what would eventually get back to me. These type of people need to have the topics managed or they will find something on their own, which is usually something derogatory about a coworker.

One thing I made up was that I found a (fabricated) patient of mine dead (who happened to be a DNR), charted that he was transferred and delivered to a bed on the floor (I work in an understaffed ED); then, I personally delivered him in the deceased state to that bed (on a floor that always finds something to write us up on) in order to avoid the paperwork and see how long it took the floor to find out he was dead (I work the night shift). Imagine how the rumor mill started churning with that one :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: About 3 weeks later I was called in NM office and she started threating my license and my job for what she "saw" me do. I asked her who is this patient she was referring to and, of course, she couldn't produce a name. I just told her that she must be mistaking me for someone else, I have no idea of what she is talking about and if she keeps up with this kind of talk I'm going to find a lawyer...

Have fun with the insanity, start your own rumors. I'm sure this board can come up with very creative topics.

This is rather funny, but nevertheless I think it's irresponsible to start wild rumors like this.

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To the OP, it sounds like this is the culture of this new unit and probably it's going to cause you grief. I personally would try to eventually find a healthier enviornment to work it, I doubt if one person such as yourself can change things there. You are up against too many.

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.

Ugh...I 'hear' it all the time. I'm very good at tuning things out and then someone will say something to me about a certain somebody or bit of gossip and I look at them and they say.....oh you didn't hear? Yeah..I probably heard bits of it but chose to ignore it or just not listen at all. :uhoh21:

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I read somewhere that talking about people is the lowest form of communication, 2nd would be talking about things, and the highest form is talking about feelings. Makes sense to me. I try to remember this when I'm tempted to join in w/the gossip. You have the right idea to just go to work & do your job. After a while people realize that you don't partake in idle gossip, and secretly they respect you for that. Fortunately there is little time to gossip where I work!!! :wink2:

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I read somewhere that talking about people is the lowest form of communication, 2nd would be talking about things, and the highest form is talking about feelings. Makes sense to me. I try to remember this when I'm tempted to join in w/the gossip. You have the right idea to just go to work & do your job. After a while people realize that you don't partake in idle gossip, and secretly they respect you for that. Fortunately there is little time to gossip where I work!!! :wink2:

How about if you 'feel' someone is the lowest form of life on the planet? :trout:

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How about if you 'feel' someone is the lowest form of life on the planet? :trout:

ha! Well I TRY to run this phrase in my mind until it sinks in:

"There but for the grace of God go I" :rolleyes:

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Specializes in med-surg, ER, rehab, neuro, OB.

I refuse to participate in gossip. If someone tries to gossip to me about another person, I just give them a blank look and either change the subject, or if the gossip is really malicious, I just say, "I am surprised you would say that about Jane, she has always had such nice things to say about you!" That usually embarrasses them and they shut up.

Honestly, if someone wants to gossip about me, I really couldn't care less. I refuse to participate in bashing someone else, though. In my opinion, passively listening is participating.

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