Working with the gossip queens.....

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I recently started on a new unit. There is SO much gossiping! Not just among the nurses, everyone who works on the floor. Techs, secretaries, social workers, you name it. They all talk about each other! Even the assistant manager takes part in it. :uhoh3: Lots of these gossipers are "friends" who hang out together outside of work. They will be best friends one day and then the next day talking about each other to everyone else! I'm sure I have been a hot gossip topic being the "new nurse on the unit." I know when a bunch of women are together it is unlikely that no gossiping will take place but I have worked on two other units and they were nothing like this! It really makes me uncomfortable and mad. A few days ago I was talking to one of the nurses and she was saying how she hated all of the gossip on the unit but when the next shift came in she starting talking mean about another nurse right after she walked out of the break room! :angryfire Bottom line is, I am there to do my job and not to be best friends with everyone. However, I do want to fit in and be liked by the others but I don't want to be involved in the gossip! It's hard to be included in conversations when they are all about bashing co-workers! It really makes me miss the last unit I worked on. Everyone there was super nice and other than a couple of night-shift nurses who were always at each other's throats not a mean word was ever said behind anyone's back. :o Has anyone worked on a unit like this before and how did you handle it?

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That sucks....I haven't started nursing school yet (I hope to this fall for a 2nd degree program). However, I am leaving the oh so gossipy world of retail cosmetics. Gossip central. I just used to say things like, "have you talked to them about it"? The hard thing for me was I genuinely liked people and I was kind to everyone, but unfortunately I too had my times where I was the one being talked about. It helped me toughen my skin a bit. Just be in the right, don't partake in it, and don't let them taint your views of others. Gossip comes from insecurity.

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Of course, people like talking about other people, but don't like to be talked about!

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You can't change it, at least not immediately. Just look at your own reactions to what is going on. Don't let them get to you emotionally. The best thing is to not get engaged, ignore as much as possible. But the more you ignore things, the more you will put yourself outside of the group. How I handled this type of work atmosphere: I concentrated on getting my own tasks done and offered to help others as much as I could. I also made a conscious effort to look for positive statements. Doing this all the time is emotionally draining. The best action, find something to do away from the conversations. Then you won't be spending so much energy trying to counter the negativity. A little venting or off the wall remarks once in a while is understandable, but when people make it nothing but negative all the time, they don't realize it but they are draining their own energy too. A small percentage of that negativity could be channeled into positive actions that would make everybody feel better.

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Of course, people like talking about other people, but don't like to be talked about!

I don't like talking about other people. That's why being around it constantly at work makes me so uncomfortable!

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omg!!! i think gossip is inevitable in this field... we as nurses have so much to deal with..... i personally think people who gossip lacks a life.. they come to work and create one.. just sit and watch as the least little thing create a comment or discussion... they have no one to talk to at home.... husband is probably cheating and never home, no friends to talk to, and they come to work trying to make everyone else's life as miserable theirs... it such a sad situation....but they are everywhere

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Specializes in ICU.
omg!!! i think gossip is inevitable in this field... we as nurses have so much to deal with..... i personally think people who gossip lacks a life.. they come to work and create one.. just sit and watch as the least little thing create a comment or discussion... they have no one to talk to at home.... husband is probably cheating and never home, no friends to talk to, and they come to work trying to make everyone else's life as miserable theirs... it such a sad situation....but they are everywhere

:yeahthat:

i work with a few people like that. it really gets old listening to them diss each other all day and then be all fake nice when they see the person. i try my best to tune them out and just go about my business when it starts up!

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PACU.

Another way to manage it is to be in control of the gossip. The unit I work on is infested with gossip queens and kings (the leader is the nurse manager who kinda sets the tone for the place). I realized this about 3-4 weeks into my job and started to have some fun discussing made up things I would tell someone in confidence, waiting to see what would eventually get back to me. These type of people need to have the topics managed or they will find something on their own, which is usually something derogatory about a coworker.

One thing I made up was that I found a (fabricated) patient of mine dead (who happened to be a DNR), charted that he was transferred and delivered to a bed on the floor (I work in an understaffed ED); then, I personally delivered him in the deceased state to that bed (on a floor that always finds something to write us up on) in order to avoid the paperwork and see how long it took the floor to find out he was dead (I work the night shift). Imagine how the rumor mill started churning with that one :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: About 3 weeks later I was called in NM office and she started threating my license and my job for what she "saw" me do. I asked her who is this patient she was referring to and, of course, she couldn't produce a name. I just told her that she must be mistaking me for someone else, I have no idea of what she is talking about and if she keeps up with this kind of talk I'm going to find a lawyer...

Have fun with the insanity, start your own rumors. I'm sure this board can come up with very creative topics.

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Just by the tone of your post, it sounds like you are professionally above this. Don't let them rope you in!!! If you are somehow kept as part of a "captive audience" that is one thing - but - otherwise just try to stay out of it.

My ER is kind of like that if you let it get like that. When one mirrors examples of behavior that are professional (in this case, not participating in the negative gossip) more respect is gained. Just be yourself and when someone talks bad about someone else, just let them know your there for them - but don't comment. More meaningful words are said in action and deed than by just speaking them.

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Gossip isn't so bad and long as it's not mean. When someone comes to me complaining about someone else, I try to put a positive spin on it. You can actually help mend relationships if you say the right things and that will make your work enviornment more pleasant. Some people have even started calling me "peacemaker" around my office.;) I also think any complaint or issue that I do have gets taken seriously because I'm not always out to get someone.

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Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.

That's why I keep to myself and don't poop where I eat. When someone tries to start gossiping, I'll say, "Please don't talk to me unless it pertains to work," or, "Why don't you tell her that to her face if it bothers you so much?" Once, when this witch in my class started maliciously gossiping about another girl, I called the victim over and told her that the witch would like to say something to her. The look on the witch's face was priceless as she stammered for a facade of politeness. If they think I'm aloof and rude, it just means that they won't bug me. They might talk about me, but at least they don't get so much access to me.

Remember:

Great people talk about ideas

Average people talk about stuff

Small people talk about other people

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Another way to manage it is to be in control of the gossip. The unit I work on is infested with gossip queens and kings (the leader is the nurse manager who kinda sets the tone for the place). I realized this about 3-4 weeks into my job and started to have some fun discussing made up things I would tell someone in confidence, waiting to see what would eventually get back to me. These type of people need to have the topics managed or they will find something on their own, which is usually something derogatory about a coworker.

One thing I made up was that I found a (fabricated) patient of mine dead (who happened to be a DNR), charted that he was transferred and delivered to a bed on the floor (I work in an understaffed ED); then, I personally delivered him in the deceased state to that bed (on a floor that always finds something to write us up on) in order to avoid the paperwork and see how long it took the floor to find out he was dead (I work the night shift). Imagine how the rumor mill started churning with that one :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: About 3 weeks later I was called in NM office and she started threating my license and my job for what she "saw" me do. I asked her who is this patient she was referring to and, of course, she couldn't produce a name. I just told her that she must be mistaking me for someone else, I have no idea of what she is talking about and if she keeps up with this kind of talk I'm going to find a lawyer...

Have fun with the insanity, start your own rumors. I'm sure this board can come up with very creative topics.

I am still laughing...That is sooo funny!!!

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