Why do some nurses come across to be rude?

[mathboy]

Hello Guys,

Now here's a small concern that I have whenever I go to the hospital. I have found nurses to be rude to me.

I dont give it back because they're the one's who will be taking care of me and I want them to care for me.

I have a lot of respect for nurses, they are angels for the kind of compassionate work they do, but some experiences here and there create a long lasting memory. Only friendly people in hospital to me were the nuns and priests, during communion time.

Sometimes, I have even tried to avoid going to hospitals.

Is this because they want patients to be submissive and obedient ? I have never come across a friendly nurse till date.

Rude patients do exist, is this why they put the foot down first?

Btw, I am a colored(brown) person, so I wonder if this is a reason.

Once when I was admitted, there was a senior nurse who at first was rude. But then I told her that she was like my mother and I felt hurt that she was rude. I told her nicely and she was nice to me after that.

But, as a patient we go to hospitals emotionally and physically down, the last thing we would want is to get intimidated by the nurse.

What's the best way to tell a nurse that it hurts when they're rude without getting them angry.

Any advice friends.

God bless you'll for the work you'll do.

[mclennan, BSN, RN]

I *really* wish Google did NOT point every moron and their cousin to AN when searching for "nurses."

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

It doesn't surprise me much that segments of the general public hold a perception that nurses are crabby and rude.

New nurses are in a perpetual state of stress and thus can come off as distracted and curt. Experienced nurses become jaded and have long ago learned how to do things quickly and efficiently, which patients can interpret as "uncaring". Plus, being emotionally detached is really just a necessary part of the job which likely doesn't help things.

And nursing staff sees patients and families during what is usually among the worst moments of their (pts and family) lives. It's easy to forget that, and I try to remind myself when the going gets tough. It's easier to be patient and caring with a horrible patient when you remind yourself that what's another day at work for you is a "my life has been completely turned upside down" day for them.

Ok, I posted this before reading all of this thread.

With that in mind, I feel the need to clarify that I did not intend to imply that a patient with a sprained ankle is experiencing "their world being turned upside down". I thought we were talking about real problems here.

[mathboy]

I'd rather rephrase that as 'hop'.Limping to another ER in itself ain't polite. That was one of the worst pains I had orthopedically. And the symptoms of a sprain and fracture are quite similar.I am not used to this, hence went to the ER. Guys, I have had enough. I have asked a lot of people and many agree that they too have had rude experiences. Now I wanted to ask nurses and that's why I posted it here. Thank you.

If you are capable of limping to another ER you are certainly NOT an "emergency". What gave you the idea that an ankle injury was worthy of an emergency room visit?

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Not all fractures result in bones sticking out.

OMG! Really?! I didn't know that!

Seriously? Please keep your responses in context. Bloody fracture with extruding bone? ED

Closed, non-displaced fracture? Call the doctor in the morning.

[IHeartPeds87]

I would also like to point out that I think the way nurses are perceived may be due to the way the job is structured.

One thing: 90% of complaints go to the nurse, even though the nurse has no control over the things controlling the complaint. I just graduated from nursing school and work at a hospital as an aide. A lot of the patients have complained to the nurses about things that the nurse can do nothing about! For example, people will complain about how bad the food tastes. Other than the nurse stating "I'm sorry you don't like the food here" or something to that effect, there's not really anything that can be done about it by the nurse or nursing staff. Other people will complain about how uncomfortable the bed is...again, beyond an offer to help the patient get into a different position, not much the nursing staff can do about it. People often complain as to how they have been "waiting forever" or will say things to me like "i pressed the call light two hours ago." Well, we have timers on our call lights and I can assure you that it was not two hours...in fact we, one time, in the almost three years I have been on my floor had a call light exceed 10 minutes and the entire staff got talked to about it at a special meeting held just for that situation. I would say that 98% percent of call lights are answered in less than 4 minutes, with over 75% being answered in less than 3 minutes. In these situation that occur time and time again, the "noncommital" responses by the staff may come off as rude.

Other things include the fact that the job of the nursing staff is wide open. Nurses sit in the hallway and chart. If a patient or family member comes up and asks a question and the nurse takes more than a half a second to look up, people get irked.

Also, public perception. I think a lot of people are convinced that nurses only work when they are physically in the patient's rooms....so much of what nurses do goes on at the computer, at the phones, and in the med room/supply room/etc. For the lay person, it can be difficult to ascertain whether the nurse is, at that very moment working or goofing off...if a nurse takes two minutes to have a conversation with a coworker while the computer loads, that can be perceived as the nurse "goofing off."

Also, facilities and hospitals want to give the impression that the nurse has plenty of time for you when in reality, even on my best shift, I am fighting the clock as an aide. During nursing school clinicals, I was still fighting the clock just with different things...much more serious things, in fact. Our call lights are small and in the corner of the room. Many patients have remarked to me that things "seem kind of slow" when in reality, we were all busting our a**e* off because we were short staffed and didn't have enough time to do our jobs. This is what facilities want the perception to be. Some hospitals that friends work at don't even have call lights....the patients press a button and the call goes to the nursing staff's phones so it can appear as if it isn't busy when in reality it is very busy.

Also, people have no idea what nurses actually do. When I was an aide before nursing school, some scenarios I perceived as the nurse being lazy or rude....that I now, after having been in nursing school understand that it wasn't that they were being rude they were doing their job and didn't have time to explain to me why.

To the OP, in the example that you gave about having to wait in the ER for a sprained ankle and you were upset that the nurse asked you to either wait or go somewhere else....what did you want him to say? He told you the truth. A sprained ankle is not an emergency that is going to be prioritized over things like chest pain or difficulty breathing. I wasn't there, perhaps his tone truly was rude. Like another poster stated...there are rude people everywhere, including rude nurses but don't generalize your negative experience with one or a few nurses to state that all nurses are rude.

I also urge you to consider this from another point of view- I know that when I'm in pain nothing else really matters. It is possible that because you were in pain due to your ankle that your perception was just that everyone was being rude to you...and that by the time the doctor saw your, your nurse had adequately managed your pain. Just a possibility.

One of the other things that I find challenging in healthcare is this customer service thing....hospitals want people to be happy but who the he** is happy to be in the hospital? with the exception of L&D, I can't think of any "happy" reason for people to be in the hospital.

To the OP: you stated that if you were a nurse you would never be rude to people who were weak. Well, nurses are people too and every patient the nurse has (or 99.9% of them) are sick. And, isn't there a flip side to this arguement? As a patient, shouldn't you be "extra nice" to the people taking care of you (just for the sake of making a point).

Nursing is a job like any other. I don't expect rudeness from my nurse, teacher, mechanic, state senator, walmart greeter, electrician, plumber or dog sitter and would handle rudeness from any person in the same manner. If it bothered me enough I would simply state "I am being respectful and would like that respect back please." If the situation still didn't stop....everyone's got a supervisor.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

I'd rather rephrase that as 'hop'.Limping to another ER in itself ain't polite. That was one of the worst pains I had orthopedically. And the symptoms of a sprain and fracture are quite similar.I am not used to this, hence went to the ER. Guys, I have had enough. I have asked a lot of people and many agree that they too have had rude experiences. Now I wanted to ask nurses and that's why I posted it here. Thank you.

Pain isn't an emergency. In a perfect world you would have been roomed and treated right away. In the real world hospitals have limited resources, and thus people with sprained ankles sometimes have to wait hours while people with emergent conditions take priority.

It is entirely possible that the ER staff was rude in how they informed you that you'd have to wait. But it's important that you understand that making you wait was in no way rude in and of its self.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

I'd rather rephrase that as 'hop'.Limping to another ER in itself ain't polite. That was one of the worst pains I had orthopedically. And the symptoms of a sprain and fracture are quite similar.I am not used to this, hence went to the ER. Guys, I have had enough. I have asked a lot of people and many agree that they too have had rude experiences. Now I wanted to ask nurses and that's why I posted it here. Thank you.

After reading OP comment, closing thread as advice given.

[CamillusRN, BSN]

Hmmmmm - another case where I think education of the public regarding triage is in order. Ankle pain would almost certainly get tagged code green. As in, bottom of the list of concerns, as in why are you in my ER? All that would be done in my ER would be check for perfusion and deformity, X-Ray, apply the RICE method, a couple of NSAID's, and instruct to follow up with an orthopod if there was a fracture. In other words, nothing that couldn't have been done at an orthopedic or urgent care clinic.

To clarify and help clear up some of the confusion about priority: it's not 1st come first serve. It's the truly sick and dying (codes yellow - may die if not helped in a few hours, red - will die unless seen in minutes, and blue - will be permanently dead unless seen NOW) that get to the front of the line (in order of priority: Blue > Red > Yellow > Green). If you've been waiting for hours and you're the last one in the waiting room, you will still get bumped to the bottom of the list in favor of a fresh code red trauma that just came in. Your skin color has nothing (hopefully) to do with it, just the color of your triage code.

Some hospitals have a Redi-Care system in their ER: it's like a clinic for people who wind up in the ER for a clinic-worthy complaint. If you have of those hospitals in your town, it might be worth looking into. In some hospitals, it has decreased the wait-time in the ER from 3+ hours to

OP, your screen name is mathboy - I assume that means you're good with numbers. Here are some numbers to make sense of some of the irritation healthcare providers have with the ER being used for a clinic-worthy complaint. I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience - unfortunately the attitude you were met with, while perhaps impolite, isn't entirely unjustifiable.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

A sprained ankle would probably be treated quicker and cheaper at an urgent care clinic. At an ER you are way down on the priority list and must wait a long time to be seen because everyone sicker than you will come first no matter how long you've been waiting. I've heard of an occasional ER that would advertise their waiting times especially if on the low side to get more business, but most ER's are inundated and over capacity with patients. They get walk ins and ambulances and there is no limit on how many can come at any time which is why there is such a long wait for a non emergency. Your best bet would be to go to either an urgent clinic or a suburban ER they tend to have shorter wait times. You are blaming the nurse for not taking you sooner or giving you pain meds. The nurse cannot treat you till they have a room in the back for you and a Dr order and of course until there is no one sicker than you that needs to be seen first.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Look at the thread, it says 'some'. Can you imagine being in pain with a sprained ankle and having to wait for 3-4 hours before being treated? The Male nurse told me that its common. He told me wait or leave, when I told him its taking too long.

I work in the ER and a sprained ankle can be taken care of at a clinic or your primary care doctor's office. (If you don't have one get one.) Therefore, the actual ER patients in cardiac arrest, with severe infections, and having trouble breathing will go ahead of you. Consider yourself lucky that you only had to wait 3-4 hours. Now call me rude.

[CamillusRN, BSN]

Therefore the actual ER patients in cardiac arrest, with severe infections, and having trouble breathing will go ahead of you. Consider yourself lucky that you only had to wait 3-4 hours. Now call me rude.[/quote']

It's the patients who don't have to wait that you feel sorry for - if you're waiting it means your not as close to death as the one's who aren't. A concept that often escapes the public.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Intimidated by the nurse in what way?

I'm rarely rude, even to family members. Just...abrupt because I'm generally very busy at work and I don't even work in a hospital. Just rehab.

Yet, I understand that 'abruptness' could be perceived as rudeness.

Tips for the nurse?

Pretty sure you're not comparing the (male) doc or an attorney to your 'paw-paw'. Don't compare me to your mother or 'nana'. It's mildly insulting. I'm here to do a job, not kiss boo-boos and butts and it's something that I strive to be good at.

If you make it home w/o a change of status, trip to the ICU or prolonged hospital stay, in general, thanks to some HAI?

YOU'RE WELCOME.

-- Signed,

Your rude a*** but clearly attentive and proficient ER nursing staff.

Anyway, I'm black. I'm not one to diminish "racial concerns" but there are far more racist/prejudiced pts/visitors out there than staff members, in my opinion. I've been called every variation of n--- and never once by a nurse, aide or provider. People aren't abrupt or rude because you're "colored". Shut up. They're abrupt because there's too many of you, not enough of them, mountains of work to be done and constant interruptions and situations going on. It's enough to make anyone run screaming for the exits.

I doubt that you're a "person of color", anyhow. Most would just outright call themselves 'black' or 'PRican' or 'mexican' and whatnot.

'Colored'? How old are you, 82?

Overall, there's room for improvement on both sides. I'd say. The majority of these pt visitors should stop coming to healthcare facilities behaving as though they're putting in orders at Burger King.

ESPECIALLY, the freakin' ER.

People are trying to die in there. Walk through the doors damned near dead. Wouldn't a rational person seated in the ER waiting room assume that the staff is tending to things of that nature?

No - because the nurses are all just shooting the breeze, ordering shoes off the internet while they make the pt's wait for no good reason. (sarcasm)

I don't even work the ER - I work SNF/rehab - but that attitude irritates me all the same. I don't care if you are trolling, certain things need to be said.

God! you should work in the ER. I'd be happy to have you.