Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?

As current times have shown, we're short staffed. Administration wants to make money. So cuts are made to equipment and man power. Who has your back? Who can you rely on? Your fellow nurses? I'm not so sure anymore. Why do we as nurses eat our own when we should be teaching them and guarding them as our own. The fact is as we age our young nurses are going to be taking care of us, but there are those all too eager beavers who will in fact burn you. This is my experience. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

This is my own personal experience as to why nurses eat their own? I have been in nursing for 20+ years. I've watched a lot of nurses come and go and some trying to move up that corporate food chain leaving a path of destruction a mile wide in their path. It's a very sad thing to have witnessed nursing go from a caring environment to a volatile, stressful, "me" environment.

I personally have never thrown anyone under the bus but I have been thrown under the bus by a nurse trying to move up. I was shocked, not to be naive but how callus and calculating this nurse had become in such a short period of time. She was a new grad. I took her under my wing, taught her in a specialty area just to be told shortly thereafter that there were going to be cuts in this area, and I was one of the people being cut along with approximately 20 more nurses. I then found out that my underling I had taught was at the helm of helping administration make these cuts based on who had been there longest, made the most per hour and new grads or new hires would be cheaper. So it was done and my underling moved up to an office of ease while the rest of us were dispersed throughout the facility or some even let go destroying lives and careers.

Once moved to another area of the facility I witnessed a male nurse dating several other female nurses turning them against each other and ending up dating a charge nurse that was best friends with the manager of that department, so they were allowed to cuddle up at the nurses' station and pretty much did nothing else other than sneak outside. Yes all of this was reported by others than myself, however administration didn't care, bottom line was man hours not pt care.

I've since left that facility after many years. I am now at a new facility and have already picked up on the "eager" young nurses more than willing to talk behind other nurses' backs. This is disappointing. The nursing school and instructors of old that I had the privilege of going to and being taught by would be appalled and would not have tolerated for one moment. Is loyalty, character and earning your title without harming something taught in nursing schools? Should certain psychiatric characters be red flags for school administrators be implemented to prevent cannibalism within nursing?

I feel as if those great women who pioneered nursing to care for the sick, indigent and wounded would be so saddened by the "General Hospital", "Grays Anatomy"; "high school acting" nurses of today. On that note I don't want to diminish the fact that nurses have to be go-getters, usually type A, hungry for knowledge; however there's a professional line where we should have each other's back.

Nurses go to college to achieve a degree of higher learning along with all the nursing classes. You're professionals, intellectuals. Would you compromise your name, integrity and reputation for a easier schedule, a desk job, an office? All you have to do is help relocate or terminate 20 to 25 fellow nurses?

I am curious to the opinions of others, so please post. BTW this underling was moved back down the food chain and eventually out the door and with no friends or references to rely on now.

Before going down this road ask yourself. Why did I become a nurse? To help others who need it or to eat my young? If you answer or turn into the later, I fear you may be in the wrong profession...

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
SmilingBluEyes said:
Banterings:

That is a fine essay but................

I don't need a lecture about sexual assault and survivorship. Been there done it. Lived it. The whole horror of it.

He (Jimmy Durham) said those comments referring/comparing to rape and they were offensive. IF he were a victim of sexual assault, I am sure he would have told me. As I *SAID* I don't like a male OR ANYONE making such callous and light comments when referring to rape. Not just males ....ANYONE. Since the situation I refer to involved MALES, yes I am sensitive to males making light of rape/sexual assault.

This thread is not about rape. The word should not have been brought into it at all. I am not going to discuss this further with you here.

You have no idea my experiences.

(((SBE)))

Hugs to you. I can't imagine what you've been through.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
OCNRN63 said:
(((SBE)))

Hugs to you. I can't imagine what you've been through.

I was lucky, let's say. It was boys from high school who offered me a ride home and well......were not trustworthy unlike I believed. But I fought my way out and got away.

Long story I don't want to tell here. Suffice it to say, I spent years feeling "dirty" and like it was my fault. Afraid to tell my folks cause I just knew they would say I should have known better. They still don't know today.

I don't feel that (dirty or to blame) way anymore, so thanks for caring and being so kind. I really am ok, but still get "triggered" now and again, which I wish I could control!

You guys are the best.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
SmilingBluEyes said:
I was lucky, let's say. It was boys from high school who offered me a ride home and well......were not trustworthy unlike I believed. But I fought my way out and got away.

Long story I don't want to tell here. Suffice it to say, I spent years feeling "dirty" and like it was my fault. Afraid to tell my folks cause I just knew they would say I should have known better. They still don't know today.

I don't feel that (dirty or to blame) way anymore, so thanks for caring and being so kind. I really am ok, but still get "triggered" now and again, which I wish I could control!

You guys are the best.

We're like a family here. ?

Specializes in ICU.
banterings said:
The problem with this line of thinking is that others are told that a scientifically proven phenomenon does NOT exist simply because one has not experienced it.

The absence of proof is not proof of absence...

It is one thing to say that I believe that the world is flat but you cannot discredit someone who says the world is spherical simply because you do not believe it so OR because one has never ventured outside their own state of residence.

I agree, these "phenomenons" sound delicious and should not be discredited until people have have gone outside their front door and experienced one for themselves! Are they as tasty as new nurses? Or old nurses? I've forgotten which I'm supposed to eat.

Seriously though, no-one on this thread is discrediting any scientifically proven etc or that the absence of proof etc. No-one is saying that bullying or lateral violence doesn't exist. The argument is that other professions have bullying, mean, selfish, promotion-hungry employees too. We aren't worse.

I was personally saying that although bullying of course exists, I think there are many nicer, kinder and more helpful co-workers in nursing than you'd find in other professions. I also agree bullying is wrong, it makes me angry. I have actively challenged it in nursing and other work environments when I have seen or heard it.

I can relate! I was forced to resign after nearly 20 yrs of service at a hospital which now specializes in hiring only new grads.

I once spoke to a nursing instructor who taught clinicals at the hospital I was working for and she said that the way it has become now is that if a student is taught anything like what you mentioned and they have a problem with it ( like being reprimanded for their attitude or wrinkled scrubs, whatever) all they have to do is report it and the instructor gets reprimanded and risks losing their job for "giving the students a hard time". What is this world coming too?

How could all our 'parenting' go so wrong? Is it the internet generation? Since now anyone who can 'google' can be an expert in everything.

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
heron said:
Seems like boundaries are the issue here.

And it's "catty". I carry my own luggage and it doesn't include a golf bag.

Thank you! I wish this could be at the beginning of the thread.

That body of research touted here that confirms the existence of workplace bullying, also confirms, IMO, that large numbers of people have unfortunately progressed to adulthood without developing sufficient personal boundaries to keep the behavior of jackasses in check.

Specializes in Telemetry.
Altra said:
Thank you! I wish this could be at the beginning of the thread.

That body of research touted here that confirms the existence of workplace bullying, also confirms, IMO, that large numbers of people have unfortunately progressed to adulthood without developing sufficient personal boundaries to keep the behavior of jackasses in check.

Or that a decent amount of the research used people who had never experienced true hardcore bullying in school (k-12) and don't have the same concept of bullying as those of us (like me) who did get bullied as children/teens. If you were pushed downstairs, had your food spit on, threatened with physical violence, etc., you probably don't consider a nurse acting a little snippy with you bullying. Different frame of reference.

So yeah, bullying does exist in nursing - and every field - but not to the extent some people say it does. And that actual bullying needs to stop, and those targeted should be supported. But this will be easier once the obvious non-bullying behaviors are excluded.

Purple_roses said:
"I truly didn't mean to offend. I'm sorry that this conversation made rape seem trivial, even if that was not the intent."

--an easy way to end this banterings. It takes an oodle of humility.

Agreed and ended.

My apologies to anyone that I may have offended too.

I feel this belief has changed from the time I became a nurse in the 1980's. What I'm seeing now is as I'm approaching 60, the young, newer nurses all ready know it, have done it, do it better, don't want to hear anything I have to share. My 31 yrs as an RN and 8+ yrs before that as a CMA must have been a waste of my time according to them. It's sad. Attitude is poor, backstabbing is HUGE! and they can't believe they have to work holidays and weekends! The old isn't eating the young...it's the young eating us "old" ones!

SmilingBluEyes,

Sending you some love and strength.

My intent was not to trigger.

Also know that there are many (even men) who do not condone the behavior that you experienced and will stand up to it. I am one of them.

Again, love and strength.

sarlou said:
I feel this belief has changed from the time I became a nurse in the 1980's. What I'm seeing now is as I'm approaching 60, the young, newer nurses all ready know it, have done it, do it better, don't want to hear anything I have to share. My 31 yrs as an RN and 8+ yrs before that as a CMA must have been a waste of my time according to them. It's sad. Attitude is poor, backstabbing is HUGE! and they can't believe they have to work holidays and weekends! The old isn't eating the young...it's the young eating us "old" ones!

Sad to say, that society has created this attitude, especially among the younger generation. The 20-somethings have never been in a car without air conditioning or power windows. I remember rolling down the window in the middle of summer as a kid so as not to fry in the back seat of the car. There was no DVD player in the back seat for long trips either.

They received participation trophies. If I did not win, no trophy. It was the incentive to do better. We rode bikes without helmets, when we crashed, we learned to get up and shake it off.

Bullying also has an anthropological purpose, and that is to enforce the norms of society. In nursing, the best example of this would be other nurses admonishing one for taking a shortcut. This was usually initiated by older, more experienced people. What has happened with the explosion of technology is 12 year olds showing their teachers and parents how to use technology that they grew up with. This gives them a sense of superiority when combined with the sense of entitlement from participation trophies and comforts that were at one time luxuries.

Millennials have some nice toys that older generations didn't. Millennials can carry the entire Internet around in their pockets. This technology has probably changed our society and culture more than any technology since the invention and development of the railroads. Those of us who did not grow up with it can't know what it would be like to grow up with the Internet being "normal" instead of "new."

Not only has this made going to the library obsolete, but the permanent information is available in Cliffs Notes version on Wikipedia.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
banterings said:
SmilingBluEyes,

Sending you some love and strength.

My intent was not to trigger.

Also know that there are many (even men) who do not condone the behavior that you experienced and will stand up to it. I am one of them.

Again, love and strength.

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

Your words mean a lot.

Anyhow I have cleaned out my inbox now......

And on with the thread....... ?