Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?

As current times have shown, we're short staffed. Administration wants to make money. So cuts are made to equipment and man power. Who has your back? Who can you rely on? Your fellow nurses? I'm not so sure anymore. Why do we as nurses eat our own when we should be teaching them and guarding them as our own. The fact is as we age our young nurses are going to be taking care of us, but there are those all too eager beavers who will in fact burn you. This is my experience. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

This is my own personal experience as to why nurses eat their own? I have been in nursing for 20+ years. I've watched a lot of nurses come and go and some trying to move up that corporate food chain leaving a path of destruction a mile wide in their path. It's a very sad thing to have witnessed nursing go from a caring environment to a volatile, stressful, "me" environment.

I personally have never thrown anyone under the bus but I have been thrown under the bus by a nurse trying to move up. I was shocked, not to be naive but how callus and calculating this nurse had become in such a short period of time. She was a new grad. I took her under my wing, taught her in a specialty area just to be told shortly thereafter that there were going to be cuts in this area, and I was one of the people being cut along with approximately 20 more nurses. I then found out that my underling I had taught was at the helm of helping administration make these cuts based on who had been there longest, made the most per hour and new grads or new hires would be cheaper. So it was done and my underling moved up to an office of ease while the rest of us were dispersed throughout the facility or some even let go destroying lives and careers.

Once moved to another area of the facility I witnessed a male nurse dating several other female nurses turning them against each other and ending up dating a charge nurse that was best friends with the manager of that department, so they were allowed to cuddle up at the nurses' station and pretty much did nothing else other than sneak outside. Yes all of this was reported by others than myself, however administration didn't care, bottom line was man hours not pt care.

I've since left that facility after many years. I am now at a new facility and have already picked up on the "eager" young nurses more than willing to talk behind other nurses' backs. This is disappointing. The nursing school and instructors of old that I had the privilege of going to and being taught by would be appalled and would not have tolerated for one moment. Is loyalty, character and earning your title without harming something taught in nursing schools? Should certain psychiatric characters be red flags for school administrators be implemented to prevent cannibalism within nursing?

I feel as if those great women who pioneered nursing to care for the sick, indigent and wounded would be so saddened by the "General Hospital", "Grays Anatomy"; "high school acting" nurses of today. On that note I don't want to diminish the fact that nurses have to be go-getters, usually type A, hungry for knowledge; however there's a professional line where we should have each other's back.

Nurses go to college to achieve a degree of higher learning along with all the nursing classes. You're professionals, intellectuals. Would you compromise your name, integrity and reputation for a easier schedule, a desk job, an office? All you have to do is help relocate or terminate 20 to 25 fellow nurses?

I am curious to the opinions of others, so please post. BTW this underling was moved back down the food chain and eventually out the door and with no friends or references to rely on now.

Before going down this road ask yourself. Why did I become a nurse? To help others who need it or to eat my young? If you answer or turn into the later, I fear you may be in the wrong profession...

Hollybobs said:
Um, you know this is an informal and subjective thread started specifically to look at "personal experience" and the OP asked for "opinions"? If it were a different type of thread then I would not have solely used anecdotal, emotive evidence but in this case, these were relevant and requested.

And obviously no-one thinks all the nurses who say they are bullied are part of the problem, the use of the word "sometimes" in Celtic Goddess's post gives that away. I have also come across the mean co-worker who played the victim everywhere she went- it is pretty annoying behaviour.

The plural of 1 forum member criticising others based on inaccurate foundations is not 2 forum members who couldn't benefit from re-reading the information given before responding.

The problem with this line of thinking is that others are told that a scientifically proven phenomenon does NOT exist simply because one has not experienced it.

The absence of proof is not proof of absence...

It is one thing to say that I believe that the world is flat but you cannot discredit someone who says the world is spherical simply because you do not believe it so OR because one has never ventured outside their own state of residence.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Banterings:

That is a fine essay but................

I don't need a lecture about sexual assault and survivorship. Been there done it. Lived it. The whole horror of it.

He (Jimmy Durham) said those comments referring/comparing to rape and they were offensive. IF he were a victim of sexual assault, I am sure he would have told me. As I *SAID* I don't like a male OR ANYONE making such callous and light comments when referring to rape. Not just males ....ANYONE. Since the situation I refer to involved MALES, yes I am sensitive to males making light of rape/sexual assault.

This thread is not about rape. The word should not have been brought into it at all. I am not going to discuss this further with you here.

You have no idea my experiences.

SmilingBluEyes said:
Banterings:

I don't need a lecture about sexual assault and survivorship. Been there done it. Lived it. The whole horror of it.

He (Jimmy Durham) said those comments referring/comparing to rape and they were offensive. IF he were a victim of sexual assault, I am sure he would have told me. As I *SAID* I don't like a male OR ANYONE making such callous and light comments when referring to rape. Not just males ....ANYONE. Since the situation I refer to involved MALES, yes I am sensitive to males making light or rape/sexual assault.

This thread is not about rape. The word should not have been brought into it at all. I am not going to discuss this further with you here.

You have no idea my experiences. None at all.

((((SBE))))

SmilingBluEyes said:
Banterings:

That is a fine essay but................

I don't need a lecture about sexual assault and survivorship. Been there done it. Lived it. The whole horror of it.

He (Jimmy Durham) said those comments referring/comparing to rape and they were offensive. IF he were a victim of sexual assault, I am sure he would have told me. As I *SAID* I don't like a male OR ANYONE making such callous and light comments when referring to rape. Not just males ....ANYONE. Since the situation I refer to involved MALES, yes I am sensitive to males making light of rape/sexual assault.

This thread is not about rape. The word should not have been brought into it at all. I am not going to discuss this further with you here.

You have no idea my experiences.

I was not lecturing you and that was not an essay.

I just not want to make any assumptions about what you have been through, that is why I explained the point. You continue to make assumptions Jimmy Durham, mainly that he is NOT a survivor and if he was he would have told you.

No one has made light of SA here, if so, I would be the first to call them out on it.

I also stated (in bold), that I do not know your story [experience].

Farawyn said:
((((SBE))))

What???

State Board of Education???

Ah, why?

banterings said:
What???

State Board of Education???

Ah, why?

Dude.

banterings said:
I was not lecturing you and that was not an essay.

I just not want to make any assumptions about what you have been through, that is why I explained the point. You continue to make assumptions Jimmy Durham, mainly that he is NOT a survivor and if he was he would have told you.

No one has made light of SA here, if so, I would be the first to call them out on it.

I also stated (in bold), that I do not know your story [experience].

I feel that it's been made very VERY clear that SBE is uncomfortable with this topic. It needs to be dropped. We all have a mile-long list of things we could all argue about. We don't need this topic.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Farawyn said:
((((SBE))))

TY!!! back atcha

Farawyn said:
Dude.

Just figured it out from Purple_roses' comment...

homer-doh.jpg

Purple_roses said:
I feel that it's been made very VERY clear that SBE is uncomfortable with this topic. It needs to be dropped. We all have a mile-long list of things we could all argue about. We don't need this topic.

But not uncomfortable enough to respond to me. I stated that I did not know her experience and did not want to make any assumptions, a courtesy that was not extended to Jimmy Durham or me. I also take umbrage the inference that certain people have a monopoly on SA. Many people have been touched by it, some more so than others. I would never diminish, question or make assumptions of anyone's experiences or suffering, and I expect the same in return.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I don't claim to have a monopoly on SA. I wish I did not have the understanding that I do regarding this subject, frankly.

I said, and I believe rightly, that comparing "nurses eating each other" other to "rape" is wrong and inappropriate. Clearly, Banterings, you disagree. Fine. I am willing to leave it at that. But this is NOT a thread about "rape" and this is the last time I will discuss it.

You can have the last word.

I am so done with the topic of bullying versus rape comparisons. Say whatever else you want. I won't address it again.

Good night.

My issue with claims of bullying and lateral violence isn't that it doesn't exist, how could it not with the vast numbers and differences that exist in the nursing industry. But there are those who claim either one of those as occurring when it did not and I think everyone of us know of both instances.

How many that don't succeed in a given position claim maltreatment versus admission of lack of ability and charstieristics to both fit the culture and meet competency? Culture? Sometimes the unit/office/agency culture is a good one and a certain personality/ability doesn't fit snd won't be tolerated. I've known people, not many fortunately, who genuinely don't understand what's missing in their attitude and/or practice but will turn around and blame the team or management.

Which exists in higher numbers, true victims or legitimate criticism? I don't know but there seems to be enough to have credible evidence from both camps. I can say from my own observations that some can treated in the most professional and systematic way and still claim bullying in defense of their performance.

I don't claim to have a monopoly on SA. I wish I did not have the understanding that I do regarding this subject, frankly.

I said, and I believe rightly, that comparing "nurses eating each other" other to "rape" is wrong and inappropriate. Clearly, Banterings, you disagree. Fine. I am willing to leave it at that. But this is NOT a thread about "rape" and this is the last time I will discuss it.

You can have the last word.

I am so done with the topic of bullying versus rape comparisons. Say whatever else you want. I won't address it again.

Good night.

No one compared bullying with SA or rape. The tangent was about blaming the victim” (and how wrong it is to do that).