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Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?

Nurses Article   (94,765 Views 293 Replies 634 Words)
by nrsgofold nrsgofold, RN (New Member) New Member

nrsgofold has 20 years experience as a RN and specializes in ER,ICU.

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As current times have shown, we're short staffed. Administration wants to make money. So cuts are made to equipment and man power. Who has your back? Who can you rely on? Your fellow nurses? I'm not so sure anymore. Why do we as nurses eat our own when we should be teaching them and guarding them as our own. The fact is as we age our young nurses are going to be taking care of us, but there are those all too eager beavers who will in fact burn you. This is my experience. You are reading page 21 of Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

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Seems like boundaries are the issue here.

And it's "catty". I carry my own luggage and it doesn't include a golf bag.

THANK YOU. I don't need a caddy either. And cattiness definitely does not only come from women. That is clear.

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OCNRN63 is a RN and specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

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Banterings:

That is a fine essay but................

I don't need a lecture about sexual assault and survivorship. Been there done it. Lived it. The whole horror of it.

He (Jimmy Durham) said those comments referring/comparing to rape and they were offensive. IF he were a victim of sexual assault, I am sure he would have told me. As I *SAID* I don't like a male OR ANYONE making such callous and light comments when referring to rape. Not just males ....ANYONE. Since the situation I refer to involved MALES, yes I am sensitive to males making light of rape/sexual assault.

This thread is not about rape. The word should not have been brought into it at all. I am not going to discuss this further with you here.

You have no idea my experiences.

(((SBE)))

Hugs to you. I can't imagine what you've been through.

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

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(((SBE)))

Hugs to you. I can't imagine what you've been through.

I was lucky, let's say. It was boys from high school who offered me a ride home and well......were not trustworthy unlike I believed. But I fought my way out and got away.

Long story I don't want to tell here. Suffice it to say, I spent years feeling "dirty" and like it was my fault. Afraid to tell my folks cause I just knew they would say I should have known better. They still don't know today.

I don't feel that (dirty or to blame) way anymore, so thanks for caring and being so kind. I really am ok, but still get "triggered" now and again, which I wish I could control!

You guys are the best.

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OCNRN63 is a RN and specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

5,978 Posts; 53,921 Profile Views

I was lucky, let's say. It was boys from high school who offered me a ride home and well......were not trustworthy unlike I believed. But I fought my way out and got away.

Long story I don't want to tell here. Suffice it to say, I spent years feeling "dirty" and like it was my fault. Afraid to tell my folks cause I just knew they would say I should have known better. They still don't know today.

I don't feel that (dirty or to blame) way anymore, so thanks for caring and being so kind. I really am ok, but still get "triggered" now and again, which I wish I could control!

You guys are the best.

We're like a family here. :)

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Hollybobs has 5 years experience and specializes in ICU.

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The problem with this line of thinking is that others are told that a scientifically proven phenomenom does NOT exist simply because one has not experienced it.

The absence of proof is not proof of absence...

It is one thing to say that I believe that the world is flat” but you cannot discredit someone who says the world is spherical simply because you do not believe it so OR because one has never ventured outside their own state of residence.

I agree, these "phenomenoms" sound delicious and should not be discredited until people have have gone outside their front door and experienced one for themselves! Are they as tasty as new nurses? Or old nurses? I've forgotten which I'm supposed to eat.

Seriously though, no-one on this thread is discrediting any scientifically proven etc or that the absence of proof etc. No-one is saying that bullying or lateral violence doesn't exist. The argument is that other professions have bullying, mean, selfish, promotion-hungry employees too. We aren't worse.

I was personally saying that although bullying of course exists, I think there are many nicer, kinder and more helpful co-workers in nursing than you'd find in other professions. I also agree bullying is wrong, it makes me angry. I have actively challenged it in nursing and other work environments when I have seen or heard it.

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I can relate! I was forced to resign after nearly 20 yrs of service at a hospital which now specializes in hiring only new grads.

I once spoke to a nursing instructor who taught clinicals at the hospital I was working for and she said that the way it has become now is that if a student is taught anything like what you mentioned and they have a problem with it ( like being reprimanded for their attitude or wrinkled scrubs, whatever) all they have to do is report it and the instructor gets reprimanded and risks losing their job for "giving the students a hard time". What is this world coming too?

How could all our 'parenting' go so wrong? Is it the internet generation? Since now anyone who can 'google' can be an expert in everything.

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Altra is a BSN, RN and specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

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Seems like boundaries are the issue here.

And it's "catty". I carry my own luggage and it doesn't include a golf bag.

Thank you! I wish this could be at the beginning of the thread.

That body of research touted here that confirms the existence of workplace bullying, also confirms, IMO, that large numbers of people have unfortunately progressed to adulthood without developing sufficient personal boundaries to keep the behavior of jackasses in check.

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Nurse Leigh specializes in Telemetry.

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Thank you! I wish this could be at the beginning of the thread.

That body of research touted here that confirms the existence of workplace bullying, also confirms, IMO, that large numbers of people have unfortunately progressed to adulthood without developing sufficient personal boundaries to keep the behavior of jackasses in check.

Or that a decent amount of the research used people who had never experienced true hardcore bullying in school (k-12) and don't have the same concept of bullying as those of us (like me) who did get bullied as children/teens. If you were pushed downstairs, had your food spit on, threatened with physical violence, etc., you probably don't consider a nurse acting a little snippy with you bullying. Different frame of reference.

So yeah, bullying does exist in nursing - and every field - but not to the extent some people say it does. And that actual bullying needs to stop, and those targeted should be supported. But this will be easier once the obvious non-bullying behaviors are excluded.

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"I truly didn't mean to offend. I'm sorry that this conversation made rape seem trivial, even if that was not the intent."

--an easy way to end this banterings. It takes an oodle of humility.

Agreed and ended.

My apologies to anyone that I may have offended too.

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I feel this belief has changed from the time I became a nurse in the 1980's. What I'm seeing now is as I'm approaching 60, the young, newer nurses all ready know it, have done it, do it better, don't want to hear anything I have to share. My 31 yrs as an RN and 8+ yrs before that as a CMA must have been a waste of my time according to them. It's sad. Attitude is poor, backstabbing is HUGE! and they can't believe they have to work holidays and weekends! The old isn't eating the young...it's the young eating us "old" ones!

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SmilingBluEyes,

Sending you some love and strength.

My intent was not to trigger.

Also know that there are many (even men) who do not condone the behavior that you experienced and will stand up to it. I am one of them.

Again, love and strength.

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Farawyn has 25 years experience and specializes in A little bit of everything..

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Pssst, SBE, I'm trying to send you a PM. Clean out your messages, please! [emoji173]️

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