What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

[emergenceRN17, ASN, BSN, RN]

On 6/30/2004 at 9:22 AM, AB_NormalRN said:

16 yo male with a stubbed toe. Triaged and sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. He got angry and went home. Upon arrival at home he immediately called 911. EMS brought him back only to sit for 4 more hours. Thought that he would get back sooner. LOL!:rotfl:

I absolutely love those that still believe in the EMS myth. My medic husband loves it even more... ?

[NPdancer]

I've been an ER nurse for over 12 years, worked at several hospitals across the country due to being a travel nurse. Some of the most memorable ones:

Pt comes in by ambulance. States he has a "funny taste" after eating something "my girlfriend cooked". Denies N/V/D. Denies abdominal pain. States to staff "My girlfriend watches SNAPPED. I would like to be tested for orificenic poisoning". 

Pt comes in by ambulance in the middle of the night. Chief complaint "abdominal pain after being assaulted". Pt claims that he was "walking minding my own business when I was ambushed by three big dudes and assaulted". Not a cut or scratch anywhere. Not a wrinkle in any clothing. Abdominal X-ray showed a "foreign object" in the rectum. Radiologist unable to determine "what it is". Went back to bedside and asked pt the "real story". He stuck with the assault story. We told the pt we are mandated to report to the police. He then tells the real story. He sat on a recliner chair handle. He had to go to surgery to have it removed.

Pt comes in by ambulance, chief complaint "prolonged erection". Pt admits to taking "too much viagra" due to erectile dysfunction. States he even "jacked off" and it was still erect. Also states he visited a "lady of the evening", went to sleep for four hours and it was still erect. States he became "scared" and called 911. He presents to the ER with a blanket covered over his private area. He had a female nurse (me) and a female ER doctor. We called urology (female doctor) and he had to get his member drained by female urologist. All females at the bedside. He kept apologizing. States "I will never do this *** again". 

[RuralMOSchoolRN, ADN, RN]

I had a lady come in-she couldn't stop moving and was crying hysterically.  Turns out she put four packs of pop rocks in her lady parts.  I asked her why and she said it was "supposed to be a treat for myself for my 40th birthday".  Took 3 L sterile flush to get them all out plus antibiotics. 

[emergenceRN17, ASN, BSN, RN]

21 minutes ago, RuralMOSchoolRN said:

I had a lady come in-she couldn't stop moving and was crying hysterically.  Turns out she put four packs of pop rocks in her lady parts.  I asked her why and she said it was "supposed to be a treat for myself for my 40th birthday".  Took 3 L sterile flush to get them all out plus antibiotics. 

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

On 1/19/2022 at 4:25 PM, RuralMOSchoolRN said:

I had a lady come in-she couldn't stop moving and was crying hysterically.  Turns out she put four packs of pop rocks in her lady parts.  I asked her why and she said it was "supposed to be a treat for myself for my 40th birthday".  Took 3 L sterile flush to get them all out plus antibiotics. 

Apparently, she's not the only one: there are multiple Reddit threads and several website articles dedicated to this brilliant idea. Thankfully, the articles denounce it. The Reddit threads...well, let's just say they display the dearth of sex education in our country. Also apparently a thing: chocolate sex toys. Holy Diflucan, Batman.

[emergenceRN17, ASN, BSN, RN]

gere7404 said:

"Pt states her boyfriend convinced her to 'eat his butthole' and has been having an itching sensation since 'maybe cause my boyfriends dirty or something.’ Pt did not wash face, came straight to ER. Pt also has a broken tooth she fears may be infected from boyfriends butthole. Pt got out of jail yesterday.”

I have no words.. yikes

[gere7404, BSN, RN]

2 hours ago, emergenceRN17 said:

I have no words.. yikes

One hour in triage is like fifteen dog years

[emergenceRN17, ASN, BSN, RN]

4 hours ago, gere7404 said:

One hour in triage is like fifteen dog years

I believe it.. ?

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

On 10/21/2022 at 11:59 PM, FiremedicMike said:

I sent her to triage. 

This is the one you hope LWOBS. LOL. WOW. 

[Mikey31079]

From my new gig as ER registration:

18 y/o, chief complaint: was taking a shower and water dripped in my ear. Also, it was raining real bad out when the person left...I was thinking "Please god please don't make her come back here, I might have to run over her foot with my wheekchair LOL"

[Mikey31079]

From my new gig as ER registration:

18 y/o, chief complaint: was taking a shower and water dripped in my ear. Also, it was raining real bad out when the person left...I was thinking "Please god please don't make her come back here, I might have to run over her foot with my wheelchair LOL" 

Oh, I forgot this one...this lady brings in her whole family because they thought they were all allergic to the same brand of toothpaste.  It turns out the "burning in their mouth" was actually the mint flavor...gotta love medicaid LOL

 

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

RNin92 said:

 

Can we give him his boosters...and will the ER doc sign his physical?

And his sports physical form?

Are ya kiddin' me or what!!!????!!

I'm surprised he didn't just sign his the physical himself....I've seen that before...