What have you learned about Death?

[g2255lw]

Hey nurses!

Just seeking some words of wisdom based on experience that you have learned in the nursing field...

What have you learned about Death? On a personal, and professional level? What do you tell patients that are scared/worried about dying, or those that fear mortality? Are you yourself scared of mortality? Were you ever afraid of it, or has nursing helped you to cope and become more comfortable with it?

Thanks!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

What have I learned about death?

1. Death is not the worst outcome.

2. There are events that are far worse than death.

3. We live in a death-denying society.

4. Death is a natural end to the circle of life.

5. Hospice should be promoted as a viable option more regularly.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

You are not a nurse. You are not a nursing student. WTH are you asking?

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

I work with geriatric patients and I've realized that quality of life is much more important than years lived.

Eventually, everyone reaches that point when they are done. No amount of medical intervention will help once that person decides they've had enough and they're ready to go. Unfortunately, families take much longer to process death and the patient often suffers needlessly to be kept alive.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

What have I learned about death?

1. Death is not the worst outcome.

2. There are events that are far worse than death.

3. We live in a death-denying society.

4. Death is a natural end to the circle of life.

5. Hospice should be promoted as a viable option more regularly.

I wish I could like this post a million times.

[Red Kryptonite]

I will preface this by saying I am a pediatric nurse. I have learned that there are fates worse than death and that I have the utmost respect for parents who are strong enough to say "enough is enough"

I stumbled upon this commercial today and it actually provoked a rather strong reaction in me:

I don't think it's an accurate portrayal of hospice. The patient shares her culture's customs with the nurse because she is ready and wants her soul to be set free and the nurse responds by saying "not tonight"? Then "Nurses Heal" flashes across the screen. Sometimes healing is not possible.

OMG that ad actually made me angry. How negating and disrespectful! The appropriate response is, "And I'll be there to open it when it's time."

And "nurses heal" at the end? That sounds cute, but that's not what hospice does! Grrrr.....

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

One important thing I've learned is that sometimes the dying person needs "permission" to let go. This was true 2 years ago when my dad was dying. He told all of us he was ready, he was tired of fighting everything that was wrong with him. He was, however, reluctant to leave me & my sister because her husband had died just a few months earlier. Dad was in an inpatient hospice unit & we took turns staying with him. The night before he died, my sister was with him. When she got ready to go to sleep, she gave him a kiss & told him it was ok if he wanted to "go home" because we would miss him but we would be fine. He died less than 2 hours later.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

OMG that ad actually made me angry. How negating and disrespectful! The appropriate response is, "And I'll be there to open it when it's time."

And "nurses heal" at the end? That sounds cute, but that's not what hospice does! Grrrr.....

My former coworker, who was coincidentally a hospice nurse at one point in time, had a confused elderly little old lady as a patient. The patient started sundowning and screaming, "I'm going to die tonight!"

My former coworker cheerfully responded with a smile, "No, you're not going to die tonight. Maybe tomorrow, but not tonight. If you want to die, make it happen after 7:30am because my shift will have already ended!"

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

Over the course of a lifetime, many people around you die...those you are close to and those not as close, but you experience this personally...then you see it close up at work as well. It does somewhat prepare you and help you adjust to the fact that death is a part of life, IMO.

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

OMG that ad actually made me angry. How negating and disrespectful! The appropriate response is, "And I'll be there to open it when it's time."

And "nurses heal" at the end? That sounds cute, but that's not what hospice does! Grrrr.....

I can understand your anger with that one. The first time I saw it, it had me thinking too. But I think the nurse in the commercial knew the time was not close to her death because of the patient's vitals, body function, etc. That is the way I took it. But you are right, the response should have been she'd open the window for her when it was time. I also like that custom very much!

[Altra, BSN, RN]

It seems it's that time again -- every couple of years I publicly post my objection to AN's prominence in search engines, as it attracts the salacious ask-a-nurse type of questioning.

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

It is often fatal.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

It's just as important to think about how you want to die as how you want to live.

Tell your family your wishes, and choose your decision maker wisely.

Death isn't always a bad thing; sometimes it is the strangest kind of peace and relief.

If you want to be comfortable as you die someday, take care of yourself now. I've seen quite a few smokers, people who abused drugs, etc. suffer greatly at end of life (though, sadly, sometimes suffering is unavoidable). Always breaks my heart to see someone who dies completely unable to breathe, in terrible pain, etc. and not be able to make them feel better.