What am I, chopped liver?

Nurses General Nursing

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My mom (who lives in another city) has been sicker than a dog for the last week. Worst headache of her life, 8/10 low back pain, worst on the right flank, fever, chills, extreme fatigue. Decreased UOP with burning and foul odor. States, "I'm pretty sure I've got a raging kidney infection".

I drove 2.5 hours to see her on Sunday, and once there, took one look at her and said, "You need to go to the ED for antibiotics and some fluid". She refused all night long, I finally drug her into her PCP's office on Monday AM. The PCP wanted to admit her right away, but my mom balked. She got started on antiobiotics ASAP and I had go to home. I called last night - SHE FELT WORSE, advised her again to go to the ED but she refused.

She called her PCP for advice, the PCP again advised her to go to the hospital but said, "Its up to you. You will feel worse before you feel better with this kidney infection".

When I asked my mom why she wasn't going to the hospital even though she felt worse and she says, "Well, your dad and I feel I don't need to go after talking with a real professional".

Ouch. Thanks Mom. Not only am I worried about you, but the "real professional" and I agree that you should be in the hospital. ARGH! (through gritted teeth) I DO hope you get better soon!

Thank you spacenurse...that is beautiful.

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Specializes in CMSRN.

I know how everyone feels.

Been there, done it and will do it again.

Recently I had a lap choli done and my husband was sitting on the bedside in the hospital. I had fluids running and my iv had infiltrated. Of course it burned and hurt etc, so I reached over and turned it off and was going to have my husband let the nurse know. My husband then says why don't you let a nurse take care of that.

Now I know that some of you will say call the nurse. But I was on the same floor that I worked on and the nurse station was right outside the door. I was not going to let my arm swell up and continue to hurt when I was quite capable of doing it myself. I am also aware that the staffing was poor that day. (They needed me and I was a pt)

When I reminded my husband that I was a nurse he said "oh that's right". It was cute.

PS It was instinctive for me to turn it off. It never occured to me that my nurse would rather have me call her.

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He answered, "She is a professional. To her it is like playing scales

Wow! what a wonderful gift he gave you. And insight you gave me. I went home to take of my father during his last days doing his personal care. I haven't been a med surg nurse in 20 yrs. But my Mom needed a break and my sisters were grossed out. I just did what needed to be done and they thought I was wonderful. I never got it. I thought they were silly and maybe a little selfish. Any one of them could have done this. Apparently not as my sisters wanted to hire a "Professional".

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Med-Surg..

I bet somehow my mom knows your mom. My mother will tell me that she or her spouse are going for some sort of test and then she will say after that the test is wrong and that she or her spouse are fine or she will report a result that makes no sense. I gave up the day I saw a book at her home about miracle cures for certain common diseases. This book stated that insulin is not needed for diabetes of any sort.:angryfire

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Specializes in LTC/ rehab/ dialysis.

Insulin ~ why in the heck would you ever want to use that for diabetes ~ LOL~~!!!! My mom is the same way. Most recently she was on a mission to actually find something wrong with her. I believe she feels that if she is ill she will get attention, sympathy, whatever. It's very sad and misguided. She was actually distraught because she is healthy. Dealing with chronically ill people every day, I have absolutely no tolerance for that type of behavior from her. She does not have a clue how blessed she is to be healthy.

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Wow! what a wonderful gift he gave you. And insight you gave me. I went home to take of my father during his last days doing his personal care. I haven't been a med surg nurse in 20 yrs. But my Mom needed a break and my sisters were grossed out. I just did what needed to be done and they thought I was wonderful. I never got it. I thought they were silly and maybe a little selfish. Any one of them could have done this. Apparently not as my sisters wanted to hire a "Professional".

So true. My sister called me to come over right away.

My Dad was starting to have trouble walking, even with the walker. He had spinal mets.

He had had a messy BM because he just could no longer get to the commode. My college educated sister and step mom cdidn't think to put the commode next to the bed.

Simple things we hospital nurses, or aides, learned our first week in the hospital are new to people who don't need to do it.

Even changing an occupied bed is amazing for them.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Even changing an occupied bed is amazing for them.

Yeah, I have had sooo many patients amazed at how smart I am becuase I know that trick. I just tell them that smarter women then I taught me most everything I know. ;)

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Specializes in Telemetry, Case Management.

Yes, indeed, we are chopped liver. Glad you noticed!!!:icon_roll

I have been a nurse on a heart unit for the last five or so years. My DH has a heart condition. He will ask me something, and listen to my answer, repeat it out loud, then say, "Well, I think I'll call Heather and ask her", our RN daughter who works GYN post -op, or "Well, I'll call Darla and ask her," his sister who does peds. Then when they say, "Well, what did Karo say?", he tells them and they say they agree.

THEN he thinks he got the best advice from them. Crazy old man!!!!:bugeyes:

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

A few of us nurses were having a conversation about this one day at work. An attending internist was sitting nearby, and he chimed in about HIS experience with this. He advised his father to take a baby aspirin daily. His father would not oblige, then informed him, "oh guess what? My doctor agreed with you. I'm going to start taking the baby aspirin every day now." As this physician put it, "your parents don't see you as a medical professional. They can still see you picking your nose."

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Specializes in med-surg 5 years geriatrics 12 years.

I learned a long time ago with my husband; I know lots at work, it's only when I get home that I become brainless. I mentioned it to him several times and he said he just wanted to make sure I knew what I was talking about. Decided I have STUPID in glowing letters on my forehead that only he can see. Only thing worse are family members living out of state who call hoping for a long distance diagnosis.....guess they don't know about my STUPID warning.

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

when my mother saw me watching a telemetry bank because the tech called in, she asked if my employers knew I didn't know what I was doing, because she is my mother and she knew I wasn't that smart. I was a monitor tech for 3 years before and while I was going thru nursing school.

My hubby never listens to me if someone tells him the same thing I have then it was their idea. Makes me madder than a wet hen!:angryfire

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Specializes in Cardiac Care, ICU.

It has been so funny (in a sad way) for me to read all these replies. So many of us have mothers poured from the same mold. I wouldn't mind so much if my mother went to another professional for a second opinion, but she will call her beautician and then call me back and let me know I was wrong b/c her beautician says.... UGH!!! I've quit giving her advice and just tell her she needs to call her MD. She thinks I'm stupid any way so I might as well act like it when she asks me a question. At least then she won't be able to call me back and tell me I'm wrong.

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