What am I, chopped liver?

[sunshineonleith]

My mom (who lives in another city) has been sicker than a dog for the last week. Worst headache of her life, 8/10 low back pain, worst on the right flank, fever, chills, extreme fatigue. Decreased UOP with burning and foul odor. States, "I'm pretty sure I've got a raging kidney infection".

I drove 2.5 hours to see her on Sunday, and once there, took one look at her and said, "You need to go to the ED for antibiotics and some fluid". She refused all night long, I finally drug her into her PCP's office on Monday AM. The PCP wanted to admit her right away, but my mom balked. She got started on antiobiotics ASAP and I had go to home. I called last night - SHE FELT WORSE, advised her again to go to the ED but she refused.

She called her PCP for advice, the PCP again advised her to go to the hospital but said, "Its up to you. You will feel worse before you feel better with this kidney infection".

When I asked my mom why she wasn't going to the hospital even though she felt worse and she says, "Well, your dad and I feel I don't need to go after talking with a real professional".

Ouch. Thanks Mom. Not only am I worried about you, but the "real professional" and I agree that you should be in the hospital. ARGH! (through gritted teeth) I DO hope you get better soon!

[Selke]

My mother has done the same thing. She has always told me since a small child, no matter what I say or do, that I don't know what I'm talking about or am lying and will start a personal attack. Yes, that's permanently undermined my developing self confidence, but that's another story. She also hates women and hates herself and thus me ... so many years ago I stopped talking to her and sharing information about me and I don't think she's ever noticed. The less she knows the less she has to attack. She is very sick (physically) and has had untreated mental illness her entire life (probably partially from a harsh childhood of neglect and abuse) and I understand that, but for years I have rarely talked to her because I can't handle the constant negative barrage on my capabilities as a human being. Hang in there. Realize you won't get validation or acknowledgment from your family and look for it elsewhere. Her behavior isn't your fault, you didn't cause it, she did, it's her problem although it affects you deeply.

[BeachBayNurse]

You definitely have to look at the source of the negativity. I have "friends" and family all the time putting down me as a nurse, telling me that nurses sit on their a** all day long. Most of them are in dead end jobs, and are just upset that they did not fulfill their potential. I just simply smile and say that is why they pay me $xy to sit on my butt, but you are soooo smart and work sooo hard and get paid 1/2 of what I do! Payroll must have made a mistake on me :)

[Haunted]

OK! I feel soooo much better knowing that I'm not the only black sheep in the family! As for me, I have a few friends that I call when things are a little off kilter, they are nurses and for some reason their opinion always makes me feel better (Thanks Joanne!!!)

Hope your Mom feels better. Don't forget to say " I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!"

[Diary/Dairy, RN]

My grandpa calls my mom routinely for medical advice - she is a nurse.

Me - been graduated for 5 years and I have yet to receive one call - not that it bothers me - well, maybe a little.....

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

*sigh* Same here.

[bluwavyhat]

I hope your mom gets better too. The hair are standing up on the back of my neck, I believe my parents know your mom or dad. I have learned to take a deep breath especially going to office visits with my family. I must admit that I never laughed so hard. Thank you all for letting me know it is not just me.

[bollweevil]

It's hard to forget that beautiful baby that was once our now grown son or daughter, the nurse, the lawyer, etc. We changed their dipes, remember. Or we wrassled with them when we were kids together, brother and sister, neighbors' kids, you know.

It used to bother me when my family did me this way but I do it to my grown kids, too, shame on me. I try hard to not look at their youthful faces or to remember all the money it cost, the blood, sweat, and tears spent on rearing them and educating them and getting them launched in life. I try to keep in mind that their professors and the licensing boards of the state have blessed them and said they're really professionals. But to me, they're still my children.

[jessiern, BSN, RN]

My momma is a nurse, and she works with me. Try that one once or twice ladies, and then we will talk.

Oh yeah, my husband is right up there with me too.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

I don't get a lot of questions from my family; probably because we live far away. If I were local it would be different. I'd probably also be expected to go to all appointments.

To my in-laws, however, I was definitely chopped liver. My late MIL attended but did not finish nursing school, back in the 30's. She simply could not get her mind around the concept of a nurse practitioner. I remember trying to explain it to her, with the help of her daughter and granddaughter, both of whom had NP providers.

Try to explain advanced practice to someone whose image of a nurse wears a white apron and cap and follows a doctor around with a clipboard in her hands

[GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

When my late Nana was in the hospital for syncope, her IV was beeping. I got up to look at it, just to see if it was a positional problem since her arm was bent. My dad freaked out, saying to wait for a nurse to come in. Um, I wasn't going to do anything except move her arm. I guess an RN family member who works med/surg can't be trusted to do that, but the CNA who came in the room can be trusted. :icon_roll But at least my Nana trusted me. She would call me to come to her house to check her bp and listen to her lungs (she had CHF)to see if she needed to go to the ER.

[pickledpepperRN]

My step mom asked me to be caregiver for my Dad when he was home in hospice.

He was a smart and talented man who just never understood what nurses do. He was always proud of his girls but was way more excited when I earned my BSN than my LVN license.

He was a high school music teacer and a professional musician. I know if you go to movies or watch TV you have heard his horn. As a studio musician he had to sight read perfectly the first time. one mistake and you are not called back again.

As he needed more care my step mom said to me, "It must be embarassing doing such dirty personal things to your father."

He answered, "She is a professional. To her it is like playing scales."

I'm not sure he knew what a gift that was to me.

[Happy2CU]

GooeyRN I so totally know what you are talking about. My mother assumes I know nothing (which is actually fine by me) because I am "only an LPN". On the other hand, a friend of hers who had worked as a CNA over 10 years ago is a vast source of medical knowledge and information for her. My mother will proudly proclaim, "After all, she's a CNA!!" About the only time my mother's negativity towards me actually bothers me is when she has the audacity to talk down about me (again because I am "only an LPN") to my adult children. Thank goodness she lives in a different state and thank goodnes for caller id ~ LOL!!!!!