Unsupportive spouse?

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Anyone starting or in Nursing School and their spouse isn't supportive? My husband is trying to ruin me going to school from ever angle. Anyone else dealt with or dealing with this? He makes it nearly impossible for me to go to class without an argument and we have 3 children so he always uses them as an excuse.

Specializes in ED.

When I went to school I had three in diapers, but I also had huge support from my husband. What I tried to do was make sure I left as little impact on evening hours as possible. They were in day care all day while I was in school and then evening was family time. I don't know anyone personally though who made it through with little ones in tow and a husband who was not supportive.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.

The other issue, if he is not being abusive, is that when you divorce, he gets the kids for a certain amount of time and YOU have no control over that.

I truly think the kids need to be the center of this discussion.

I wish I could double like this! PS if he is being emotionally / financially abusive, that's nearly impossible to prove. And he will get some custody. And if he's emotionally manipulative he may try to turn the kids against you.

I want the best for the original poster. Everything I've written was not meant to hurt, but to help. I'm sorry if my words hurt, as I mean no harm.

I was in a similar situation.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
I don't know anyone personally though who made it through with little ones in tow and a husband who was not supportive.

I made it through Cna school, Lvn school and was just accepted to rn school with an unsupportive spouse.

I'm now divorced, (separated during prereqs and Cna school, divorce finalized after I became a licensed nurse) my relationship with 2 of my 3 of my kids is damaged severely.

It was still worth it, as his true colors would have eventually surfaced. But my decision to go to school was the catalyst.

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That's how mine was now I'm divorced. Hahahaha - in short - he didn't want a woman who could support herself and didn't "need" him.

I say go to counseling and figure out the deeper issue.

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Well I value my marriage and my vows for one so there's that, but you don't leave somebody just because they don't support you in something. He may be having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I'm going to be independent of him or it may be something else. Whatever the case is, if I decide to leave, I won't be leaving until I can take care of my children financially without him. Which means I will be finishing nursing school, I've been in school before and without his support so I'll be fine. His support doesn't make or break me. I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced an unsupportive spouse, apparently I'm the only one.

You are FAR from the only one. During my school years MANY of us were in the program in order to learn a skill that would enable us to be independent from a controlling spouse.

YOUR controlling spouse realizes your goal... and is sabotaging you. As you are aware of this, the only thing you can do is .. take CONTROL of your future goals.

His lack of support may very well "make or break you".

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You are FAR from the only one. During my school years MANY of us were in the program in order to learn a skill that would enable us to be independent from a controlling spouse.

YOUR controlling spouse realizes your goal... and is sabotaging you. As you are aware of this, the only thing you can do is .. take CONTROL of your future goals.

His lack of support may very well "make or break you".

I'm sorry but I hear all this talk about unsupporting spouses, I guess their good enough to support you while in nursing school but not good enough after? Please let's keep in mind that there's always two sides of any issue.

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Specializes in hospice.
I'm sorry but I hear all this talk about unsupporting spouses, I guess their good enough to support you while in nursing school but not good enough after? Please let's keep in mind that there's always two sides of any issue.

The whole point is he is not supporting her in going to nursing school.

And are you saying a person should remain in an abusive relationship because someone spent money on them?

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The whole point is he is not supporting her in going to nursing school.

And are you saying a person should remain in an abusive relationship because someone spent money on them?

I'm sorry I did not explain clearly, I'm saying the opposite, nobody should stay in a bad marriage, that includes while going through nursing school. I see this a LOT, nursing students trashing their husbands while staying in the relationship to make it easy to get through school. My point is, the marriage is bad? Leave and do not stay for the sake of convenience.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I'm sorry but I hear all this talk about unsupporting spouses, I guess their good enough to support you while in nursing school but not good enough after? Please let's keep in mind that there's always two sides of any issue.

Really? He clearly doesn't want to do anything, nothing makes him happy. I'm sure if we got any kind of story from him it wouldn't be any better. I was in a severely abusive relationship, you telling me I should've stayed with him? Married him? Had his kids? That is ridiculous!

If he is as bad (or possibly worse) as she is telling us, she should leave, now! She will have no support during her pre-reqs, nursing school or career. But only she can make that choice. Yes it is difficult to leave someone you married & love, especially when they are abusive. They are great manipulators & make things seem great then BAM! Everything is terrible again, the abuse comes in waves.

So unless you have been in our shoes, don't make disparaging comments like that. No one should stay. But of course it's the males that are saying that garbage.

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Really? He clearly doesn't want to do anything, nothing makes him happy. I'm sure if we got any kind of story from him it wouldn't be any better. I was in a severely abusive relationship, you telling me I should've stayed with him? Married him? Had his kids? That is ridiculous!

If he is as bad (or possibly worse) as she is telling us, she should leave, now! She will have no support during her pre-reqs, nursing school or career. But only she can make that choice. Yes it is difficult to leave someone you married & love, especially when they are abusive. They are great manipulators & make things seem great then BAM! Everything is terrible again, the abuse comes in waves.

So unless you have been in our shoes, don't make disparaging comments like that. No one should stay. But of course it's the males that are saying that garbage.

Ok first, I apologize, I came across in a way I did not intend. My point is, if the relationship is bad then one must end it, staying so that nursing school is easier like I see so many do in real life makes one look like a person that takes advantage. I have seen so many nursing students bad mouth their spouses, cheat, etc. while in nursing school. If it's that bad, leave. Oh and good going with the man hating comment :(

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Ok first, I apologize, I came across in a way I did not intend. My point is, if the relationship is bad then one must end it, staying so that nursing school is easier like I see so many do in real life makes one look like a person that takes advantage. I have seen so many nursing students bad mouth their spouses, cheat, etc. while in nursing school. If it's that bad, leave. Oh and good going with the man hating comment :(

There was another man who made a rude comment & I commented right after you. So thank you for your apology.

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There was another man who made a rude comment & I commented right after you. So thank you for your apology.

My heart goes out for you.

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