Unsupportive spouse?

cracklingkraken, ASN, RN · May 10, 2015

Why is he so adamantly against you attending nursing school? How old are your children?

spierre · May 10, 2015

Children are 4 she starts elementary school in August, then there is 2 1/2 and 8 months. He works during the day so I'm home with them and I go to school at night. I truly think it's because he thinks when I am making my own money that I will leave him. I've been dependent on him financially for 5 years since I was a stay at home mom for most of our marriage.

spierre · May 10, 2015

But it could also be I'm not at his disposal to watch the kids so he can't do as he pleases or go wherever whenever anymore.

allnurses Guide · May 10, 2015

To be honest, he has a point.

Did you guys discuss this before you got married? Did he know you wanted to go back to school after having kids?

Personally, I think the ages of your children will make this a hard road. Not impossible but hard nonetheless.

I'd really suggest counseling ASAP. You both need to find an answer to this that both of you can work together on and not let this tear your family apart.

The kiddos need their parents and you need to be a team.

WookieeRN, BSN, MSN, RN · May 10, 2015

You guys definitely need to look into counseling. It seems like there are underlying issues in the marriage, and it is being projecting onto you going to nursing school. Nursing school very well may NOT be the issue. Just looking from your posts it seems like you need to sit down with your husband and discuss a few things.

cracklingkraken, ASN, RN · May 10, 2015

It sounds like these concerns are something you should discuss with your husband. Going to school while your children are young, I agree, is difficult. Did you not discuss how nursing school would demand a lot of your time and consult with him when deciding to go to nursing school? I'm not judging. I just wanted some clarifications. If he agreed that you should attend nursing school, and I am hoping that you talked to him about nursing school before actually enrolling, than I find it odd that he is now opposed against it.

spierre · May 10, 2015

Done counseling, he's been trying to force me to work since I had our first child, I got a job selling cars and he quickly started complaining about how I wasn't home to cook or take care of the kids because I was working 10-12 hours a day. Every time I've gotten a job I've quit because of his complaining. He wants the money from me working, he just doesn't want me to work the actual hours because I won't be home to cook him dinner or watch the kids. Lol it's not because our kids are young, it's because he's selfish. He knew I wanted to go to school and we agreed I would be a stay at home mom, none of this was sprung on him.

spierre · May 10, 2015

We have sat down and talked, he was fine with me going to school, we have done counseling, like I said none of this was sprung on him. This has been in the works since 2013.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · May 10, 2015

If you've gone to counseling & it didn't work, why are you with him..honestly. I'm not trying to be rude. If there is fighting going on, is that what's best for your kids, for you?

He wants you to make money but then yells at you for not being home when you are working. So then you quit to be at home but then he yells at you for not making money. It sounds like no matter what you do, you will never please him. I think you have deep thinking to do.

Purple_roses · May 10, 2015

We have sat down and talked, he was fine with me going to school, we have done counseling, like I said none of this was sprung on him. This has been in the works since 2013.

It seems like he didn't really understand how demanding nursing school would be. One thing is for certain though: you need him to be supportive in this. School is hard, kids are hard, marriage is hard, and that combination is quite a hurdle to get past. This is something you will have to continue trying to work out with him. Just remind him that it's temporary. I hope it all works out.

cracklingkraken, ASN, RN · May 10, 2015

From what you have said, it sounds like this has been an ongoing problem and will not likely change no matter what you choose to pursue. However, as PP has stated, you need his support. It is hard enough to be successful in nursing school without having someone fighting against you the whole way.