Totally Gross! Had to share...

Nurses Relations

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Ok. So my pt was a slightly demented, whiny, demanding, drug-abusing female in her 70's. She's very strange. She can be very sweet and then turn nutso on you in less than a second. Anyway, I brought her a Lortab. I set the MAR down on her bedside table and she asked for a tissue. I go over and get the tissue off of the sink, and she takes the Lortab in the meantime. As soon as she swallows it, she then asks, "Can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* "I just gave you a Lortab." "Well, then can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* This goes on and on. Hard not to laugh and/or strangle her. As we're discussing the ever-elusive lortab, she blows her nose on a tissue (huge gob of snot came out)...and then reaches down with the same tissue and wipes her crotch... :eek: Just wait. It gets better. Then, she takes that snotty crotch tissue and plops it down on the MAR! :eek::eek::eek: OMG! I just about died. Had a fun time explaining to pharmacy why they needed to print me a new MAR... :rolleyes:

Specializes in OR, peds, PALS, ICU, camp, school.
Ok, someone asked what I did with MAR. I chunked it in the biowaste bin. It got covered in an NG tube's fluids when I did that, so I figured you couldn't read it anymore by then. I called the pharmacy and told them what happened so they could print me a new MAR. And thank goodness the same night nurse from the previous night was back again so she could re-sign the meds she gave on the new MAR. She just about keeled over when I told her why...

Tip for anybody wondering what they would do if documentation became contaminated with bio-fluids- slap a tegaderm over the affected area. Back, too. We've had to do that in the OR or in codes when flowsheets got too close to splattering fluids.

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Specializes in Psych.

That is gross, but hilarious!!!!:yeah: Now I finally understand why one of my clinical instructors would not allow us to bring the MAR in the patients room! She probably had a similar experience. Thanks for posting!

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Specializes in Transgender Medicine.

Glad you all have enjoyed it. And to the one who knew what to do with the MAR...thanks. I'll know what to do next time. But I'll probably place the tegaderm on it and still put it in the shredder and request a new MAR. Oi! The things we work with...:rolleyes:

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LOL !! ....and ewwww

We had an elderly male patient that would roll over on his side and pee on the floor. We would be at the NS and hear what we thought was a facet running but it would be grandpa urinating on the floor. I called him the phantom pee'er.

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Specializes in Transgender Medicine.

LOL! Phantom pee'er?! :rotfl:

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I had another LOL in her 70's or 80's who asked me if I could give her some of my alcohol pads, so I did. I went in her bathroom to emtpy her hat, and when I came out again she was using them to wipe her nether regions! Sheesh. From one extreme to the other on my floor. :lol2: Now that's taking peri care a bit far I think.

would MUCH prefer to do peri care on the lady who used etoh wipes, than the one who now has a glob of boogers in netherland.

i've seen a lot of acts w/stool, but boogers-in-the-crotch is a new one.

(oh gawd, i'm heaving)

leslie

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
QUOTE=leslie :-D;4201857]would MUCH prefer to do peri care on the lady who used etoh wipes, than the one who now has a glob of boogers in netherland.

i've seen a lot of acts w/stool, but boogers-in-the-crotch is a new one.

(oh gawd, i'm heaving)

leslie

:barf01:- :barf01:-:barf01: Where's sharpeimom? She always does such artful "gross out" replies!! (i am not worthy:))

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
:barf01:- :barf01:-:barf01: where's sharpei mom? she always does such artful "gross out" replies!! (i am not worthy:))

thank you, nursel 56! and my poor mother tried soooo hard to raise a proper young lady...:rolleyes:

i really didn't have a terribly dysfunctional childhood, but one of my dad's eternally bachelor friends did give me a fantastic book of sick jokes when i was eleven and that was probably the beginning of my downward spiral!

oh well... it's nice to be good at something!!!:D:eek:

:barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02::barf02:

:cheers:

kathy

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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:eek: Poor Baby. OMG I can only imagine the look on Dad's face.

Oh jeez.... this reminds me of a day in post-partum... suddenly we hear this sudden, shrill cry coming from a room and a father frantically flings the door open and runs to the NS for help... we all file into the room to find he had just used an alcohol swab on his son's freshly circumcised member! :no:

Yep, he alcoholed the member and put vaseline gauze on the cord.... Poor baby! :heartbeat

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I just recently had a lady say to me, "Do you guys have any alcohol? You know ... the stuff you use to sanitize things with?" ... I couldn't figure out what the HECK she needed alcohol for, I decided I had to ask.

"Oh well when I sleep sometimes my panties get wet, so I put some alcohol in them and it dries a lot quicker."

Needless to say rubbing alcohol wasn't given, however I did provide her with some nice peri-pads and undergarments that were NOT soiled.

This was the same lady that said, "OH GOOD THE (****PURPLE****) color is coming back to my foot ... that'll make my foot feel so much better! This is more my normal color!!!!" (Vascular patients ... gotta love 'em!)

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it made me spew my iced tea all over an indignant kitten:eek: and my new laptop!:uhoh3:

the later it is and the more tired i am, the harder i seem to laugh... my husband says it's because i've been a nurse too long?!:rolleyes:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

how funny kathy....take heart...at least it didn't come out of your nose---or did it???? :eek:

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
how funny kathy....take heart...at least it didn't come out of your nose---or did it???? :eek:

no, thank heaven! couldn''t have been my older laptop though... :rolleyes:

maybe someone will invent a "spew protector" for various size laptops. it might came with the allnurses.com logo, maybe:idea: that way, we'd look terribly chic and clever instead of like clumsy

dorks... kitten protectors are a bit harder to come by!:D

kathy

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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