Totally Gross! Had to share...

Published

Specializes in Transgender Medicine.

Ok. So my pt was a slightly demented, whiny, demanding, drug-abusing female in her 70's. She's very strange. She can be very sweet and then turn nutso on you in less than a second. Anyway, I brought her a Lortab. I set the MAR down on her bedside table and she asked for a tissue. I go over and get the tissue off of the sink, and she takes the Lortab in the meantime. As soon as she swallows it, she then asks, "Can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* "I just gave you a Lortab." "Well, then can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* This goes on and on. Hard not to laugh and/or strangle her. As we're discussing the ever-elusive lortab, she blows her nose on a tissue (huge gob of snot came out)...and then reaches down with the same tissue and wipes her crotch... :eek: Just wait. It gets better. Then, she takes that snotty crotch tissue and plops it down on the MAR! :eek::eek::eek: OMG! I just about died. Had a fun time explaining to pharmacy why they needed to print me a new MAR... :rolleyes:

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Omg!!!!!!! ewwwwwww:eek:

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Specializes in Peds Homecare.

:grn:Yuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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Please pass the emesis basin... :barf01:

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Lol, you made me laugh, I guess nobody knows how your day will go

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Specializes in home health, dialysis, others.

Hahahaha! Better on the MAR than on YOU!!!!

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Specializes in CTICU/CVICU.
Hahahaha! Better on the MAR than on YOU!!!!

That's TRUE!!! Hahahahaha!!

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Specializes in LTC.

What did you do with the MAR?

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Specializes in Urgent Care, Family Medicine & OB/GYN.

LOL! Holarious! Gross but hilarious!

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

omg!:uhoh3: :eek: :eek::barf02:

i think i might have boiled the mar!!:D

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

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Ok. So my pt was a slightly demented, whiny, demanding, drug-abusing female in her 70's. She's very strange. She can be very sweet and then turn nutso on you in less than a second. Anyway, I brought her a Lortab. I set the MAR down on her bedside table and she asked for a tissue. I go over and get the tissue off of the sink, and she takes the Lortab in the meantime. As soon as she swallows it, she then asks, "Can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* "I just gave you a Lortab." "Well, then can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* This goes on and on. Hard not to laugh and/or strangle her. As we're discussing the ever-elusive lortab, she blows her nose on a tissue (huge gob of snot came out)...and then reaches down with the same tissue and wipes her crotch... :eek: Just wait. It gets better. Then, she takes that snotty crotch tissue and plops it down on the MAR! :eek::eek::eek: OMG! I just about died. Had a fun time explaining to pharmacy why they needed to print me a new MAR... :rolleyes:

"snotty crotch tissue".............heh heh...snicker, wheeze...........Is that a highly evolved medical/technical term???? God, that made me laugh! The rest was good, too but still.............

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Specializes in Acute post op ortho.

Sweet Jesus, this brings back memories.

The patient who, during a normal conversation, took my hand and smeared a huge bugger on my arm.:eek:

The patient who decided he wanted to go home...NOW...at 3 am, in the nude, stabbed me in the ear with a banana.:uhoh3:

Yes, I said banana......try living that one down...

The German woman who cleaned the hat I left in her toilet, and taped a turd to the side rail of her bed. Hey, I asked her for a stool sample, I failed to tell her to leave it in the hat. (Some explanations really ARE necessary).

The night a male patient, sitting on the side of his bed, missed his urinal & peed directly into the side of my shoe....:eek::eek::eek:

The midget who needed a hand getting to the bathroom (IV pole...o2...ect...) and dropped a huge turd directly on top of my foot. She never even realized what had happened....:idea:

The man who reached up to cup my breast as I took his blood pressure...his wife was sitting right there, oblivious to my predicament.:uhoh21:

The woman who decided to remove all the staples from the graft site on her leg post cabg. She had a pair of tweezers, digging under each staple........ popping them across the room.....:eek:

I could do this all night.

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